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Show for Missions. Big Cffs-lnRev. Dr. James I. Vance, pastor of ehe North Reformed church, Newark, N. J., would not let tie fiftieth of that congregation, which is the largest of the denomination In the country, go by without making it a g INDIGNANT S THRASH PEEKERS. CO-ED- anni-vsrsar- screamingly funny. Mason and Gedsurrounded on all sides by women dis. AS WOMEN, under kept themselves spectators, FUNNY STUNTS. good control for a time, but at the end of one stunt, more than the others, Mason lost con-- j BY THEIR LA'JGH trol of himself, and a loud guffaw in BETRAYED deep bass voice exploded amidst the shriller screams of the girls. Athlete-StudentSuccessfully Enter "it's a man'" shrieked a dozen Forbidden Territory, but They women's voices, pointing accusing fin-Are RougWy Handled When gers at Mason "And his friend is another man," an-- ! Discovered. swered another dozen voices. "Throw them out!" yelled the ath-- I Lincoln, Neb BftCfttUM den Mason. of the Nebraska university letes from the stage, and several nun-- ! football team, and Kail Geddis, of the died infuriated women rushed to the Cornhuskers' baseball nine disguised themselves as women and witnessed the annual athletic parade of the coeds, in which the girls of the university, in funny and grotesque costumes performed funny and grotesque feats for the amusement of hundred of "women only" spectators, there is war between the boys and girls of the University of Nebraska. Mason and Geddis, the intruders, are wearing broad grins, supplemented by numerous bruises and bandages, for when the stunts of the girls became so funny that Mason laughed aloud, the two 'varsity athletes were set upon by f00 athletic girls, given nevere beatings and unceremoniously thrown from a window in the armory. "But It was worth it," says Mason. Every year the university girls have an exhibition, to which only women are invited, and In which curious, fanciful and grotesque stunts are performed by members of the girls' athletic classes, the performers being costumed in unique uniforms, "fit only for the female eye," so the girls saty. And every year the boys have made Them attempts to see this annual parade of The Infuriated Girls Handled Roughly, the athletic girls. It has become a tradition with the men students t hat attack. At first it was funny for the this attempt must be made, whether two ins athletes to ward off . or not there Is a chance for its the attacks of the girls, but it soon Various means have been taken pasted that point, because the men by the boys to secure entrance to the could only act on the defensive and armory, but none succeeded uulil this could noi pay the girls back in their own methods year. Mason and Geddis made elaborate "Kun tor it!" yelled Mason after he A fashionable dress- had lost his veil, his hat and half his preparations. maker constructed two swell and clothes. suits for the occasion. EveryThe boys started across the floor, thing was complete, including hats with the girls hanging on to every with the latest veils. At the appointfragment of their garments, tearing ed time the two "girls" appeared at and screaming with fury They were the door with tickets and successfully knocked down, trampled upon, turn bled around and finally thrown bodily passed the doorkeeper. The show began. First came the from a window six feet above the Krand parade, which includes the ground by the indignant "Hut It was worth it," insists "funny" acts. This performance, according to the two young men, was TWO COLLEGE BOYS. DISGUISED SEE GIRLS DO mirth-provok-tn- ; s I ball-pla- sue-eess- well-padde- d co-ed- ing fed. One of the pieces of meat was so large that it would not go the bars of the cage, and the through SUBDUED BY WOMAN attendant carelessly opened the door to push It in. DARING FEMALE FORCES BEAST Instantly the lioness threw her huge BACK INTO CAGE AFTER IT body against the door, forcing it open and rushed into the outer room, which HAD ESCAPED. had only a slight door as a bar to Oxford, Pa. This town received a perfect liberty. The terrified man, together with bad scare when it became known that several companions, who were seated Spitfire, a ferocious lioness, belongnear made a dash for safety, and got ing to a traveling circus wintering on the fair grounds in Oxford, had es- - out of the room before the animal realized its bearings. Hairing the frail door as best they could, a telephone message was sent for the manager and trainer, Madame Lascelles, who Is a daring English woman, who has been in charge of Spitfire for the last few weeks. Every man around the grounds refused to go into the room, and she bravely undertook the perilous task it being the first time she had been unprotected by the iron bars which Separated the small cage In which her charge was confined. The place was in perfect darkness, and, alone and single handed, Madame Lascelles, carrying a lantern, entered tbe room and drove the beast Into the cage She found It lying upon a cot used by the men, while the furniture, tables, cupboard and chairs were scat tend in all directions, broken Intc pieces, indicating that the lioness had tried to make a break for freedom and was exhausted by Its efforts s the woman entered It made a lunge for her, but she prodded It with her pole, driving it off. Again it came at her. Catching its The Maddened Brute Leaped at Her. (laws in her hand, with the other niadame tired several pistol shots, caped from its cage and was at large. and finally was able to force It in the Residents fled In terror from that see after repeatedly using her traintion of town, for It was known that cage, er's prod. tbe animal had already killed two trainers, and last summer so badly InThieves Steal Hive of Bees. jured Its keeper that he absolutely reWilki shan e. l'a. Thieves stole a fused again to undertake its train hive of bees from the owner. Rev. C. ing. J. Goeckel of St. Honlface's church, It was found that, though the lion- this city, and got safely away with it. ess had escaped from her cage she All search for them has been unavailhad not got from the compartment, ing, and now Father Goeckel has ofwhich was In the quarters occupied fered s reward for evidence of trace by the circus employes In one of the of the bees. They were of an excepbuildings on the ground. Ks ape had tionally fine variety, and he had niado been effected while the beast was tie a specialty of cultivating them. MAN-EATIN- LIONESS G sharp-pronge- So Small. And it came to pass that soul weigh ing was a scientific fad. "I'd like to get a pair of the most delicate scales you can put up," said the great physician. Yes. sir," replied the great manu faclim of scales. "We can construct you a pair that will register the weight of a human hair." con"Indeed! Well, could yen s' put he a pair that wsuld register the weight of a mole s hair" "Mole'B hair? Gr-- at Scutll What i do you want to use them for?" "I want to weigh the soul of a trust baioti." Remarkable Self Control. one thing I will say." "There's re- marked Mi Millions, and that is that my daughter Arabella, has a fine disposition." "Indeed!" "Yes, sir. The way she eaa listen for hours in her OWS playing n the violin shows remarks,! scii'wnUrttL y Pe-ru-- na In The Waiting Room Relieves Spring Catarrh. By Emily Watson blessing, not only to the members, but to the Reformed church at large and the Christian world In general. He accomplished this by calling for a col(Copyright, by J oseph B. Bowles.) lection toward the $200,000 asked for this year by the board of foreign misThe notes of a popular song echoed meant nothing left you alone at the The Sentimentally through the big station picnic to get home any old way you sions of the Reformed church. result was that on the Golden Jubilee wailing room. With one accord the could, and gone off and sulked for I don't deserve you Sunday, December 1C, $4,500 was despondent occupants of the benches, three months. placed in the collection. turned to look in the direction whence should forgive me, and that's a fact." "I'm sure I forgave you long ago," It came. A young man had entered at WAIT FOR THIS. the south door and was making his interrupted the girl softly. "But what His clothes Only $"0 round trip to California, way across the floor. "Nelly," incredulously. via Salt Lake Route. Write for full were those of the mechanic; are you doing at the station? Not information to J. H. Burtner, Salt over his shoulder was slung a canvas going away? I couldn't stand for thai Lake City. . bag of tools. Behind him came a col- you know, now I've got you again." "I am going to New York." ored porter bearing a step ladder. Thought Ride Sufficient Reward. the "And so it's because you're going to beneath man The paused young An official of the Brooklyn street so fine, and car lines tells the following story: big station clock and glanced up at New York that., vou are so look to The hands nine, dial. pretty. the pointed "There was a new conductor put on "Do you like my things'" she asked, that the hurriedly one Monday morning, with- In open disregard of the fact in "Do I look pretty, really was sun eagerly. afternoon streaming out being informed fully as to details. and "Darn western windows. truly?" On Saturday afternoon as he was sit- through the "Your things are up in G. and you're ting In the barn, a fellow conductor thing's taken to going two hours last as pretty as a picture, Nelly. But said to him, 'Why don't you go up to a day," explained the porter. "Put the ladder here," said the what's the use of words. If all these the office and get your pay?' The new what man looked up in surprise. 'What, do young man, "and we'll soon see what's people were'nt here I'd show you I are of What think you going he you. Still carolling, they pay you wages too?' he asked." gone wrong." to do in New York?" mounted and began observations. s She looked at him sideways. "I am of an It still wanted $30 California & Ret. Salt Lake Route. MISS DORA HAY DEN. hour to the departure of the New York going," she said slowly, "I am going hesitation I write to thank "Without Went Long Without Food. She to be married to Michael." express, when a girl entered. How long can an animal live with- glanced round the room, then crossed He gave a gasp. "That's not true, he you for the great relief I ha ve found in out eating? Last year a dog was im- over to the full length mirror, which cried. She shrugged her shoulders. your valuable medicine, Peruna, and prisoned for 29 days in a rabbit war- hung on one of the walls. After a "Neliy," he besought, "forgive me. I will call the attention of all my friends ren at Guildford, England, yet was critical survey of herself she opened shouldn't have said that, but you gave suffering with catarrh to that fact. Beknow it isn't true. I sides me a fright. .lug out alive. During the siege of a satchel and drew out a hand-glass- , I cheerfully rccommenti it to all sufwar, a a comb and a perforated chamois pow. know you're just teasing me. But I've Metz, in the Franco-Prussiawith catarrh in any form." without food or der bag. Raising her spotted veil lost my nerve and I can't stand for it. fering dog was confined Dora Miss Hay den, 819 6th St., S. W., water for 39 days; while Dover rec- she combed to a still greater height Say you don't mean it." D. C. Washington, anyof use ords have the story of a pl2 which, her already exaggerated pompadour, the "What's my saying A of Spring Catarrh. Case burled alive by a fall of cliff, came readjusted the angle of her hat, care- thing," she asked him. "when you out all right at the end of 160 days. truth? N. P. the Mrs. 4'io4 N. Broad way, I'm think not Lawler, you studied telling fully powdered her face and Michael Don- Pittsburg, Kas., writes: "Last spring I of her I'm going to marry in the hand-glasresult the $30 California & Ret. Salt Lake Route. Finally satisfied, she ovan. For two years I was straight caught a severe cold, which developed operations. 1 felt her veil, returned the to you, and put up with your into a serious case of catarrh. down pulled New Homes in Washington, weak and sick, and could neither eat turned and and to it and tempers, shut jealousies the toilet articles bag, Only a few days ago the announcenor sleep well. lots of better men because ment was made of the half million-iolla- r with a snap. She smoothed down her down "A member of our club who had been I was silly about you. because out the well, of hitched by place home to be built at Washington jacket, cured of cat arrh through the use of Peleft and me But when threw off, shouland you of her arms; then, it is gen- raising by August Belmont. me to be a public laughing stock, did runa advised me to try it, and I did so eral gossip that options have been se- ders well back, and with an exaggerat once. I expected help, but nothing I was going to put on sack cured by Mrs. Marshall Field, of Chi- ation of the fashionable gait, she you think like the wonderful change for the bette: and cloth and till to an empty bench ashes, you got good I observed almost as soon as I start cago, and George W. Vanderbilt, of haughtily strolled and seated herself. ready to come back to me? Not it. In three days I felt muc New York and Hlltmore, on residence taking clock-make- r much! " his finished The had and in within two weeks I was iu the The better, northwest. propproperty "You needn't say any more," interjob to his liking, and was stowing tine health. Peruna is a wonderful erty on which the homes for these medicine." is to be erected is the west away his instruments, preparatory to rupted the man, "I quite understand. Miss McCullough. Well. hope you'll end of the square fronting on a small be happy and have lots of good luck." ROARED HIS GENTLE REBUKE. park formed by the intersection of He lifted his hat with awkward digNew Hampshire avenue and Sevennity, and turning on his hee , marched teenth street. The property has a Mate's Wrath Found Vent in Peculiar towards the door. Form of Reproach. frontage of nearly 200 feet. The girl watched his retreating form with frightened eyes, then "Jim." $30 California & Ret. Salt Lake Route. Rear Admiral Mead, who has just she called, almost under her breath, been retired, was talking one night at but "Jim." He heard her and came stridAppropriate, Cutting. a about the in Portsmouth dinner "Miss Ethel Barrymore," said a ing back. power of discipline. nomedian at the Players' club, "is con"Well?" he demanded. "In my youth," he said, "I knew a tinually besieged by painters. Her "I I didn't speak," she stammered. first mate in the merchant service Oeauty makes her a desirable subject; "I beg your pardon, I thought you who. though "an excellent officer, was her fame, too, makes her desirable; did. "Oh, Nelly," he cried, "you can't dreadfully profane. When anything no is more one there sought mean to do this thing. If Michael went wrong he would volley forth after for sittings than Mis? Barry-morwere a decent sort I'd not have a oaths and curses in a shocking way. And she is so gracious that word to say. But he isn't. Why, he Once, with a very though, he sometimes she sits to indifferent arthasn't a friend in the world. It was strict, religious shipped and the first captain, ists. This happened in Philadelphia I do about him knowing 'he things time this captain chanced to witness last year. A young Philadelphia imthat made me so riled whon I saw him one of the mate's swearing bouts he pressionist made a rather ghastly yelif even it's gave the young man a good dressing hanging round you. Nelly, low and green portrait of Miss Barry-morall over now, I ask you. please wait!" down. 'You are a first-ratofficer,' he When It was done he asked her The girl gazed at him spellbouns. ended, 'but remember, no more swearto sign it and write something or her hands nervously opening and closing. Not another oath aboard my other some little sentiment above ing. ship.' her signature. Miss Barrymore smiled "Why, Nelly." with a sudden joyful "Well, the mate bore the captain's as she looked at the wretched portrait conviction, "I believe you love me warning in mind. Then one afternoon wrote: and she still." it happened that the boatswain made "Be not afraid; it is I. Ethel Barry- "I Suppose You're Awfully Mad with "Oh, Jim," she sobbed, "I do I do. an inexcusable error in carrying out more." ' Me." But I've given Michael my word, and an order. When the boatswain confessed the fault he had committed At $30 CALIFORNIA $30 the ladder. the sound I'll have to keep it." descending ellv " lie nlpartnd "Wbv look hprp the mate turned red with rage. He of the his and started, singing girl Lake Round trip via Salt Route. "if it's a question of keeping promopened his mouth. Everybody looked Sale begins April 2Gth. Write today. looked nervously round. "Jim!" she murmured incredulous- ises, you promised me long before at him expectantly, waiting to hear J. H. Burtner, Salt Lake City. you promised Michael, and it's the some remarkable oaths, but just then ly. Then, after a moment's hesitation, first promise that holds in law, you the captain hove in sight. The mate, Drama. to a Machine rose and stealthily moved bench Sausage know." There is a department of modern directly in front of the clock. seeing the captain, remembered his "East bound express. stopping at orders about profanity. But his rage "drama" which resembles nothing so The girl was elaborately gazing in and New had to have a vent of some sort Poughkeepsie much as a sausage machine; the good a direction away from the clock, and Hudson, and, meat of literature goes in, Is minced had assumed a pose calculated to York," chanted the station official. striding up close to the culprit, he The girl made to rise to her feet, roared In the man's up, seasoned, and presented to our show at once the lines of her figure, face, 'You naugharm drew her ty, naughty boatswain!'" but the and the abstraction of her mind. degenerate digestions. Isls. back. stand"Nelly," said the clock-make$30 California & Ret. Salt Lake Route. 8TUDENT MADE HIS POINT. "Sweetheart," he whispered, "you ing humbly before her, "Nelly" don't want to go and marry Michael she forced her and thoughts Slowly No Doubt the Policeman Understood High Game and Fools. do you?" "If we can't eat game," said an an- her eyes from the far distance, and What He Meant. "No," said the girl, "I don't want to down. For a and him looked Up tiquary, "we can at least talk about moment a little bewildered frown marry Michael, but " it." W. H. Mallock, the "But what?" and milk, the de- drew her neat eyebrows together, Stirring his d writer and English she economist. political see," "it's "Well, you of explained, a smile then enlightenment brought vout old man, with a longing look at a like this: I told all the girls at the Bald at a dinner in New York, apropos a dimple into play. haunch of venison, resumed: af a new definition of socialism: "I store that I was going to get married, "Never eat game high. People will "Why, if it isn't Jim Morris!" she find that definition rather confusing. to about New and and York, my trip tell you that high game is tender. exclaimed. It reminds me of the young Oxford I go back and tell them there wasn't if What rot! Of course It Is tenderer, "I came to fix the clock." he exstudent's badinage with the policeand there wasn't any but would you want your steak or plained. "I'm a dock-make- r, yoo any wedding, man. 'Officer.' said the youth late one me to death. your chop spoiled in order that it know. But I suppose you've forgotten trip, why they'll josh night, 'I d like to ask you a question.' to me dreadful for Jim it's it say a to be little softer the teeth? that as well as everything else." might " 'Very well, sir.' "No. Never! Highness in game Is " 'Does "I've such a lot of gentlemen but you love me, don't you Jim? Let's the law permit me to call to New York, you and me, an anachronism, a relic of the days of friends," she apologized, "and it's so, go away an ass?' you us and let married. now, Then get stage coaches. " 'You move long" on,' the officer growled. "In those days It was impossible to " "It's only three months," said the they couldn't throw anything up to 'But stop a bit,' continued the me." deliver game to the cities fresh -t- ransit young man, reproachfully. "I supyouth. 'Does the law permit me to was too slow. AH game was high, "lint Nelly," he protested, taken he went on dejectedly, as he pose," call an ass a policeman?' and men ate It high because otherwise sank Into the bench. "I suppose you're aback, "what would the boss say if 1 " 'The law off a went couldn't moment's all. at at it notice get that that,' was thedon't say nothing about they mad with' me?" awfully gruff reply. "Hence, to eat game high nowadays, way?" " 'Then.' said the "Why Mr. Morris, the idea!" youth, 'good-nighwhen there Is no necessity for It, is to "I he'd on say guess nothing, seeing "Of course I ought to have known Mr. Policeman." " be a fool." Detroit Journal. went to be married." anyone as pretty as you was bound to "Look at my clothes," he cried. fellows than conmore he have one," & Fighting with Ants. Ret. Sail Like Route. $30 California "And. I sweetheart, I haven't the money to The Indians of the Mauritius dishave "and chewed oughtn't tinued, the rag when I saw you playing up to to buy a ticket, let alone to get mar- pose of termites, or white ants, In this He's Entltlsd to It. ried with. manner: When they see their covered at the moon gets Michael Donovan, and swallowing his The dog that barks "I've got the money. Jim." she whisIf as were way approaching a building, they drop they 'lluyler's the same kind of satisfaction that Is compliments a I've saved." train of syrup from this way to the "$50 his voice pered. but" best.' grew a man weak choky who scoffs experienced by "Nelly." he said, desperately, "I nearest nest of black ants. The first "you don't know, Nelly, how a chap at the work a great man does. feels when he loves a girl. Why, can't take your money like that. I'd ones that see the syrup follow It up till they reach the termite he'll plan for hours how to bring one be a regular sponge." Words of Cheer. passage. "East bound express, stopping at They return to their nest, and In a Mr. William O'Brien, when he was kind look to her eyes, and he'll few hours a black army starts out for last in prison In Ireland, spent the hug himself for days remembering a Hudson. Poughkeepsie and New York. time In close study of the Bible Th smile and then when he sees her All aboard." called the official with a the white afht stronghold. With great fury they rush into the galleries, and copy lie read had been read by ths looking tip to another man, and blush- tone of finality. "Oh. well." the girl acquiesced, "1 In a short time entirely destroy the former occupant of his cell. At tbe ing and dimpling the way he's come don't wonder after the way I've be- enemy, afl each one, on Its way end or Jeremiah this prisoner had to believe she only does for him scrawled: "Cheer up, old boy! Cheer why it's awful that's what It Is," and haved that you don't want to BfUTJ home, carries a dead termite, probably to eat he brought his hand so violently down me." up!" "Not want to marry you!" cried the on the bench that his tools wen set Between airships and submarine Starting at the Foot. clock maker, "not want hold on ,il a Jingling. "Bui even If I was Prince Vlnxen Hereditary Von ous," he went on. "that wasn't any there." he shouted to the gateman, boats, the coming generation won't be on the level. Windschgraetz of Germany has enter- reason mmmm Mu TbrtlsMntr should have acted the way I ' WP'rA ffotnt?" ed the Dresden bank as a temporary Insulted you !v refusing to take through the riii s they ran togetaer It Is when woman can't get a diclerk for the purpose of familiarising did.. word when you swore that you towards the clOSlns wicket. your vorce that she Is apt to regard marhimself with financial affairs. riage as a failure. ' well-to-d- o three-quarter- 1 n s To-da- y 1 2TJ e. e clock-maker'- s well-know- t, 1 |