| Show THE LETHERGO GALLA GHER MINE Roger Pocock in the Daily Astorian Mining queried the stranger mining Well now 1 reckon to be posted on I mining Didnt I take hold of the Let HerGoGallagher silver mine when the stock was down to nothing and make i worth 53 within a year Ever hear of the LetHerGoGallagher Oh but you ought to for Gallagher stock has been glammocking around on London Lon-don change since 18SO A pretty straight silver proposition was the Let HerGoGallagher A America miner would have stocked her at a hundred thousand dollars and made dividends but pshaw What can you expect of a gang of Britishars A company pr ijer pJcivaa her up cheap from the assigns of a busted Jew got up a syndicate syn-dicate with Lord John Guineapig for president and times being soso palmed off a million dollars worth of stock on the mugginses Then he invested in-vested the plunder in his wifes name went smashed and got whitewashed in bankruptcy So there was the LetHerGoGalla gher like a white elephant on the hands of Lord Guineapig and hi mug ginses What was they going to do Work the mine Well you see Lord Guineapigs younger brother was a mining expert and the mugginses mostly preachers and widowswere proud to be humbugged by a lord so I the end of it was that the directors levied a assessment and started to work developing And as I said an American mining man with 10000000 would have made the mine pay but it needs thundering big profits to distribute a dividend on a million dollars These tenderfeet began be-gan operations by renting a big place in the city built a quarter million dollar dol-lar granite building for offices in Denver Den-ver put up the wrong kind of a mill the wrong kind of smelter and the wrong kind of works then to show how much they didnt know gave the management t the Hon Augustus Guineapig At the city offices there were clerks typewriters and flunkeys at the mine assayers experts managers man-agers clerks typewriters and flunkeys Moreover they all had their horses their their theiw eyeglasses teir dogs gps eyeglases and their horsecloth overcoats Every time the assayer sent home a button of silver there was a champagne luncheon for the directors every managers man-agers report went as a puff to the newspapers and the official photog of rapher used to send large groups + VQ ortoff in fhtiir 0nrkintr clothes On change the stock wobbled up and wobbled down with every letter from Colorado why even the head of an elk sent home by the Hon Augustus sent it up three points But at last all the capital was spent no ore was insight in-sight worth a cuss and the shares were hard to sell in the city a three for a shilling Thats when I met Lord Guineapig in Denverblue as vitriolfor hed got to report to his shareholders that theyd been sold again poor suckers and must make an assignment Lookahere says I have you any particular hankering after liquidation liquida-tion I tionWhat I What do YOU mean sir Well sir it seems to me that now I youre in a nasty hole itd be superfluous super-fluous to wallow around in i Spose I I take ahold of your mine and make it I pay whatll you do for me in the way of shares Oh Ill leave you our assayer Mr I Gneissmann Mr Smiff our accountant account-ant the Honorable Augus I Take em away and bury em says I I Take their lordships their horses I their dawgs their guns their blarsted I eyeglasses and their horsecloth ulsters I I I want your dead mine but I aint I having no truck with the long procession proces-sion of mourners I want five thousand I down absolute power and a third of the profits Thats how T became manager of the S LetHerGoGallagher mine Takes a welleducated liar to manage I a mine Most bossss when they get 1 into a paystreak cable home Great bonanzaimmense returns coming Of course the stock goes up flying Then when the engines bust or a few I men get smashed they wire Dreadful Dread-ful catastrophe so that the shares go down down down till the bottom drops out Now when I struck it rich I kept my mouth shut till Id filled up the safe against a rainy day then Id be able to have all sorts of smashups smash-ups without their being any the wiser in the London market Not that I did have much trouble beyond an occasional occa-sional shooting scrape on pay day Fact is my life was straight bliss save for one thing and that was a Brit isher isherI Smiff Lord Guineapigs old accountant ac-countant who knew no more about mining that a Freibourg expert but the creature having lots of wealth bought the mine n x t ours the Ga > laghers Daddy Now I aint prejudiced prejudic-ed to speak of i but I never had any I use for an English ladida son of a lord in checked pants and gaiters I hated me too worse tan plzen blast its cheek Not that wasted my busies bus-ies hours hating fo I kept my head shut until I could give a chance mark in the eye to the Gallaghers Daddy Well one night who should come in t my office but a young woman Pret t a a picture she was all wet and shivering but her mouth was gummy gum-my Cry Cried fit to break he lit tie heart Mr Smiff she said was a beast a horrid little beast yes thats what she said Smiff had sent for her all the way from England as his clerk and typewriter then when she showed show-ed up at the mine coolly Informed her tat he had since written countermand Ing the order Wouldnt take her in tae in out of the rain Mad 1 > d have killed the thing but that being midsummer game was plumib out of season sC ln Pretty A perfect little witch of a womanblack hair black eyes that snapped and a thin oval winsome sort of face that bowled me right out She had the cunningest cutest little curest litte ways you ever seen and a real lady every inch I took her right on my books as secretary walked her over to our land lady at our boarding house shark and had a cabin fixed up regardies and regnss bur she was a ripping clerksmart asa as-a stock broker always busy eager to learn sharp a a steel trap with the books Shed take down my Betters in shorthand whisk them off on the typewriter type-writer keep the letterbook indexed up to the minute run the postage stamps Why I get so used to her in a week that I barely took the trouble to sign what she wrote much lesS to see if it was correct Fact is I gave over my heart the keys of the safe and the books She ran me she ran the office and if she liked she was free to run the mine How she did hate the Thine t Tin hat horrid nasty Smiff 0 Bit by bit she put me up to the scheme llttle by little she led me on I just burning to get quits with the Thing if only for her sake At last she showed me how I could fairly knock the stuffing out of the Gw lagers Daddy You see hed struck it rich lit on to I a bonanza that was the talk of Colorado i Colo-rado The Silver Chamber they called 1 Fta mass of sulphurets and ruby silver ver big as a church running 2000 a ton I was right at the nd of the ledge within a few feet of the end jot my third level rift which had been rich to the very end of my claim Grab into It said th sly little puss Trouble Never fear I youve got the pluck says she Ill supply the brains Now says she Ill gv > around and begin by squaring Smiffs1 engineer get around him in a jiffy and well take such a rise out of old Smiff that hell think lies sal down on dynamite dynamie S > Of course she twisted > me round her little finger o before Id time to think 0 t f Dont suppose Id have run full tilt at j a whole code of laws in niy natural senses S We bribed Smiffs engineer who disabled dis-abled his hoisting gear in such a way the mine had to be closed down while he sent down to Denver for skilled hands S While Smiffs men were lying around we bought them up till there werent six left on his payroll while I was working double shifts on the third last drift Now both mines were worked with shafts because there was no stope around worth tunneling from moreover they were both wet as Niagara Niag-ara so you see the pumps were about the heaviest part of the machinery At that little cato instigation I took I some carpenters one night to the Daddys shaft Lowering men with ropes we got three solid brackets fixed to the tmbering say forty feet down Then we lowered down a tank of well tarred lumber which neatly fitted in the brackets and filled up the shaft Finally we put in three feet of water and stole away Next morning the Thing came sauntering down to the I works and when he looked down the shaft there was the black water within I a few feet of the top Bai Joave what a beastly shame I wailed Me mines all full o water Oh dear Come you men you beastly engineer fellah wig up the pump But the beastly engineer fellah couldnt wig up the pump because the did pump was busted Work How we worked Double shifts double time Sundays holidays hoisting out the bonanza sulphsrets of the GaHaghersi Daddy The silver I chamberwhy the names pigwash to the rely I never il all my mining experience saw such a haul ThanK that Smiff petted Think he found out and had deputy sheriffs around my ears Not a bit The critter went off fishing yes sir fishing and was the laughing stock of Colorado while I hustled Ye gods I w the blindest ass ever born Never found it out till Id worked the silver chamber down to the last ton never till the last ounce wa consigned to the smelting in 1 sllng company down Denver Den-ver I was down there for my holidays when I met the manager of the Great Dinde Smelter company and he greeted me with a regular horse laugh Well Mr Philanthropist said he how goes it mean Philanthropist What do you meanWhy aint you been working worltng I double shifts for the last three months and consigning every blessed dollar of your bullion to the credit of the Gal I laghers Daddy Youre mad says r Well Ive been thinking it was you j who d gone locoed unless youve I I mortgaged body and soul to Mr I Smiff II A Hvht Vitml rx i A tir A I uvjtxc in uii me ijeis see I the books Fhowled and my letters tU se Yes i was the cold paralyzed truth I Id been victimized horribly victim ized by that little shecat While I I signed letters without glancing at them shed written strict orders from I me that all the bullion was to be credited to Smiff of the Gallaghers Daddy te Galaghers I While he was away fishing with I scarcely six men to go on his wit j I d been working his mine at the expense ex-pense of my company and handing over the whole proceeds to his bankers bank-ers I was a horribly putup job That shefiend of a secretary had been sent down by the critter in revenge She was his wife newly out from Eng iana Mrs Smiff of the Gallaghers Daddy mine LLJ Galaghers Can you ask Canyou torture the heartstrings of a ruined man I skipped the country that night and the LetHerGoGallagher Silver Min Siver 1In ing Syndicate Limdted is > a busted community 1 |
