| Show I I MR SEOOFEXDTKE I HOTT HIS SPOUSE FITTED HIM OUT FOR A DUCK HUNTING EXCURSION Say my dear said Mr Spoopen dyke gently cant you pack a valise va-lise for me Specklewottle and I are going duck hunting now that the other fellows are all home Oh my I equealed Mrs Spoop endyke dropping her crazy quilt in all directions Promise me you wont take a 2unJJ Whats the matter with the woman wo-man inquired Mr Spoopendyke 1 losing his cheerfulness and eyeing his i wife critically A gun what dye I spoae wed do with guns No we take salt Mrs Spoopendyke salt I say and we rlimb trees and lay it on I their tails Were after thr breed of ducks that roost in treetopa like a dod gasted owl Understand I Oh murmured his wife resuming resum-ing her effort of working forgetme note with green silk That is much nicer and then they wont be fall of little bullets like thoso you bought last week But be caret ul if it snows and come home The paper Bays Dod gaB what the paper Bays snorted Mr Spoopendyke With your knowledge of the weather and the icienoe of gunnery you only need less intellect and a little more pocket money to be a whole signal service ButBee here did your paper say anything about A gifted female getting her husbands value packed ty he next presidential election elec-tion Certainly dear U responded Mrs Spoopendyke lugging at the huge bag her husband brought in and finally placing it on the table Now what will you take fake roared Mr Spoopendyke take he repeated as the enormity of his wifbg obstinacy and ignorance began to dawn upon him Just put me up a swallowtail coat end a Reaped Re-aped edition chuck ia a linen duster and prayer book remember prayer book aDd trot a measly old hymnbook hymn-book These daci were alter are all of the English church and wont stand any fooling on the articles of fa QTbats Thats right he yelled as his obedient wife jammed down tbe drees coat thats the kind of a wife Dont suppose those duoksll oe anymore any-more impressed by my appearance in a hunting coat Dont imagine for an instant that those oirds mill know the difference between Spoop endyke with frozen ears and a straw hat and all those trap Ive wasted wealth on to Drotect my health And youll need your new slippers slip-pers continued Mrs Spoopendyke medatively her finger on her lips and your new tie with polka dots Youve hit it now I yelled Mr Spoopendykespringing up like a ball i i Youve got it Im going out to a well entertainment These ducks are going to give a New England dinnerand Henry Ward Beecher and I are going tD make speeches on the advancement of duck and the evolution evolu-tion of fowl bay Mrs Spoopendyke continued her husband dropping into a ferocious calm do you think those ducks are giving a German out in tbe swamps or indulging in Italian opera in the marshes ot Long Island Well theyre nol and theyre not giving a measly church poci I ablE either Consequently Mrs Spoopendyke Ill be forced to ask you to pack that receptacle as I shall dictate 11 and Mr Spoopendyke flung himself into a obair and glared while his wife proceeded to pack under un-der his instruction Where are you going to put that he demandedas his wife carefully care-fully folded his shootingcoat Why here in tbe bottom because be-cause No you dont interrupted Mr Spoopendyke I Rant that on top where it will be handy andwhat are you doing with tbatJ he ejaculated ejacu-lated as Mrs Spoopendyke picked up a box of cigars Why dear Ill put these at the bottom and the lighter articles Not if Spoopendyke is in full parr session of his faculties I want that and my bottle of brandy on top in casn of accident Think I am going to ash forty days and forty nights as did the prophet of old for those necessities of life Think lam going to perch all night in a tree like a dod gasted woodcbuck just because you wont put my clothes where I can find them Butmy dearpleadedMre Spcop endyke they cant all go on top Cant eb bawled Mr Spoopen I dyke leaping from his chair i Cant have my own duds where theyll protect pro-tect me from the wintry blasts and he commenced playing football with his wifes quilt Bring me the measly idiot that said a man was a king in his own castle and he made a new departure depart-ure in spatter work as Mrs bpoopen dykes inkstand struck the wall Show me the relic of the stone age that claimed a woman was born to comfort and command and last in the procession trot out the dodgaeted fool hat first trusted a woman to pack a valise and Mr Spoopen dykes apparel described circles like a jugglers ball as he plunged into bed and buried his head in the pillow I donc care muttered Mrs Spoopendyke trying on her new jersey J jer-sey hes a great deal better off at home and that big bag wjll be nice when I go to visit mother I |
