| Show n aale ° !hursdaXprir26Jl990 Apathy's iron grip on Price stands no chance of being broken during the history of mankind JD Conover by staff writer Ten months of planning in a moment would pass I've been called an unquantifiable number or things in my time Rude 1 hoped all along it wouldn't kick my a crude lewd and a whole host of other four letter words are on the list I've I'd begged I'd borrowed and did all but stole been complimented on my honesty consistency and believe it or not my to faring something new to this desert hole somewhat lengthy hair All of this is fine and dandy because I tend to sub- And what to my stressed out conscience became known? scribe to die sticks and stones theory However there is one term that Someone liedl I wouldn't reap even half what I'd sewn! when used m any context really gets my feather's ruffled It is a word that I I began despising people's apathetic quirks would like to use to rename the wonderful community of Price I would Take a flyin leap at a rolling donut you temperamental jerks! all those borof little roadside change More rapid than nausea the obscenities came signs that can be found on the green der of Price so they read "APATHY" I'd give Apathy a spot on the map and I hollaed and cursed and called them all by names an appropriate zip code of 00000 The housewives the miners both laid off and working I have been given all sorts of suggestions like "stop and smell the roses" The EU employees and students who'd gave me a jerking look for the good in things and don't be so negative These are great sloI voiced their identities while pacing the hall gans and should be considered by all Contrary to popular belief I use them It wu the toughest of tasks but I'd named them all! often But even so reality tends to kick even the most jovial of souls every My hatred wu bitter but I let it pus by now and again Twu granted leave by my tearing eye You cant change people for some unknown reason and with that in mind So this is my thanks for helping all of you? I would like to point out that when Ebenezer Scrooge got out of bed on De- Well I can’t turn bade So now what to do? cember 26th he almost assuredly looked in the mirror and thought things The show is tonight don't be a baby about himself that were far worse than death by septic asphyxiation You never know maybe just maybe I've chosen to parity Christmas because it was the spirit that went with it So I left for the Airport with Trav at my side that I admired the community for There is another spirit present about that I figured Cronauer would hate the ride not only parallels the Christmas spirit here but surpasses it in a sense of the Adrian wu hilarious He told the best jokes word that a pornographic film would outrank a Disney movie in terms of I warned I wu worried about Price and it's folks He told of 35 people u his smallest group ever disgusting It seems that the Christmas spirit is the only really unified idea present in I'd probably but that with my ailing endeavor the area I then derived that should I find applicable analogies that related to It bothered me morally to spend student money Christmas in form and parodied context that my point would be related to on a man never met who wu supposedly funny much easier and provoke a greater overall understanding for everyone His subject material? I didn't know Therefore making a point that may have otherwise been met by confusion Twu the least of my worries Would any one go? and misunderstanding Now with an open mind and the tune to the Christinas carol "Oh Christmas Tree" on the tip of your musically inclined longue let's proceed with my first parity "Sure IH buy a ticket" they'd lie through their teeth Offers were lata withdrawn like a dying old leaf Arriving in Price he seemed not enthralled After touching home base I nearly balled Thoughts came to mind of killing myself Oh Apathy Oh Apathy How bountiful your richest though that's an idea best left on a shelf You've come to Price You're here to slay The time finally came for Adrian to speak I'm glad that I can move away Door sales were good but the audience weak Oh Apathy Oh Apathy You stupid Not even half of our tickets were sold At this point I decided something quite bold Well what do you dunk? Not bad for a d piece of trash with no Screw all you losers not bolhaing to come sense of rhyme huh? It's just an opinion but I think you're dumb But that's a mere scratch on the surface of this rampant problem Let's dig On a predictable outcome my brain cells were spent into a more specific example I remember I kept hearing lata "I wish I had went" Why didn't you go you clucleu snii? Twas the day before Cronauer and all throughout Price You could have beat legrttlcu and avoided my fit plans weren't for attending Now isn't that nice wasted your money A thing I should bout? I Tickets were sold with the greatest of care I ale with Adrian lata we offered a toast Publicity both posted and sent had gone everywhere Through this I learned much The memories shall linga Student Government people weren't in their beds I now also know about my middle fingers They were trying to fill the Geary with heads God made one indigenous to each of my hands With Cronauer on an airplane and myself without sleep apathetic people of this and all lands I figured the financial loss would be steep I made an effort md you turned yuur back Unthought of things arose at last minute The place you can kiu me is omitted with tact I tackled them all Don't know how I did it So listen real close apathetic people of Price Shame on you all and your indifferent lives sons-a-777- 71 long-haire- fa Editors Cordy West Gina Howard Travis Mann Daren Fairbanks — wm— — —————— WWIIUIM Cordy West News Editor na— M— IMMIWIM Feature Editor — w— e — a— m— Arts and Entertainment Editor — — — e —iiMMiwnaiwmMi rout— jGina Howard wwMMTiev is Mann ReportersNMMNNMHHMMMMMMmHJD Conover Daren Fairbanks Stephanie Bogdin Gina Barbiero Carrie Crocco Jeff Jordan Dusty Nieman and Tom Houghton PhotographeisMNHMMHMMNNIxnnie Behunin Stephanie Mam Stephanie Marvidakis and Gary Allen Rix Brian Dawea Snack FftrhrrMTrrrTT Susan A Pblster Adviser Utah Eastern and is Tka Eog le Is tha effidol student publication of tin CoBega af and winter spring quarters Opinions expressed printod every other Thursday fall en this puNir! may at may Ml reflect the official opinio efCEU’s administration faculty students or tuff The Eagle office is located in Room 1 11 of the Main building Special clothes rack 25 Off Plush animals 10 Off Art supplies are always 10 off Support your local Bookstore Who cares about Plato World War II or the Industrial Revolution College faculty are reeling from a report released by die National Endowment fa the Humanities in Octoba 1989 50 Hours: A Core Curriculum for College Students authored by Endowment Chairman Lyme Cheney hu pulled a number of skeletons out of the curricula closet of higher education This report hu put faculty and administrators across the country fat the embarrusing and potentially precarious position of explaining ca-tai- n deficiencies that have resulted from their neglect of a core curriculum The NEH commissioned the study to meawell the average college senia unda-- s how sure lands buic history and litaature The results were alarming Among 700 students surveyed 67 percent would have received a grade of D F on scale the avaage GPA the test On a would have been a seniors nation's the college fa 104 on the section designed for high school seniors These students knew even less about the mataial wrote CAMPUS college-levAmerica's Student Newspaper Many of the survey questions provided frightening results Fa example 42 percent could not place the US Civil War in the correct Fifty-eigpercent failed to recognized Plato the author of The Republic while others could not answa what is the Magna Carta na who wrote the Divine Comedy 30 Hours points to higha education's neglect of a core curriculum as the cause of such fundamental ignorance Among factors Cheney cites as contributing to a shift in attention away from a core of learning is today's criterion fa rewarding scholars Cheney explains that faculty "paceive hours spent teaching in general - and days consumed devising its courses and curricula - as time away from laba that the academic system most rewards: research and publications" A complicated task like curricula reform Cheney says is seen by all but the most traditional faculty as resembling whit one young termed "A Black Hole" Though much effort is made nothing is received in return 50 Hours calls on administrators to "support those faculty members who are willing to invest the time necessary to develop coherent requirements" This unsuitable faculty reward system in addition to otha weakening forces has produced a curriculum resembling what SO Hours labels a "meaningless mosaic" The mosaic is characta- - t ized by "hundreds of courses to choose from a multitude of ways to combine them to earn a bachelor's degree and a minimum of direction" Some of the figures quoted from the Endowment survey reveal that a student can graduate from 78 percent of the nation's colleges and universities without eva taking a course in the history of Western civilization from 45 per cent without studying American English literature from 41 percent without receiving instruction in mathematics and from 38 percent without completing a course in history 50 Hours cites a few cases that illustrate the results of curriculum neglect At one Midwestern university a course on analyzing redaytime soap opaas fulfills a distribution requirement The social science distribution can the in Eat a quirement at private university "Lifetime be partially fulfilled by taking Fitness" Tlie humanities requirement at a public university in the West can be fulfilled by taking (Continued on page 8) a four-poi- nt -- el half-centur- ht y u pro-fes- a sa |
