Show l THE DAYS DAY'S GOOD i il I l STORIES Jv v J MedIcal Ic Irol Skill HE eminent specialist looked tho the T THE patient over Yes ho he said ald what you ou need Is a gradual gain In muscular tissues Go Goat Goat Goat at It elow slowly Commence by lifting a a. pound ton weight Add to this from time to time until you can raise fifty pounds with comparative e ease ense Then come to me again Tho The patient hesitated hesitatE I guess he said you aint gettin mo me quite right The Tho specialist frowned What hat do you ou mean menn b by that 7 ho he demanded The Thc patient still hesitated Why Vh you see ho said Im tho the feller teller that carries th trunks s downstaIrs downstairs downstairs down down- stairs an heaves em cm into th Ui transfer company's baggage wagon wagon wagon-Cleve- Cleve Cleveland land hand Plain Dealer A Surprise for tOI Jim Tm MISSION worker In Now Orleans A was visiting a 3 reformatory near that cit city not lon lonG r ago when she ob observed observed ob- ob served amon among tho the Inmates an old acQuaIntance acquaintance ac ac- ac- ac a negro lad long thought to be a model of ot integrity Jim exclaimed tho the mission worker work work- er Is It pos possible I find you here blithely responded the backslider Ise lse charged with a barrel of o sweet The visitor FISh d You Jim she repeated I 1 am surprised said raid Jim so 80 was I Tor or I wouldn't be bc here herel Right Bock Back at Him rum T THERE HERE was a young o woman who thou thought ht a good deal about ancestry ancestry an an- an and descent and anel there thero was ayoung ayoung a ayoung young man who thought that all nIl such stuff was snobbish s says ys th the Cleveland oland Plain Dealer The two sat fat out a dance together and the girl mounted her hobb hobby almost at once What was your father tather Interrupted Interrupted interrupted Inter Inter- the young oung man Father was a R gentleman Ha But what dl did ho do for a liv liv- ing lug 7 The young young- man thought that smart but the girl came right back What hat was your father tather she asked Sly My father ath r raised hogs I ceo cee he did But what did l he do for a n. living I Was AVas S Welcome H AYE AVE you an any last lost message to leave leave any any final word to sa say his wife asked as she knelt beside belde his bed There Thero Is Ie one Ma Mary but I think I had lad better say av It to someone else No William m speak It to me rue I cant can't bear to think of ot anyone cl else e hearing your our last words No no dear Let mD whisper mo-whisper whIsper my ray message to tho the doctor or to the minIster minister min rain ister if It ho is hero It would only make mako you ou sad I 1 insist on on knowing what you wish to say You must tell me me only only me Well Yell then if you ou will Ill have havo It I I merely wish to say that I die happy that that I am glad to go Oh William why why wh-why wh h-wh why are you OU glad to go 7 Ill ml miss s h housecleaning this year Chicago Record Herald Ills 1118 Masterpiece T THE HE young young- novelist o had had a tough time of or It it and so had his dear wife She held his talents In po poor por r esteem esteem es- es es- es teem eem and often urged him to tr try something something some Borne thing else for tor she was sometimes hungry hungry hun hun- gry and arid all the tho time Ill III clad But ono one day his luck changed He began to tomake tomako tomake make mako mone money And there came caine a n. da day when ho was able to write his check for tor and pass It to his wife Her eyes filled with tears as she sho read it darling sho she said as sh she hastened around the table and put her arm about his neck Ill take talta back backall backall all the mean things I ever said about our your work This Is the tire best thing you ever wrote wrote Cleveland Cleveland l Plain Dealer An 0 Oratorical Boomerang T THE THE HE inexperienced candidate ha had 1 had hadR hada a bad time He had been se severely se- se verel verely heckled and his temper was at breaking point Gentlemen he said presently in exasperation Herodotus tells us us- us Which side l Is 15 he on 1 camo came a voice olce from rom the crowd But the candidate was determined to o have his sa say sa Herodotus tells u us us ho he went on fIrm firmly I of a whole arm army that was put to o flight b by tho the bra braying ing of oC a single ass g. g Then the crowd applauded and the tile young man thought that at la last t he ho had cored But his triumph was short- short lived ived for again came a 0 voice olce from tho the crowd this time In a n resigned tone Young man It 5 said ld quietly go ahead This army j been tested tested tested- Los Loa Angeles Anc Herald I Untrained J Librarian A A CHICAGO librarian was praising Andrew Carnegie In a 8 recent letter from Mr rr CarnegIe Carnegie Car Car- negie he ended the great capitalist said he always saw to it that the librarians libra rians employed in the Carnegie libraries libraries libraries libra libra- ries had a n good sound knowledge of 01 I literature He added that he didn't want ant any nn- librarian like a Cleveland one to whom om a a. visitor said said- Td Id like to have ha Shelleys Shelley's 8 Prometheus Prometheus theus Unbound It if you 1 please lea re Hm the tile Cleveland eland librarian answered answered an an- loftily we wo dont don't stock Unbound unbound un un- bound books In this library Wash Pash Wash ington Star h Why hy Thc They Arc Are Split t. t SECRETARY STIMSON of 01 the war lj department surveyed the ment possessions nt at Fort Sheridan and pas passed ed the tho old canteen sa says s 's the ChIcago Chicago Chi ChI- cago cage Evening Post ThIs This is 15 a compound compound com corn pound now in which wireless drinks are served also served also food On the outside of the building a n champion of 01 tho republic had written with a piece of or chalk chalks Pigs feet feel 5 cents apiece and 15 IS cents a yard ard Mr Ir was inspired to SR say I never nc have realized before why Pigs' Pigs feet teet arc split it la Ia possible to bu buy a yard ard and a half |