Show THE LIME KILN CLUB The Subject of Honesty Discussed by Vfaydown Bebce and Elder Toots After tho reading of the minutes of tho last meeting and other routine business Brother Gardner stated that ho had been asked to secure an expression of opinion on the question Does It Pay to bo Strictly Honest He would call upon Sir Isaac Wal pole as tho oldest member first I war in hopes dat queshun would nebber cum up in die club said tho old veteran in reply It art a quesbun which has caused mo many sleepless nights an which 1 hen nebber bin able to settle to my own satisfack shun On ono occashun I found a wallet indo in-do road It contained S30 an when I restored re-stored it to do owner ho handed mo all do money an thanked me besides On several other occashuns I hen found wallets and spent 52 worth of time huntin up do owner an bin rewarded mid 10 cents A grocer once gin me a 10 dollar bill fur a SL I handed it back an ho gin mo half a pound of tea Do very next week I gin him a 5 bill fur a S 2 an ho kept it an swore dat I was a liar If I buy meat do butcher works mo or less bone in on me continued tho old man If I buy wood or coal it ar alias a loathe short I expect do dry goods man to cheat me mo1 or less an de hatter an1 shoemaker doan allus stick to facks If I war strictly honest I reckon I should land in do poohouso in about a year I doan advise any ono to be dishonest but it ar1 my opinyun dat if you find a pug dog mania around do streets ho should be taken homo and tied up to do bed post until somo ono advertises a liberal reward an no queshuns axed Waydown Bebeo then spoke as follows Dar was a time when I waS so strictly honest dat ober fifty of tho nayburs chickens used to roost in my back yard o nights At do same time dem nsyburs borrowed money of nio an dun forget to pay it back an if 1 left a spado out doahs ober night it was gone in do mawnm If owed a debt I ached togo to-go en wako do man up at midnight an pay him If I found half a dozen lead nickels in my change I melted em up fur bullet to shoot cats If I diskivered ten cents on do floah in do postoffice I handed it to do postmaster post-master I practiced dis course fur fio long years an doorin dat time I not only run behind be-hind 1000 but I heard myself spoken of on all sides as a greenhorn a pancako an an idiot I finally decided to chango In five years I has picked up ober 2000 am out of debt an grocers an butchers send to my house and solicit my trade When you ax mo if it pays to bo strictly honest 1 mus reply re-ply dat it dontnot by a jug full Elder Toots was then called upon and ho sniJIf If dar am any one pusson in Detroit who has had chicken fur dinner any oftener dan I hey I should like to see his photograph an yin whar am do pusson who daro stan up an say I steal chickens I used to bo strictly honest If I found a cent in do road I went whoopin up an down to find an owner If a d 23 lost dog crept under my house to be taken Leer of until advertised I drovo him out an let l do man neat doah get do money I not only paid the houso rent on the day it was due but made all repairs out o my own pocket I run right down hill an by an by I woko up to find da old woman out I o taters flour meat sugar tea and eberything else cept Rough on Rats an two bars o soap whilo my toes war out to Jinuary weather On dat samo niornin as I was gwino down town I heard ono man say to another Say Jim see dat pussoa Ho ar do fool nigger of Detroit If ho had a quarter wid a holo in it ho would from it in do ribber fur fear of accidentally passin1 it off on a millyonary Dat sot moo mo-o thinkin Dat very night I stole a lot of wood three chickens a bag taters an a pair of butes an I hen prospered ebcr since I specks it will be a lectio harder on mo when 1 cum to do gates of heaven but I am dole powerfully well down yero below an increas in my fat ebery dayDetroit Fri Press |