Show THE CHRISTIAN WHOOPER Tho To Truo Te Tale Tola Te of a a News Newspaper paper pape Experiment t Denver Post Post The Te Daily Daiy Whooper of Iba Ib Dam Da Was Waz Va a n truly trl progressive paper paperA pape A fearless eose of ot every sham sha i And Ad a public opinion shaper That never economized in Ia ink mk inkIn inkIn In I telling people what to think tk And Ad Editor Hustler luster used use to toI say i In I his hs own ow impressive and pompous way If I people p said saidI would do as a Tie The Whopper If I people would do as n The he Whooper And Ad keep kep stuff its it axles ale well el greased with wit And Ad sneeze when whan the te editor took tok snuff Hed give the camp p an enduring fame fae On the roster of ot progress would grave gaye its it name nae From a weak and flickering taper Hed make mae of It an electric tight That would shine so long and ad would Wu shine so 50 bright That the world word would pause in I Its wild wid amaze And Ad fix f its it eyes eye on the te western weer blaze ble There want a scheme shee or a startling fad lad He tackle and work work by gad gd To make it the proper caper pe He said one day that the te time was w ripe For lor a Christian dally daily daly and ad twant rp the pipe That had put the dream In his hi brainy briny head But dead hed formed tore the opinion on the te In his hi sober moments and calling cnn in inThe InThe inThe The parson paron who battled the hosts bests hO of sin In With the te Gospel weapon he laid the to plan Before the astonished holy man ma Who had never neve dreamed dreme that tat the he e Lord would send sendA A weapon weapon like that tat to his smiting hand handl handA A dally daily daly paper which he could wield wied In driving the devil devi from the te meld field And Ad he grabbed bd the agent of ot true tu reform As A the te hungry hun bird grabs gb the te early wor I IThe The sat st In his chair char His Hi pale ale lips moving meting as a If in prayer pryer And in his bis eyes an a unusual light That in worldly ordly optics optic presages preg fight fht I He rise to his pious feet tee But returning hed find fod a pus tack tc In his seat seat And the look on the devils face so S grim Seemed saying We Ve wont vont do a a thing Sm to I him There want a lamb In his Ids bloomin flock fock But had happened in just juat ot have a talk And to tell teU him how bow the religious press presa pre Should be handled haled to make it a grand success A score of poets pt both beg hes he and ad abcs Had hopped around arund him like pesky fleas And had read productions of every over p kind That could mind spring as a weeds wees from 0 uncultured uncultured I I I I I I I Communications of monster size size Enough to paper the te arching skies Were piled pied before him lm and Sie Sister Grubb Had waltzed around with a club Because the printer had hd said sd that tat she Had feet like a mammoth of old oid when he Had written it I plain and in I letters lete bold hold That gold her faith fait pan was wa like a mountain of ot The Te printers Plug were swearing and chewing And Ad the foreman oft to a a hidden Jug jUt Retired to brace himself for the change In handling copy to him so s strange s e eYet Yet all aU moved on in a tangled wy way Till Tl the te hour of noon non on the t second day dy When Wen a tough from Bitter Biter Creek hit ht the floor for And Ad proceeded to make an unChristian roar Is you de sanctified editor Hey Is you de guy gy dats aman de play To run rn dis shop like a a meets house houe Is you de mouse moue Dat dares dames daes to squeak o 0 morality To 0 a a gang o 0 gentlemen such suc as a me Git Gt ready redy to die Ie fur fu Im rm yam yar ya to t help hel You over de river you pious whelp heir Then the te preacher rose ros and peeled his coat cot And Ad shook his beard like a William goat got And Ad hand band grabbed a chair char in his hs righteous And Ad sent that tough to the te sulphur land landd I And d kicked the te devil bout ten tan feet fet high And Ad the te foremans for mans face knocked into pi I And Ad press pre licked the te printers and smashed the te And pied the te forms fors in an awful mess Then flew few home in excited mood And Anc sought for his closets solitude Where ere his soul sul in prayer pryer he upward poured And Ad Lord squared himself hisel we hope hop with wit the te And Editor Hustler Huster lit l his hi pipe And Ad resumed his chair char with wt a troubled And sadly The time Is i ripe But the man for fr the te 4 caston caslen hat riz rp |