Show Gold Fish Famine Herek Here k t c 1 P P g And Julius He Is Dead By Bv R Whit hit hip Burnett INCE Irvin Cobb attacked tho the members members mem- mem memI I 0 bers of ot the tho newspaper profession when ho told the world that on his last lecture tour the tho reporters allowed him about as much privacy as a n. goldfish I 1 have haYe been drawn with a 1 strange kind kIndor of or attraction to this unique creature I mean tho the goldfish not Mr l Cobb I recall how even as a careful c. youth I used to sit for Cor hours contemplating tho the peculiar antics of our tam family 11 fish HIs Hla name was wag Julius Ho occupied a 3 most dignified position on tho the organ org And he s sported at about out in his fIno glass bowl with the green castle in It It disdaining dis dis- daining all tho the world Ho lie never complained he never nc quarreled quarreled with any of us And nd wo were allwell all aU allwell aUwell well satisfied that Julius was enjoying himself first rate until one morning morning- we awoke to find him flopped over in his bowl with his pale little stomach facing the ceiling completely useless asan asan as asan I an ornament from that time on We c burled him carefully and threw tho the bowl at tho the cat Since Julius has left the family tamn hearth my observations of at the gold goldfish fish Jah have havo been limited Time was once I know when every family that amounted to anything had its goldfish and some families had two t But times But times have changed To own a goldfish these days das is an uncommon thing The goldfish Is not out ont of or Cashion fashion fash Cash ion so much as ho he is scarce You just first cant can't get em as easily a as you OU could Such was tho the startling information divulged In Salt Lake Loko yesterday Tho The birth rate among goldfish Is not only rapidly declining It is said but the ImpOrtation Importation importation Im Im- has hns fallen ot off and pretty soon unless something somethIng- drastic Is done there thero wont won't be any goldfish left leU in the tho country to sit and wonder at on dull rainy Sunday afternoons I have havo often octen wondered what a 3 goldfish gold Sold fish thinks about They seem scorn the calmest kind of or fishon fish fishon on the market unless you stop to consider consIder consider con con- sider the dried herring You Yon will rarely rarely rare rare- ly ly If ever find a 1 dried herring excited about anything Yet a goldfish on occasion will certainly show vague emotions E y m oti o. o ns Take Julius for instance He was on old-fashioned old goldfish nothing fancy about him no pretensions But ho he just couldn't stand the tho sight ht of a cat I thought it was affectation But our old Thomas was the death of or Julius und and I understand from goldfish experts in the city that this unfortunate and widespread widespread widespread wide wide- spread weakness has not changed to date You would think a goldfish accustomed l I tomed as he ho is to tho public eye eo would snap his fingers at a n mere cat cat- This I I is not the case caso A goldfish when approached approached approached ap ap- by a 3 maltese tom torn Cheshire or tabb tabby will moro usually snap his tall and kick the bucket This seems to be bo one paramount thought ht occupying tho the attention of ot all good goldfish It is needless to say that he Is not concerned with the high h cost of or living living liv liv- lIv 1 ing Ing- or buying shoes for tor his family Camil I since he is usually a n. bachelor or an old maid and food tood Is furnished dall dally by the tho Levana liko Le lIke ana hand who bought him G Goldfish when and where you can bu buy em are scandalously high hiSh this I spring The Tho fantails from Japan are arriving on tho the local market In mere I dabs when they arrive a at all nU and the common fish tIsh from the east pos possessed sed sedi i of or nothing nothing- more showy than Anglicized d tails t. are arc not reaching Ing local stores with their invoices We havo have been beon promised goldfish g for tor weeks and weeks said aid an official Inthe in inthe inthe the Bane Bailey Sons company Importers yesterday but because of cold weather and other adverse conditions in tho the east wo tiro aro are not receiving our shIpments ship shIp- ments Goldfish are Lr more serious rious subjects than the layman would Imagine In transit they require fresh water dall dally daily and this necessitates a n. regular goldfish attendant t on land and sea When they reach the local stores the they aro placed in running water tanks and treated with tho the utmost care until they are arc doled out to an ea eager public Tho The buyer must keep the little animal animal animal ani ani- mal out of range of ot cats and drafts and change chang the water every ever morning Otherwise the goldfish gets dIscouraged discouraged discouraged aged and passes away The death rate among goldfish b cause because of careless caretakers is enormous If It there were were goldfish undertakers it Is said they would be wealthy in a week |