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Show WEBER HERALD MICE and MEN "V V "V TUESDAY AND WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1st - 2nd, 1919 Page Four Orpheurn Young Man! Your personal appearance is going to have much to do with your success in life. It is our business to advise and help you succeed in this respect. Wright's Men's Section OffTw-, When That Unexpected Company Arrives Have a Pullman Ready Ogden Furniture & Carpet Co. " The Store of Satisfaction " G. B. JOHNSON, D. C, Ph. G. H. W. ROBERTS, D. G. CHIROPRACTORS Suite 412-13-14-15-16-17-26 Col. Hudson Bldg. Xray Laboratory Phone 707 MORE LIGHT for LESS MONEY Edison Mazda Lamps Watson-Flygare Hardware Co. Phone 90 2414 Washington Avenue SERVICE Bramwell's Books, Stationery and School Supplies EXCEL -PRICES RIGHT -ASSORTMENT COMPLETE With the Nuts Wanderlust There's a hand organ playing below in the street, Just a popular air that's distractingly sweet And there's something the matter with ev'ry one's feet. There's a bird flitting by with some business afar, For a chat with a rose or call on a star And you want to be anywhere but where you are. There's a breeze blowing in through the window and door, With a scent of the waters, a smell of the shore And the burden grows heavy, so heavy before. And it isn't the eastland, it isn't the west, t And it isn't the south or the north seems the best That calls you ;nd fills you with summer's unreft; For it's all of the world that is calling you now, The salt of the sea and the soil of the plow. You never know and you never care how But you want to go follow that organ afar, Away from the town and the clang of the car You want to be anywhere but where you are. Extreme "That young woman who has just passed is one of the politest girls in town." "Out with it." "At the funeral at her home the other day she asked the undertaker to call again." Census Taker How many children have you? Citizen Three. Census Taker Altogether? Citizen No; one at a time. Officer And what are you going to do when you get there? Emigrant Take up land. Officer Very much? Emigrant Oh, a shovelful at a time. A few days after a larmer had sold a pig to a neighbor, he chanced to pass his place and saw his little boy sitting on the edge of the pig pen, watching its new occupant. "Howd'ye do, Johnny?" he said. "How's your pig today?" "Oh, pretty well, thank you," replied the boy. "Ho's all your folks?" If Looks Could Kid Bill And so you proposed marriage to her? Ken Yes, I did. "And did she give you any encouragement?""Oh, yes." "Congratulations in order?" "No; she finally refused me." "But I thought you said she gave you some encouragement?" "She did. She looked at me three times before she refused me." Terry What do you think of my shoes? Beal They are immense. "Sayt Harry, w'ats the best way to teach a girl how to swim?" "Dat's a cinch. First off you puts yer left arm under her waist and you gently takes her left hand " "Come off; she's my sister." "Aw, push her off de dock." Worry is a sure sign of sanity. Lunatics never worry. FROM $4 TO $9 THE V A PAIR SHOE fOR MEN Clark's 2358 WASHINGTON AVENUE Pat Say, are the buildings in Anv erica as large as they say they are? Mike Sure, an' they are. The last one I worked on we had to lie on our stomachs to let the moon pass. She Oh, Russ, you've broken your promise. Russ Never mind, dearie, I'll make you another. "The motor car is fast superseding the horse." "I've no doubt of it. I found a lot of rubber tire in my sausage this morning." First Hobo (reading newspaper) I say, pal, just think of it! A meal with roast turkey and ham, puddin', fruit salad, wine and cigars, all for a dime. Second Ditto Where? First Hobo Oh, I dunno where. But just think of it. Her Henry! Why on earth are you cutting your pie with a knife? Henry Because, my darling now understand, I'm not finding fault, for I know that these little oversights will occur because you forgot to give me a can opener. "How did you enjoy your vacation?""Fine; the hotel where I put up had all the discomforts of home." "And so, Miss Evans, you reject me! Well, to humble your pride a little, I'll tell you that you are by no means the first." Newman, leading a dog by a string, lounged up to the ticket office of the Bamberger station and inquired: "Must I aw take a ticket for a puppy?' ' "No; you can travel as an ordinary passenger," was the reply. Come to Us for Your School Supplies CONFETTI AND SERPENTINE FOR DANCES -Ogden Book & Curio Store A STORE THAT TRIES TO PLEASE V ?w YOU CAN DEPEND ON SQUARE TREATMENT AT OUR PLACE J. S. LEWIS & CO. JEWELERS SERVICE WITH QUALITY IS OUR MAXIM Let us have your order, we will treat you right and guarantee satisfaction. STEELE" CARLSON GROCERY COMPANY 350 2STH STREET If you use lard substitute try RUSSELL-JAMES Ideal Shortening There Is No Other Shortening Quite So Good Have you Ever Tried NOODLES If so, you will try them again; if not, try them and you will eat them always. MATSUBA COMPANY 273 TWENTY-FOURTH STREET B. F. THOMAS PRINTER jZ? 7 2476 WASHINGTON AVE. Phone 147-J M. L. JONES COAL & ICE CO. COAL AND ARTIFICIAL ICE Phone 1C03 |