Show THE CONQUESTS OF CONSTA CONSTANCE NCE Switchboard Operator at the tho Hotel Rich BY AL ALMA IA WOODWARD ARD Copyright 1912 b bj- bj Pr Pros lI Co The New cw c York orl World No o 8 S 8 I I. I FAX AX AN theres there's been sixteen J soul-sisters soul here this morning morning- the manager or for tor m mi my Job Constance w was a n. s s I plainly peeved and 1 showed It by ruffling ruffling ruf rut fling her gold locks the matter matter matter mat mat- ter Youre You're not goIng goIng going go- go Ing to be bo fired d. d are you i asked fLY quick quickly Huh I guess gloss t a NOT OT Not 1 as long longas L as as my right lat arm Is able to iu lU sIt sit SH up ana and tal take e nourishment to o help my Jaw out In a tight place I No It aint that But one of them rash h coin collectors from Pittsburgh has hns Just gone one an nn copped another girl Irl fer for his blushing blushing- bride and these simps think that that stunt sort o 0 goes with tho the Job Gee Geel if their ambitions called out b by as many false alse alarms alarms' as mine has boon beon they'd try ry a fane fancy drive ot off Pier 1 as a antidote anti antl- dote dotel I I Disappointments I murmured Disappointments Say The real estate I build m my Fifth my mansions mansions man- man Ions on has quicksand beat to a pulp I dont don't even dream any more This jOb ob is good for eight h t a week weck an a R. fo few ew dizzy donations once In a while whilo from rom a gU guy what's played the market the he right ht wa way But imbibe It from me me mc that's all It IS good fer for an there aint no steam yacht acht nor six cylinder bu cart buzz cart z-cart at the end o of it Dont Don't t I IWho know Who Vho was the eighth disappoint disappoint- men 7 I asked The Fan Ho He was bug all aU right A girl friend amino Introduced me mo to him on the Sixth L one night S n he te asked m me to go o to the game paine with him on Saturday afternoon Nell Well Vell I thought that any anyone ne what asked you you OU right quick like that to anything that cost ost real roal turn out a willing little Ittle gold mine In the run long-run an anI I made up m my mind to nurse It gont- gont h 13 y So I pulled a story sob-story on the manager an nn he let mo me off otto Well VeIl we got up to the tho grounds about bout a year ear year before the gates open pen an an in line in a pon pen It as ss James Hour Henry Heury I an any know I could feel my complexion l leaving ing the tho place where I put it It anI an I I was so Jammed in I x couldn't a got at t m my powder rag if I going g to beThen bo be boI I shot hot the tho next minute Then when the line DID begin to move nove ove I se seen n that the tho window lying duo due north an that was our direction labeled seats Well Yell say I 1 had md a spasm an I says sars to him In a hint Int Do we wo sit In the tho bleachers Cech An he lie says Sure Suro All the REAL fans CAns ans sl sit t there It aint no fun tun In n the grandstand seats seals Well VeIl o o 0 course I had him spotted for tor or a n. ringer er right off oCt but I thought to o ms m's myself lt as long long- longas as I there I 1 might as well go through h with it t I stung tung him for fer a n ice cream cone an an a b big ig ba bag g of peanuts an a lemonade There here l ere ain t nothing more up there you youn en Cn n squander coin on know The game starter started Just when whon the pattern of ot m my peck boo was finished fin fin- Ish shed d bein burnt on m my lily Illy white bosom osom in n shades of 01 Turkey rod red An Anthe Anthe the he comfort that was mine at that moment lomont made marle prickly heat look like a soothing liniment Then the tho Indian In back o 0 me started to bang his feet teet on the floor Ioor an in or e every time he Jle brought ht em cm down hed he'd give he my backbone a gentle masage massa mas- mas sa sage an age nn e an I had on white lingerie How provoking I sympathized But that aint all In the beginning beginning begin begin- ning Ing It a a. pipe that our team had ho tho game g all wrapped In cotton wool a and nd tied for ter delivery and tho feller teller that hat took me began to throw fits You never nover heard such sounds in your life ife as aR come out o 0 his face Then he started to to give awa away his belon belongings just to show what a 0 darned fan tan he I First he ho fired his evening paper On n the tho tI field ld In the fourth Inning he parted from his lid In tho the sixth he kissed kissed his handkerchief g good bye o o dg d- d by o an an anat anat at it tho the beginning of the eighth olg he started to undo his In tour Well ell right there where I Idrew Idrew drew the firing lino An I rew says Bays Cecil this her hor e 1 c c n l. l t T kf sh e pa a n o v ur bath ath bih c even ti though g its it's s giving v n a aA pretty tt good Imitation o o 0 one so ono so please dont don't donto be o so 10 generous with your our outer wrappings wrap- wrap pings Ings s An as soon oon as the game uz over I 1 says sars to him firmly Im sorry but your our back- back nature to-nature turn this afternoon didn't make nake a bit of a a. hit with me an an right heros hero's where we become became strangers as we ve pass by Im I'm savin you a nickel return car fare So dont don't kick dar dar- link I II I raised my brows Yes she retorted quickly short an n sweet Well Im I'm humane Ysee I believe bellec In putting em ern em out o 0 misery quick Oh Im I'm getting getting- to be tho the merr merry little hangman all rl right ht The porous lead of at Professor H. H T. T Hanover of ot the tho Danish Pol Polytechnic high school of Copenhagen Is said to tobe tobe toe be e the result of many years of ot study y yot of ot the problem of 01 accumulator effi- effi lency clency The lead is filled tilled with carl cayl- tIes les so small as to be bo visible only through h a powerful microscope but the they hey diminish weight and the they add so AO much to the surface that It is said storage batteries havo have their capacity increased ed five times without addition to o their size or weight |