Show PHILOSOPHY UP A STUMP Gastronomic Inquiry by a South Carolinian Not Easy to Answer A correspondent In tho the republic of South Carolina unaware perhaps that tho the first week In November is 18 a busy time In newspaper new paper offices favors us with the following appalling conundrum conundrum conundrum drum Which dish or victual do you con consider consider sider elder the best bost A bots bets that the finest Onest in tho world is 18 Smithfield ham and fried hominy B D on the contrary contrat says that Bismarck herring In Rhino Rhine wine has them all knocked knocke out Which wins And why We confess without shame that we are unable to answer answer r this riddle off ort offhand offhand hand It is I so 0 complex eo so vast BO so com complicated complicated complicated by obscure and Impalpable con considerations of personal per taste Inherited prejudice environment habit ant and idiosyncrasy that we despair of deal dealing dealing ing with it oven enen crudely in a 0 few para porn paragraphs paragraphs graphs To treat it exhaustively ant antin and andIn in a n manner to satisfy mUsty the critical sense would require the united efforts of or a 0 large larro corps of psychologists and statis statisticians working day and night for many years Testimony would havo have to tobe tobe tobe be taken token in twenty languages and In a hundred countries and the tho libraries s archives public records newspaper files flies and ond mortality returns of ot the whole world would have havo to be searched An lIn Analyzed aled and reduced to mathematics mathematical formulae If It y represents the maxi maximum maximum mum lure of ot hog and hominy and z a the psychic pull pun of herring then y yz z equals x and it is the tile purpose of the problem to determine whether x is a n minus quantity or a 0 plus pius quantity We are a n sorry figures but if It all goes well we shall tackle the equation Our modest attempt t at ot a n solution will be published in the Ute issue of November 2 a 1950 beginning in the third column of page pago 2 and running thence over all the intervening pages gOll to the bottom of the sixth column of or page 16 Meanwhile wo e can an only urge our cor respondent to take the controversy calmly and to guard against There too vio via violent lent mode modo of ot disputation Is Ie In Indeed oed deed much to bo be said on both sides In Inthe Inthe the he actual presence of ot hog and hominy the he most perfect Bismarck herring ever ewer dredged up from the keg pales a It vapid and insipid fish Osh but let the tho stage settings bo ho right for herring let the time ime for example be bo a winter evening with tho the wind roaring outside and a 11 mug of ot the proper solvent on the table and tho the herring wilt wil 11 make an nn Irresistible ble le appeal to the emotions It was not Idly that the great Bismarck fish woo was named after tho the greatest ot or Germans It is without doubt tho the boss of or all aU her herrings herrings rings rInes dead or alive In it sea ileA food reaches the empyrean heights of or poetry But Bul stay tay Do herrings and hominy sum Gum up the tho whole art of ot eating Are there here no other Braised duck cold slaw sauerkraut stewed mushrooms soft crabs lentil soup Irish stew goulash rabbit pie haggis spaghetti planked shad buck buckwheat buckwheat buckwheat wheat ako k all an of or these superb viands raise ralso their still small voices Are we to forget them The enormous of or the whole Inquiry we hope is III apparent by hy now Its end is not to be reached In Ina Ina ina a day Sa or a year ear It demands learning experience a subtle palate and an austere aus austere austere tere Intellect In a word the Judicial mind plus a philosophers passion for baffling enigmas and complicated pro processes processes processes of ot ratiocination Baltimore Sun |