Show ME AND KERMIT and In Africa Told by Shorty Ferris Ferri Washington Star Str Shorty Ferris Feri mighty hunter turtle chaser of Anacostia has ba issued a statement Following closely upon the te announcement of the Roosevelt Rosevelt African hunting party pa and dealing with wih that subject subject he voices voice the te views of the east eastern est ester ern er em branch on this expedition 01 I see Beo said sid Shorty last night night that the Smithsonian is fitting out the te huntin trip Id Id like to know what that bunch knows about abut hunting huntin I was there at the in and only And all al I saw sawwa was wa a lot of crawfish and butterflies stuck on pins pis If I it I is true tre as a in the pa papers paper pens pers per that the te retiring administration intends intend to t refresh itself by a year yer in the jungles jungle of ot the dark con continent continent then acord In to my way of have a fine time shoot in grasshoppers with putty blowers blower I 1 read r by the papers that tat the president pr president dent says to his men Me le and Kermit will wi do the Me and Kermit will wi do the te work work Me le and Kermit will wi give out the days days huntin results result to the of ot the Asso Press They tell tel me also that the tlc British has ha offered to give Mr Rosy velt vel a free tr huntin license ge An It I seems that the English have a title tite on nearly evry lot In Africa barrin barnin barn a afew afew few tew that the Boers Boer reserve for their own use The Te president has ha refused the gift gi and pays two huner and fifty dol dollars dollars dollars lars for tor a license to shoot shot two elephants two two o them rhino things two camels camelO two two two gum gm waddles waddle two two two wo and ad about bul eighteen more mor pair of the te things I 1 ever heern heer tell tel of Think of or it I He pays pys two and fifty good American dollars dolar to the king bless blesa bles im fer the privilege of gettin a shot at a bunch o 0 freak frk animals that aint got gt no market In any butcher store in the district or any other place An this Is how run r the hunt acor In to my way of ot They will wi be sleep In some fine mornin under underneath underneath neath neth the shade she o 0 the tho luscious banana tree tree as the songs has ha it It when all aU of a loo hear the cry cr of a bunga that that pa Kermit will wi say suddenly grabbing the telephoto ap apparatus and to the beast from a distance pro he hp can cn snap him before out of ot focus And all al the time his fath father er will iU be the pages of Wild Wid Animals I Have Met Met a nice little pocket reference for huntin h by cons Its Is the roar of a gamboge Kenny Keny is the reply of the executive Beggin your pardon sir says the government borrowed from the department of fer fur the trip Its Is a bungalo I say sy so is Ig the snappish re reply reply ply Kenny Keny I believe bele the is perfectly harmless unless he Is dis disturbed disturbed disturbed In the act of going to sleep Hes natures own policeman An with wih this witticism he leads the expedition They steal stel through the te brush Leastwise they call cal it I brush in the books Weeds Weds is what wha wed call can canI It I over on the eastern eer branch As the hero of ot San Juan Hill ml ad advances advances vances with wih his hi rifle carried ced in a position approved approve by the editor of the Outlook Kenny Keny takes fourteen snapshots of the theman theman theman man from every ever possible position all aU of them that tat he h wore a fearless ferles look at the time The two stenographers from the White house are hard hardat at It It as a Mr Rosvelt dictates his Im irn Impressions at the time timeA timeA A little bit bi o 0 side money mone at a dollar doUar a word wor It I Is like this On one occasion when I was walk walkIng walking alk Ing through the worst jungle I ever eer en encountered encountered countered I came faco fac to face with wih the most violent my whole ex experience experience had yet brought to my atten attention attention tion ton He was more mor dangerous than a certain certai class clas of malefactors referred to toby toby toby by me on several sevel occasions and occupied pied an evil evi eminence secondly only to that of the editor eitor of tho the New York Sun SUIt Sun And then follows a fine description d of ot as mild mid a as ever was wa painted pante on an Easter Eater picture picure card only Its no by the time the te newspapers get the story a a beast bt snore more mor wonderful than the and more mor dangerous than a in inspect ur They hey shoot shot the poor por little thing and Kenny Kermy Keny gets a of oC it It which by skillful can cn be made to portray porty an animal of malicious habits adin all al the elements of propriety in regard to atac people Then one of the Smithsonian people climbs a tree tr e and throws the carcass at the main man guy who alms aims his rifle at atIt atIt atit It It Kenny Kermy Keny gets another which he will 11 send to Weekly in exchange for tor 20 and ad which will wU prove to Its Is 50 readers reader that the ten ter terrible te nible beast best was in the act of on Mr r when he was wa kilt and wa that If IC the bullet bulet had slipped Mr lr Taft would be no more mor cablegrams from Lake Le Victoria Nyanza Nyanza I see too that Mr Ir Humphrey Humphry of the house of representatives has ha put his hisO hisO I O 0 K on the gun Mr 11 will wi carry cr with him Hes v a brave man an that Humphrey Suppose now some mornin Mr Mc M takes a shot at a as It I skips across acoss the sands and ad the bullet bUet dont hit hi him When Wen the news newspaper newspaper newspaper paper reporters who are busily bu ly engaged engg in tellin the truth despite all al send word back bak that the is st sUI stil 11 alive ale what hat will wi happen to Representative Humphrey Hell Hel bo ho 0 taken off of the Blue Book Hell Hel be bo arrested areste If he dares das set foot fot In fn Inthe Inthe the White house houte grounds Hell HeU be the hero her of ot another phrase as classic as a the short and ugly word wor epigram Hell HeU be the charter member of an entirely new bunch of undesirables And the only thing left lef open to him will wi be to try tr to cause a split In the ranks hi in I 1912 Some fine mornin Kenny Kermy Keny will wi come Into camp lugn a great gat a abst boast that weighs all al of or two pounds a voice olee familiar to 0 of people will wi cry cr And the te stenographers stenographers raphers wilt will wi wait for tho the to tobe tob tobe be pronounced But to be dis disappointed disappointed appointed b they the are ar b di Kenny Kerm my boy 0 youre a wonder wonderful ful shot No father Im Im no shot sot I Dont Dot be bashful my boy by I can cn sc see s the evidence of your inherited prowess pwe I ay y youre oure a wonderful shot But nut I shoot soot him father I slipped and fell feU on hm him And the te stenographers will wU have haYe to totO I tear tO up their notes |