Show STOLEN THUNDER It was raining heavily when Parson Surplus Eel in crossing the street meta met-a poorlyclad boy t whose lethes were soaked U My dear little boy why dont you get an umbrella 1 said the kindhearted kind-hearted clergyman Sure pa has quit going to church he never brings home any more nmbr lJasTexax Siftings Mrs Jteplde Arent you going to join us after the bag this moraing Tom Mr Rapide who does not believe in his wifes infatuationThanks no dear Ive got to stay at home and doa do-a little sewing TidSits A Serious Affair Naval Secretary Uncle Sam those Canadians are simply insulting Uncle faam Eh What are they doing They are laughing at our navy U Humph Tell them we consider our navy no laughing matter and theyd think so too if theyd had to pay for itQmaha World So youve been out west he queried of citizen who returned the other day Yes Lots of snow out there Millions acres I was snowbound on a train fifteen hours There were twentytwo ballet girls in my car And your wife was with you 7 U Alas I yes Great Scot but how you must have Buffered Detroit Free Press Chicago CitizenSee hereUncle Sam What are you booming Duluth so for Uncle SamI havent done anything for Duluth except to establish a big hh hatchery there Thats just what we are complaining about Why didnt you start it at Chicago Chi-cago Well you see I was afraid the fish would evolute into whales or some other sort of blowersOmaha World Can you send the patrol wagon up to No Sill Blank Street 7 inquired a voice through the police telephone the other day Whats the matter Some one tapped the till of my grocery gro-cery of 30 cents Are you holding him 7 I uNo he has been gone half an hour I Then what good will the wagon do 7f Well it will get out and look like business wont it I sell for cash and my prices are lower than ever before Iowa ManI dont see what you came away out here for Why didnt you settle in Iowa 7 e Nebraska ManWhat for Such a great State you know UIn what way Well for one thing Iowa has more miles of railroad track than any other State except one uOh I well it covers a big lot of ground and it j is cheaper for the roads to go through it than around it Omaha World t A citizen of Detroit who is very im aeinative recently attended a banquet When he went home at an early hour in tne morning he attempted to describe the scene to his wife loIn the center of the table he said there were two superb lyres What became of the other one7 asked his wife as she opened one eye to its full width Detroit Free Press |