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Show FOK Till: LADIE. A cyn;.: rrkj tht the oiiiy time a WuUjuu lurL'-u iu i viin Li . Llwl aiie T!ic ttuii wh j ; upp:l the fjUcftion by tariL-lit trut liU wi;-t.h':ar:'.-i coa-, coa-, --'iU ill ii IWiuklin. I Hume '"liorri'l" UJa.n y3 lli'il iu iL prt.-tut Mi it1 uf iri---io ytmn lailii---iiir, it ifi ha.rd ty tt,U whiob Li with. "My doar'eaiJ a youns lady lo lior country eoiiaio, "vthen yuu'vo twea a j iktlo lotiL'r in Ljud.jii, you won't be mj rt.'L-n." ! "Uettcr LTd.'n tb m witin're," wj ' the retort. A Winnebago outntry woman who lia.s jaid taxes on her liuu iur many years, and who h:w boon a female sut-t'raf-e advocate during all tbat timo, tpjw doclart'S that -lie wiil tai.d it no luriiT. A youi: ifi'irrk'd luan was rami Icing Ic-ing to some la'lios that it was always the women who ran after t he men, wlit'ii LU wife indignantly said: "1'uu know, my dear, I never ran after yuu." "That may be," lie replied, "but you took mighty good care not to get uut of the w;iy." The Danbury Xcics .-sj teaks of a d -jeeted individual who aked tho editor what the ehanre was for inserting a notice of the death of his wife. "On beinii told that it would be done for not hintr, he Lrk-htcned up considerably and observed that "death had been robbed of hall' its terrors.'' There ia a very stout old lady who rides a great deal in the Cineionati street ears, and lor whom, no matter how crowded they may be the passengers passen-gers always find a scat. Uer persua sivcnes.s never fails. Her method is to bustle in and prepare to sit down on the passenger's hip. The hint is enough. A Wisconsin man was taken dangerously danger-ously sick, lie sent for his wife to come at once and care lor him. Now the wife's mother was sick, too, and she sent this dispateh to her languishing languish-ing husband : "Dear Tim, mother is sick; I can't leave her. I'o the best you can. If you die, send your body home." A rich but ignorant lady of Boston, who was ambitious that her conversation conversa-tion should be up to the transcendental style, in speaking of a friend, said: "lie is a paragram of politeness !" '"Excuse me," said a wag sitting next to her; "but do you not mean a parallelogram?'' "Of course 1 mean a parallelogram," replied the ambitious lady; "how could I have made such a mistake?" An Towa gentleman, who was involved in-volved in domestic trouble?, met with a genuine "Job's comforter"- the other morning. Meeting an old friend, who was a widower, he related his trouble to him, and told him lie expected ex-pected to be broken up, as his wife had commenced suit against him for $;i,UW alimony. "Well," said tho widower," "I'll wait and see h,ow she comes out, and if she succeeds, I'll go lor her." A Cleveland husband said to his wile: "Wouldn't you like to go down and shake hands with Duke Alex V "Duke Fiddlestick," she replied with a contemptuous curl of tho lip, j "No, of course not! What do you suppose I care nbout him? Uc isn't any hotter than anybody else !'' She sat in eontemplativo silence for a minute or two, and then looking up asked with an innocent smile, "Could I if I wanted to?" |
