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Show 1 paumshells By BRENDA BAUMGARTNER 1 Mom, what is sex? I think one of the most awkward and literally terrifying aspects of being be-ing a parent is having to explain the . components of sex to your child. Because sex is such a casual subject on television and in music our children are exposed to it long before we parents have the chance to give our child that special "talk." Because my oldest child is only 8 years old, I felt safe with the thought that I would have at least two to four years to prepare my "talk." I pictured her at 14 coming to me on a quiet night and the two of us sitting on the front porch drinking cocoa and me giving a confident and well prepared discussion discus-sion about the elements and emotions emo-tions of sex. I found out just last month how wrong I was. If you aren't already sick of "The New Kids on the Block," then you can't possibly be the parent of a daughter between the ages of 4 and 18. They have been billed as the new "Beetles," and their recent concert at the Marriott Center in Provo was a sellout My 8-year-old daughter has her bedroom walls plastered with "New Kids" paraphernalia. She has "New Kids" T-shirts and nightgowns and even a video revealing their inner-most thoughts and feelings. This doesn't bother me too much except for the fact that she thinks Donnie, the motorcycle-riding, motorcycle-riding, goatee beard-wearing member, is the "cutest." She couldn't pick Joe the innocent, blue-eyed youngster. No, she liked the one with his nose pierced. For her eighth birthday I took her to the concert. It was the loudest event I've ever attended, and I've never felt my age more than when I was surrounded by thousands of teeny-bop'pers screaming at every pelvis rotation or , navel-revealing thing these five boys did. The group did, however, try to put across a message of the importance impor-tance of being drug-free. Donnie (my daughter's heart throb) prominently promi-nently displayed the message "Drugs Suck" on his T-shirt and proceeded to have the audience scream out the words after a count of three. I had mixed feelings about this because, although I am very much in favor of the drug-free message, I am not thrilled with the use of the word "suck." As I sat in that concert I became aware of how quickly my little girl was growing up, and how uncomfortable uncom-fortable I was with this idea. Although Al-though there were hundreds of girls her age at the concert, and many that were as young as 3 and 4, there were a lot of sexual messages from just the dance steps that these boys were doing. No, I am not a prude, I .am just slowly turning into my mother. After the concert, as my daughter and I were driving home, I sat wondering just how much of those racy moves made sense to her. My worst fears were realized when she turned to me and asked, "Mom, what's sex?" Every parents' nightmare! My heart leaped into my throat, and I could feel my face heating up as I stumbled through my explanation. explana-tion. "Well honey," I said trying to find the right wordsnot too detailed, de-tailed, yet honest. "It's something that two people do when they love each other very much and get married." mar-ried." Not bad, I thought, for just winging it. She looked at me oddly, giggled and said, "Not that," shaking her head, "The thing it said on Donnie's shirt, you know-sucks." Feeling both foolish and relieved, I told her that the word meant something was bad or stupid. I also told her she should never use that word. This satisfied her, and back she went to talking ajxnit the concert. con-cert. " I then began to realize my little fantasy of a mother-daughter birds and bees talk was not something I would be able to plan. Like most experiences in parenthood, they just happen, and hopefully we will give the best information and advice we can. However, the next time I hear the words, "Mom, what is sex?" I will first ask, "You mean the number after five?" |