Eureka Reporter | 1915-04-02 | Page 6 | New Fable of Susan and the Daughter and the Granddaughter

I 1 7 new fable lif f susan and the daughter and the granddaughter I 1 by GEORGE ADE 11 by mcglure newspaper hynd ca cate once there was a full blown wild V id peach reg estered in the family bible as susan mahaly her pa divided his time between collecting at a toll gate and defend ing the military reputation ot of andy jackson the family dwelt in what was then regarded by cambridge mass v as the twilight zone of sericulture semi culture viz Sw izzett county Pep pennsylvania sylvania susan wore a linsey woolsey from monday to saturday she never had tampered with her venus de milo topography and she did not even sua sue hect that women had nerves when she was seventeen she had a fore arm like a member of the turn verean she knew how to card and weave and dye also she could make loose soap in a kettle out in the open air susan never tell fell down on her salt rising bread her apple butter waa was always al it was commonly agreed that she would make some man a good housekeeper tor for she was never sickly and could stay on her feet sixteen how hours at a stretch already she was beginning to look down the pike tor for a regular fellow in the year 1810 the lass ot of seventeen who tailed failed to get her hooks on some roaming specimen tt the opposite gender was in danger ot of being whispered about as an old maid celli cell bacy was listed with arson and man slaughter kufus rufus was destined to be an early victorian rummy but he could lift a saw log and be he would stand without being hitched so susan nailed him alie third time he came snooping around the tollgate toll gate rufus did not have a window to hoist or a fence to lean on but there is no poverty in any pocket ot of the universe until wealth arrives and begins to get luggy susan thought she was playing in rare luck to snare a six footer who owned a good squirrel rifle and could all comers the hills ot of pennsylvania were becoming congested with neighbors not more inore than two or three miles apart so rufus and his bride decided to hit a new trail into the dark timber and grow up with the boundless west relatives of the young couple staked them to a team of a cow a bird dog ot of dubious an bestry an axe and a skillet and started them over the divide toward the perilous frontier away out yen der in ellinoy it was a hard life As they trun died slowly over the rotten roads toward the land of promise they had to subsist largely on venison pral rie chicken quail black bass ber der ries and wild honey they carried t their e r own coffee 0 ee arrived at the jumping off place they settled down among the mink and musk hats rats rulus rufus hewed out and jammed together a little two by twice cabin with the flue running up the outside it looked ornery enough to be the birthplace ot 0 almost any success tul ful american the anopheles mosquito was wait ing for the pioneers in those good old chills and fever days no one ever blamed it on oil the female ot of the species those who had the shakes al lowed that they were being jarred by the hand of providence when the family ran low on quinine all he had to do was to hook up and drive fifty miles to the nearest town where he would trade the furs tor for necessities such is apple jack and navy twist and possibly a few lux uries such as tea and salt on one of these memorable trips to the store a mood which combined sentiment and reckless prodigality seized upon him he ile thought of the brave woman who was back there in the lonesome shack shooing the prairie wolves away from the cradle and he resolved to reward her with only three gills 0 of r stone fence under the cammus he spread his wild wildcat cat currency on the coun ter and purchased a 6 clock with jigsaw jig saw ornaments a shiny coat of varnish and a bouquet of 0 pink Roses on the door susan burst into tears when she saw it on the wall alongside of 0 the turkey wing and vowed that she had married the best man in the world twenty years later jennie the first begotten chick at the log house in the clearing bad had matured and mar ried and was living at the county seat with hiram money changer and merchant railroad trains side bar dar buggies coal oil lamps and the civil war had come along with a rush and cisar ranged primitive conditions the frontier had retreated away over into kansas in the very township where ot of late the beaver deaver had toiled tolled without hin drance and the red fox dug his hole people were now eating cove oysters and going to see east lynne hiram was in rugged health hav ing defended the flag by proxy dur ing the recent outcropping of aarl mony between the devotees of cold bread and the slaves of hot biscuit the substitute had been perforated be yond repair at the battle of kenesaw mountain proving that hiram made no mistake in remaining behind to tend store when jennie moved in where she could hear the trains whistle and be gan to sport a cameo brooch she could barely remember wearing aslop a slip I 1 and having stone bruises hiram was near but he would loosen up a trifle for his own fireside i the fact that jennie was bis his wife gave her quite a standing with him he admired her for having made such a success of her lite life they dwelt in a two story frame with count countless lees and bobs tacked along the eaves and seal loped around the bay windows the country people who came in to see the eighth wonder of the world used to stand in silent awe breathing through their noses out on the tie lawn surrounded by geraniums was a cast iron deer which seemed to be looking at the court house in a startled manner it was that kind of a court house in her front room the daughter ot of rutus rufus and susan had wonderful wax flowers sprinkled with diamani Di amoni dust a whatnot what not bearing mineral specimens conch shells and a star V v f 0 00 all th the local gallants with cocoa oil in their hair and rings on their cravats backed ante the shrubbery jmwa t the groom wore a swallowtail fish also some hair cloth burnit very slippery and upholstered sand after hiram gave her the black auk and paid for the crayon Enlarge enlargements meal of her parents jennie did not have the face to bone him for anethia more but she longed in la secret d hiram suspected I 1 jennie was a soprano not a rel 3 ular soprano but a country town so soi i of the kind often used tor for aue still the grief at a funeral her voice came from a point about t tw inches above the right eye she had assisted a quartet to do things to juanita and sometime sometimes the tossed out hints about wishing ak could practice at home jennie via we a nice woman but she did need pit pro tice although I 1 ram was tighter th the bark dark of sycamore he liked to have other women envy the ol 01 his children I 1 when he spread himself from a shin plaster be he expected a fan of trumpets it took him a long time to uncil the string from the wallet but ba I 1 would dig II 11 he thought he was boniv ing his own game by stealthy short weighting of tho country trade and holding out on tile the assessor he succeeded in salting away numerous kopecks in one corner et C the safe while in chicago to buy his winter stock he be bargained for two days wu and finally bought a cottage Mel melodean odeca cn with the stool thrown in jennie would sit up and pump nsf hours at a time happy in the knowledge that she had drawn the capita prize in the lottery of hymein in the year 1886 there was so sola church wedding at the county seat beat prances frances daughter of hiram and jes jen nie tile had knocked the town a twitter twister when she came home from the female college wearing bangs and toting a tennis racquet all the local gallants with cocoa oil in their hair and rings on their cravats backed into the shrubbery hiram had bought her about 1605 1 SO worth of hauteur at the select institution of learning all she had to ea 0 was look at a villager through her nose specs and he would curl up lua ilke an autumn leaf A cuss from chicago came to see her every few weeks his trousers seemed to be choking him the pompadour our was protected by a derby of the fried pried egg specie it was the kind that joe weber helped to keep in public remembrance but in 1886 la is was de rigueur au an fait and a la mode frances would load the accursed city chap chip into the high cart and ex hibit him up and down all the rea re dence thoroughfares on nearly every front porch some girl whose father was not interested in the first national bank would peer out through the morning glories at the pageant and then writhe like an angle worm the wedding was the biggest thing that had struck the town since forepaugh stopped over on his way from peoria to decatur frances was not a popular girl on account of being eo so so those who could not fight their ft ay into the church climbed up and looked through the window windows J sae the groom wore a swallow tall most of those present had seen pic turea tures of the dress suit in the fireside companion the gentleman wear ing one always bad had curls and the wood engraving caught him la in the act of striking a lady in the face and saying curse you the feeling at the county seat wag was that frances had taken a des chance the caterer with colored help la in white gloves the ruby punch sua sus pecked of containing liquor the jap anese lanterns attached to the maples the real lace in the veil the glitter ing array ot of pickle jars and a well defined rumor that most of the im ported ushers had been stewed gave the agitated hamlet something to blat about for many and many a day the bachelor of arts grabbed off by the daughter of jennie and the granddaughter of susan was the owner of real estate in the congested business district of a town wh ch came into public attention later on through the efforts of frank chance hie his front name was willoughby but frances always called him dear no matter what she happened to be think ing at the time part ot of state street had been wished on to willoughby he ile was afraid to sell bell not knowing how to reinvest so he sat back and played sate safe with growing delight he watched the unearned increment piling up on ev ery corner he began to see that he would be fairly busye all 11 Ms his life lack jack ing up rents the red brick fortress to which he conducted frances had stone steps in front and a secret entrance for lowly at the rear willoughby and his wife had the high courage of yoi th and the finan cial support of all the money spend ers along state street so they start ed in on period decoration each room in the house was supposed to stand for a period some of them stood for a good deal A few of the periods looked like exclamation points the young couple d the toll gate period and the I 1 og cabin period but they worked in every one of the louies until the gilt furniture gave out the delighted ca ler at the house beside the lake would pass from an east indian corr dor through ghail an early colonial ante room into a japanese boudoir and after resting his hat hot would be escorted into the italian renaissance Renais since drawing room to meet the hostess from this exquisite apartment which ate up one years hent rent of a popular buffet near van buren street there could be obtained a ravishing glimpse of the turkish cozy corner beyond including the battle axes and the red lamp frances soon began to hob bob nob with the most delicatessen circles include ing families that dated back to the fire of 1871 she was not at all dizzy even VV when hen he looked down from the moun tain peak at her birthplace 15 feet below willoughby turned out to be a satis factory his voltage was not high but he always ate peas with noth a fork rork and never pulled at the leash when taken to a musicale in front of each ear he carried a neat area of 0 human ivy so that ho he continued on nest next page could speak up at a meeting of directors until the year 1895 the restrict ed side whisker was an accepted trade mark of commercial probity this facial landscaping the frock coat and a steadfast devotion to 0 toll et soap made hta bin suitable tor for ex hibi tion purposes frances became almost fond of him after the honeymoon evaporated and their romance ripened into acquaint ance ship it was a gladsome jay ay tor for both both 9 when she traced the dope back through county pennsylvania and discovered that she was an honest hones tto to goodness daughter of the american revolution willoughby could not ask a depre tentative senta tive of good old colonial stock to ride around in a stingy coupe with a coon planted out on oia the weather seat I 1 he changed the terms in several leases and was enabled to slip her a hot surprise on the birthday when she came down the steps tor for the usual bowl along the avenue so as to get some fresh smoke she be held a rubber tired victoria drawn 1 by two expensive bang BangT tails alls in jingly harness and surmounted by import ant turks in overwhelming livery she was so fled with delight that she went right over to willough Wll lough by and gave him a sweet kiss after looking about rather carefully tor for the exposed portion of the frontispiece frances did a lot of calling within the next two weeks and to all those who remarked upon the smartness ot the equipage she decla declared that the man she had to put up with carried a throbbing heart even it if he was an intellectual midge in the year 1913 a slender young thing all of whose habiliments seemed melting and dripping down ward came wearily from stateroom B as the train pulled into reno nevada she seemed quite alone except tor for a couple of maids after she had given directions con berning the nine wardrobe trunks and the live stock she was motored to a specially reserved cottage at the corner comer of liberty street and hope avenue I 1 next day she sat at the other side of a table from a lawyer removing the poisoned javelins from her fragilely fra fragile gilel person and holding them up before the shuddering shyster she had a tale of woe woo calculated to pulp a heart of stone in blocking out the affidavit her at 1 torney made pencil notes as follows I 1 her name was ethel louise fa evorite daughter of willoughby and frances the well known blue blomdal bloods of the western metropolis she had finished off at miss snit fie s exclusive school which overlooked 10 the hudson and the common school branches after she learned how to enter a ball room and while on her way to attack europe for or the third time them the viper crossed her pathway she accepted him because misname his name was hubert he looked like an eng lishman ll and one of his ancestors turned the water into nto chesapeake bay day while some bome of the wedding guests were still in the hospital he began to practice the most diabolical cruel ties he induced her to get got on his acht and go cruising through the fanean when she wanted to take an apartment in paris at monte carlo he scolded her tor for borrowing 3 francs france from a russian grand duke after she went vent broke at bucking the wheel she had met A the duke at a luncheon the day before and his manners were perfect t the lawyer said that hubert was a pup beyond all cavil cairo egypt yielded up another dark chapter of history it came out in the sobbing recital Ite cital that hubert had presented her with a prize winning pomeranian lan direct ly IY related to the famous FIJI owned by the countess Ski doogan of bil carty later on he seemed to teel feel that the pomeranian had come between him and ethel the situation became more and more tense and finally one day in egypt within plain sight ot of the majestic ma lestic pyramids he kicked precious eyer ever so hard and raised quite a ewel ling the legal adviser said adeata was too good tor for such a fiend in vienna though that was where he went so tar far that separation became inevitable ethel had decided to take an 80 pearl necklace she had seen in a window it was easily worth that much and she felt sure she could