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Show Procrastination is a carefully planned skill Short Cummings By KEVIN CUMMINGS wife didn't let me off the hook as easily as my roommate. I had to come up with better techniques. I had only been married a few months when I started working on the "I need another tool" method. It started when my wife asked me to fix the squeaky hinge on the front door. As sincerely as I could, I agreed that the door needed to be fixed and went to take a look at it. For nine or ten minutes I stared at the hinges and made "Hmmmm...." noises to myself. (When you procrastinate, it is essen tial that you look as if you're actually actu-ally doing something.) Finally I turned to my wife and said, "I'd really like to fix this, but I don't have the right tools." "You don't have any tools," she said. "My point exactly,"l said. "Why don't you borrow Bemie's tools?" she asked. Trust a wife to ruin a good session of procrastination. procrastina-tion. All of these methods are good, but none of them is good enough to let me put off cleaning the basement for nearly two years. For that I had to come up with a bold and daring new method of putting things off. I decided to avoid cleaning the basement base-ment by doing other work. Every time my wife suggested I clean the basement, I found some other job to do. I've folded laundry, emptied the dishwasher and even vacuumed the floor to avoid going to the basement. It's taken her a while, but my wife has caught on. Now I'll have to clean the basement I'll start on it just as soon as I get boxes to store everything in. I have to clean out my basement It's needed a good cleaning ever since we moved in. My wife has been after me to get it cleaned for over 18 months, but I've managed to put it off. Although I've been a lifelong procrastinator, this is my personal best. Most people think that it's easy to be a good procrastinator. Nothing could be farther from the truth. If you want to be a good procrastinator, pro-crastinator, you have to start training train-ing at an early age. I started my career when I was in the third grade. I was sitting in the living room watching T.V. when Mom walked in and said, "Don't you have a book report to do young man?" "Yeah," I replied, "but I'll get to it later." Mom was not impressed. She switched off the T.V. and told me to get to work. Trust Mom to ruin a good session of procrastination. Then I started to understand the key to being a successful procrastinator. pro-crastinator. You have to make people peo-ple think that you really want to do whatever it is you're putting off. I devoted most of my college career to this idea. I'd be lying on my bed reading when my roommate would walk in and say, "Don't you have a paper to write?" "Yeah," I'd reply, "but I'm doing do-ing a little extra reading for background research. ' "How does a "Batman" comic relate to Moby DickV my roommate room-mate would ask. Trust a roommate to ruin a good session of procrastination. pro-crastination. Marriage presented me with a whole new series of challenges. My |
