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Show TTEMS FOIt THE LADIES. "Can you return my love, dearest Julia?" "Certainly, bir. Idon'twant it, I'm sure." In Troy it is the custom to have female fe-male pall bearers. "Who, who would live always?" A Hartford paper says: "Newton, Connecticut, has two sewing societies, which explains why it hasn't a newspaper." news-paper." Morrissey's gambling establishment at Saratoga is opened every day from 10 till 1 o'clock to allow women an op- portunity of examining it. Newport journals claim Kate Field as the best lady rower in all that town. But for n lecture room roar, there is no doubt Miss Dickinson can boat her. "I think I have lost at least half a dozen husbands," said a coquette at the Branch, "by putting on a bathing dress, and I'll never do it again till my married future is secure." A young man stepped into a bookstore book-store and said he wanted to got a "Young Man's Companion." "Well, sir," said the bookseller, "here's my daughter." A lady in South Kingston, N. H. , living alone and far away from neighbors, neigh-bors, gave birth to twins lately, which she washed and clothed before anybody came along of whom she eould ask help. The husband was off on business. "I would do anything to gratify you; I would go to the end of the world to please you," said a fervent lover to the object of his affections. "(jo there, and stay, sir, and I shall be pleased," was the reply. A little girl of three years was saying her prayers not long since, when her little brother, about four years old, came slyly behind and pulled her hair. Without moving her head she paused and said: "Please, Lord, excuse me a minute while I kick Herby." As broad as it is long. A German statistical writer remarks that the invention in-vention of the sewing machine has enabled ena-bled one woman to sew as much as a hundred could sew by hand a century ago; but, he continues, one woman now demands as much clothing as a hundred did a century ago so that matters aro not much changed after all. We would advise girls who go out riding with young men always to grab the lines when the team gets frightened. frighten-ed. It prevents the driver from turning turn-ing the buggy over. Another good plan fur them is to throw their arms around i he young man and fcreatu at ' lie (up ot their voices. It soothes the f iglitriicd h'T.-a-s, and callus 'he excited exci-ted driver. 1 Donnxiii; ,S'ri iK.-Inuirin' Young Lady (J. dear, lull un; Ik.w John declared de-clared his love. Kspei-tant Wife Will Fanny, we were in the p:ir.ir. yuu know, and all at once he turned up his eyes, so that I thought he was ill. Then he turned em doHii and squeezed my hand, and a-ked me if I'd have him and Inquiring Yming Lady Well, dear well, what did he do next? ' Kxpectaut Wife Nothing, dear; but I said yes, am, gracious, how lie kissed tile! Then, de:ir, I laid my lie;id on his shoulder, and then he talked, dear. O, how I trembled I thought I never could go through it. |