Show F t WASHINGTON II I WITS DID NOT f fl Mj SPARE GUESTS Dinner Complimentary ary to o the T I New Administration Given h by Gridiron Club H I PRESIDENT TAFT AMONG 1 ft THOSE IN ATTENDANCE E W i iI I HUMOROUS SKITS AND SHARP i HITS AT EXPENSE OF THOSE I 1 IN OFFICIAL LIFE i F Ill IllG 4 fi Washington April 17 The broiler of t t the Gridiron club etab that famous organization organization f T of newspaper er men was wu kept i I I busy buB tonight serving up wit and hu humor I C fl mor inor at a special dinner complimentary n tI I j to the new DeW administration The dinner jiL Ii was given n in the banquet hall hail of the d i New Willard i iCare Care was AU taken that men prominent I in the public eye got t all ail that was wu com corn coming I w 1 ing to tIm them In to UtI WilY way of thrusts and J jibes anti ana and the great assemblage was in ina I I 1 rj a constant uproar 1 Of course coone President Taft Talt was AS there thereas as were ere Speaker Cannon members of or the cabinet and the diplomatic corps jJ senators sen tors and representatives men mt n high 1 1 I in the industrial and financial world t and many others othera of distinction In the j ti absence ab enee of eC President Henry Hall who fj j jIs is just recovering fr ln a long illness Ff l t President Pre Scott C Bone of the Wash Washington q i ington Herald presided Beginning of the Fun t t f The onslaught on on the banquet room t began when the Hub clubs b n 1 dinner bell announced that everything I Iwas was ready As soon as 8 the Ute diners were seated the room was thrown into dark dart darkness f i ness noes white while a musical l welcome was ex extended extended extended tended to the distinguished guests I IThen Then rhen the mammoth electric gridiron flashed Into view the lights were i turned on throughout the room and ana the fun commenced t Almost the first thing to greet the th 1 1 t x xII guests II was a handbill distributed by T speedy messenger me boys announcing f that thre th would be a great minstrel show by allstar performers including vocalists comedians and arid cabinet of officers t i This was the hit of the evening f fIn In true minstrel fashion with all the accompaniments of dusters du ten and a more or less leu discordant band this troupe of club talent eat paraded through the halt hall before bet re on n the stage om R ef W 30 i t to te te tIle t nang fill F tile the CUU staff ta i it together t with w a special note by the t management H which called attention to what wag wa to come an aid JIt with the in injunction r f junction that there be ho no 1 i iThe flowers The Opening Song Eating BRUne Through Georgia Geo was the opener and it ran like this thia tb Sound SouD the good old dinner horn well sing another nother song About the tile trip that Taft once made when 7 with digestion strong He ate his hili share abare of or overs f thing that they theT tf f would bring along p pM As M we went eating through Georgia t j jt je t We e tackled the um that they took care to bake We Ve ate canned ca ned watermelons and a dish S they the called hoecake i We draw the line Imp lin at alligator steak As we went eating through Georgia By southern ho our hearts were re surely von yon I 0 And ADd we re oled ly d to do th lh very best beat that could be lone fione For Democrats and ancI so we e saved aved some f pie pic for fw Dickinson DIdd I As Aa we went through Georgia And the th chorus Well Wen it would grate grata at aton on the nerves of a hungry man if he ho h i heard thee the words Hurrah hurrah w w the jubilee hurrah fr tine fins T Tt t f t tW We W put away thi th f o imai mais a 8 day rt y yAnd And throe three tima thres th AK As we went eating through Georgia Dead Literature Then there enid some lively ply con oon on onu b tw n 11 flu th middle men who J pi sed as the vi ic r si an and the speaker of tho hue huf and the cabi cabinet I net t officers vh h composed ed th the bal hal anee of if the Aft r a good deal of Ut sparring over oer er what as all the mean meaning tug Ins of o ad literature and ani whether t t referred referd to aL rit or Aztec At the tho end men declared lared it to be the presidents I Ident dents dent message m f J Say SA Mr lr Vice VIC President a member of the abir t inquired do you re remember remember member the morning when alt sll mo boilers boiler b blew up and seared scared a lot t of oC tL c people Oh yes I J remember n mem it t but I 1 do d not see why hy it should have 4 Continued on Page 2 i I I I WASHINGTON WITS DID DI NOT SPARE GUESTS Continued from 1 scared noise ar rod anybody it 1 was wag merely a n bi bi DeY De Yes Yen Y that tbt was en s it tt Everybody thought t Mr Roosevelt Roo cit had bl come b ek Please Plea leave the dear dr oM old o trust trusa tr atone alone aln they t the are a seeing things at night DIght was wan a the title of o a song by James Jarne Jat Henry HeBr of the t a Fret Free Fr Press the thc t wonderful soft pedal pal bari baritone b tone R in which the t trusts tt o Attorney Atoy General that they tey were tired t and sleepy spy too to ana ano an appealed appal to him to put them Um tn to their little beds bes Secretary Sereta MacVeagh was al classed among the th varieties of Democrats and reformers Who hao hai ha great difficulty l In tn remembering when registration day dy came cm around arond This Thi was cut ct short by some sonic ref references references ere to the tariff which it i was stat stated state stated ed e wa S being Ing talked taked pro and eon con rn Indeed remarked the tho vice vici t pres president pr ident with it evident surprise Con for the Consumer Yes Yea Ye replied the th end nl man pro means mens for the trusts Con is i what wha th 1115 consumer Cumer gets et The Th White house tow cow now nW alread famous fu was made the th subject of or ore one on of o the tho best beet bet stunts of the tl evening At Attended tended by b a dairy dail maId maM rk a of o tile the tb bovine bine was wa led le into inu the Ue room r The T president prent was al In Informed formed farmed fre that while hie there th had h been a lot lotof Jt lotof of loose lo talk about abut the possum bing blag liD th ad administration administration the te animal emblem of ot the present ministration and that the th Teddy bear br was ws one OAe of my policies that hart hail hl been b inherited it i was wa an all nonsense The emblem eble of this th administration wd sad Rc the animals keeper is w the cow cowand co coaRd cowand and aRd this 1118 is It ItI it It I was discovered dl ve that the milk pall pail pl was wa minus the lacteal fluid fu and a in tI ItS it stead sted were r found fond numerous articles arile among which was wa a bottle tagged te with witha to tolt a testimonial lt from Senator A Aldrich Id rich as follows We Ve re used this thi medicine on the tar tart ff ue bill bl and aM removed all al Payne from fm it in instantly instantly stanty The T pail pi was wa being bing emptied of it its contents when in rushed a member who impersonated Castro Cutro and who de demanded de demanded a place pl of or refuge rug There h Is ii nothing nth g we e can do for you Mr Jr Castro Cut you 10 must mut ma go 8 was wu the tlE an answer anser answer ser to his 1 appeal but lt the U excited excie South th American persisted and it was waa W decided det to t let IH him take care n of the cow eow eo Burlesque Uncle Tom TomA A burlesque on Uncle oJ Toms Cabin was wu a funny stunt Eliza Eis was as depict depicted ed e as a fleeing feeing across the ice Ic holding in I and her arms ans two children Maximum Maxium Minimum wrapped In the th tariff bill Wll billand and pursued by b the howl bwl o 0 the gray gry wolves of or the tho senate senate A miniature wire basket which served as the congressional waste basket besket was wat I the tle souvenir of the dinner and Into IRo it were dropped at intervals various things which were supposed to represent sent papers that are ar liable lible to find their way wa pp into such um a receptacle A cold storage receipt of oC a local beat lol company had this written on it I Received Rele from Frank Frnk Hitchcock Hitch k eighteen crates and Ae five barrels con containing c taming T R It policies Storage for eight years yeans year from fr date Value alo asked akel but lut Indignantly refused reused Marked slightly damaged With Wih all aU the Ute formality of an a executive e C tive Ue session of the senate the t nomina nominations nol tl of Thomas Th C Ney of o the Ute Washington Star Str and l Os Oscar ar K Davis D of or the New ew York Times T for fo member membership membership ship In the club were revel naG ami a confirmed b bt but t not until the th two to seared a candidates can had hd been Men subjected to 10 a ar rigid r kl as to their ther I opinions of those tho prevent present nt and an matters matter in general genel Enjoyed by Taft President Taft Tat enjoyed eye to 1 the linth the darts dr directed at himself and his hia h cabinet members Indeed Ine there ther were few Cew If I any who did di not nt get placed pa on the gridiron The Tie speakers were President Taft Taft Secretary Dickinson Speaker Sper Cannon Senators Sento Taylor of or Tennessee TenD and ad Chamberlain of Oregon and Governor Marshall of or Indiana Among the guests get were The Th o president Sl dent det of the Ute United te the th Brt ambassador the tp Swiss minister Sen Senators n atom ator Aldrich AMrich Beveridge Bomb Borah rab Car Carter Carter ar artel ter tel Chamberlain Guggenheim GUJ el K Kean an Oliver r Scott Smoot Sutherland Warren Secretaries BUnger Dickin Dickinson n Postmaster Gen General G Nagel son 8 n a el Wilson I Potter orals eral Hitchcock Attorney Atty General Genrl Baron Bron L L I Ambrosey Aus AO Alden J T Seat Seattie S Seattie I Iti tie ti Joseph Carlos Canoe Crl Rodrigues Journal of o Commerce Commer Rio Ro de Janeiro Charles Charle H Boyton Royton BOYtoR New Xe York John Barrett director bureau American Amen re me republics 1 publics Morgan Jr Ro Re R postmaster r general rl of Canada L 1 Nuttings Southern Pacific Rear Hear Admiral Admirl Sperry SPI Fred Fre dent W Carpenter secretary to the th president pr |