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Show - TXKLIXGS. Sunday service at Helena, Montana, consists of horse-trots. An Indiana paper says its hopes have "gone where the mole dwclleth." Why is an empty champagne bottle like an orphan ? Because it has lost its "pep. Aq unfortunate listener begs lor some one to invent a noiseless hand-organ. hand-organ. The Memphis Fire Department turned out in full force the other night to extinguish the aurora borealis. A New Yorker is said to have imported im-ported two thousand dollars worth of Irish ewallows probably meaning peat whisky. Mothers used to provide switches for their daughters from the nearest bush; now the daughters get their own switches from the milliner. A woman lecturer says woman's sphere is "bounded on the north by her husband, on the east by her baby, on the south by her mothcr-in-law, aud on the west by her maiden aunt." A gay deceiver in New York is disgusted dis-gusted at the legal decision that the fact of his living with a woman aud calling her his wile makes her such to the extent that he will have to pay her board. Should the Prussians ever succeed in entering Paris, it is hardly possible that they can be well received by the citizens, whether they did find Pavre there or not. Tom "I say, Jack, what a beautiful complexion Miss Smith has. Do you know her ?" Jack "No, but I know a girl who buys her complexion at the same store at which Mits Smith buys hers." Additional spots on the disc of the sun are reported. An ingenious writer, wri-ter, who candidly states that he is not an astronomer, accounts for them by suggesting that they are caused by stray uhots from the Prussian sharpshooters sharp-shooters who tried to bring down balloons. bal-loons. The English journals are commenting comment-ing upou the fact that four Peers ol Parliament, to wit : the Puke of Newcastle, New-castle, the Earl of Westmoreland, the Earl of Winchelsea, and the Baron de Mauley, are all wiping out their debts by taking advantage of the bankrupt law. The Port Dodge Republican says : "In a suit tried for divorce at the Court House last Saturday, the defendant de-fendant said he didn't mind his wife associating with a few other white men, but when he found she was running run-ning around with a couple of niggers, he never had any little thing make him so mad in all his life." If urscry lihyinc. Father, way I to out to drill ? Ob, yc, my lUrlinj; tion ; But take your coiupituy on a bill. AnJ pack a woo-len-cii n. |