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Show BROTHER GARDNER'S LATEST LECTURE. It pays to be good. Don't be too good, but just good ‘nuff. Christopher Columbus diskivered America, but has he eber been put in a chromo? He was too good. Captain Kidd, de pirate, acher eben had his photograph on sale. Why? Kase he was to bad. My advice to you is to hit the happy neutral groun' between Columbus and Kidd. One was too good to want to knock somebody's head off ?? stubbing his toe on a stone, de odder was too bad to subscribe for a religious publication. As I tole you in a former lecktur, he purty good on de hull, and purty bad on the average. If you fin' a lost wallet don't give it up until you have counted de money in it an hab de best of proof dat somebody lost it. If you lose your own wallet, doan' expect any better from de finder. Doan' be profance, an' yit doan' hesitate to give de English language full sweep when you catch a boy girdlin' your apple trees. Honor yer fader and yer mother but doan' lend de ole man any money unless you have good security. Come down liberally to erect churches, but if you have any brick to sell ask de contractor full price. Do yer duty by orphan asylums, but doan' board any orphans full less dan $3 a week. Love yer naybor as thyself, but see dat he returns yer shovel an' spade an' rake in good order or make him pay de retail price. Be honest, an' doan' let a grocer imagine dat you buy a quart box of strawberries expectin' to git ober a pint an a half. Obey de law, but doan clean out yer alley unless yer nabur does. Be seen often at church, dut doan' argy dat de preacher knows de arge ob de would an' de area ob heaben any better dan lots of oder folks. Support de cause of eddecasion, an' yet remember dat some of our biggest fools am people who have been stuffed full of it. Wid dese few impervious dejeckshuns to assimilate de general incongruity of astronomy, we will now endeavor to disparage de similitude of de syntax.-Detroit Free Press. |