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Show SOUTH fMTHff COURIER' BACK HOME AGAIN By Ed Dodd Wanna Be an Eagle? The individual, formfit, quick detachable helicopter is at hand. Slipped on, as it were, over the head, requiring no time to adjust and able to take you aloft by zipper. Vacation Five-Da- y Pat, an argumentative Irishman, was fired from his railroad shop job and to avoid discussion, the foreman gave him his discharge in a It is called the really outboard-motorize- s letter. life The next day Pat was missing, but five days later he was back to work. When the boss came through and saw him at work he tapped Pat on the shoulder. Didnt you get my letter?" he asked. Yes, sir, I did," said Pat. Well, didnt you read it? asked the boss. I sure did that," answered Pat, "inside and out. On the inside ye said I was fired, and on the outside said Return to A.B.C. R. R. Shops in five days. Boss, Ive had a heck of a time doin nothing for five days. Hoppi-Copt- MOPSY byGLADYS PARKER It er you for among the barn swallows. It is guaranteed to do for you in the air what an outboard engine will do for a canoe in the water, only more so. All we hope is that BE SURE it has big letters on it TO CHECK GAS BEFORE PULLING We dont want to get up 1,000 feet over the picket fences and discover that we forgot about fuel. " PHILOSOPHERS THE STARTER-COR- The big merchandising possibilities are seen in its use by the masses as a substitute for the flivver. No traffio signs, no dead ends, no hydrants, no No Parking signs. Just strap on the r, deml tasse . . . and the zippee! string pull . . . you are an airborne commuter, the equal of the eagle and the superior of the wild goose, the redheaded woodpecker, the busy bee and the runaway boxkite. Legless Vet Works His 70 Acre Farm -- TWIN WANTED one-ma- n, easy-to-we- ar hoppi-cop-tc- It may not be long before Little Willie will be equipped with blades to dash to the grocery for a loaf of bread, Father buttoned up in gadgets to fly him to the Elks picnic and Mother fanning her way over the housetops toward the fire sale. A little man came into the office of a psychiatrist. Come in, boomed the doctor. What seems to be the trouble? I was wondering, the little man if you couldnt offered timidly, split my personality for me. The doctor looked puzzled. Split your personality? Why goodness me, my man, why would you want that done? Tears tumbled down the little mans face. he Oh, doctor, wailed, Im so lonesome! We were about to order one today. Two things stopped us. How to get a set of spare blades, and a rumor we might have to stop in midair to have the old ones honed. VERNAL HOME -- TOWN ECHOES By C. Kessler VOID Spring is a sham a fraud a mock Without that rich brew known as bock! Avery Giles. THEYLL CALL IT WORSE NAMES Such The Humiliation! doesnt stop Lester Ogden from operating a farm. The amputee, a veteran of the late war, has a specially-equippe- d tractor and other equipment so that he can do almost any kind of farm work. The tractor is fitted with vacuum handles, which take the place of the standard clutch and brake. His car also has been altered so that he can drive entirely with his hands. Ogden lives near Carterville, 111. was Professor Wright, stickler on correct English and proper spelling, was sitting in his living room, reading quietly. Suddenly the door burst open and his excited wife rushed in flourishing a piece of paper. She handed the paper to the professor, who opened it and read: I am running away from home and I am taking the money you hid In the dresser drawer and have gone to the south maybe to Mexiko Your son. Oh the shame of it! shrieked the professor. To think that a son of mine could be guilty of using such horrible grammar. He even misspelled Mexico. Loss of his legs who TEEN-AG- re By Stookie Allen TRIUMPHS E. TT7 5.4. A off-du- ty jil'jn 18 Jules Winner is the envy of all the LADS IN HIS ST. LOUIS NEIGHBORHOOD. UNABLE TO GO TO COLLEGE BEGAUSE OF LACK OF FUNDS, HE SET TO WORK AND WON A 2,400 SCHOLARSHIP IN THE ANNUAI SCIENCE TALENT SEARCH CONTEST. 3 v S' yOW IK THA-- - -- v; JULfcS WON BY CATALOGUING 245 PLANTS AND ANIMALS HE FOUND IN A VACANT LOT. vv, WANT TO ENTER THIS WRITE TO CONTEST Teen-ag- e Triumphs THE ? FOR INFORMATION. T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT! NO FEED PROBLEM By FRANK COLBY Bell Syndicate. WNU Features. WHAT ARE WORDS MAKE OF? micro-- , "very small; all around. Suffixes: gram, something written"; graph, something written; phone, voice; scope, instrument for viewing. Now it must be emphasized that, while nearly all of such words are coined in imitation of Latin and Greek words, they are English words, and are not Latin or Greek. Obviously, there were no such words or objects in ancient Rome or Greece as telephone, microscope, periscope, etc. However, the combining forms are of great value in creating new English words. For instance, suppose you were to invent a machine that could convert a persons thoughts into audible sound so that you could actually hear what a person is thinking. Youd surely want a descriptive name for such an important device. Well, by using the prefix logo-- , and the suffix phone, thought, voice," you could coin the word logophone and give it the meaning a machine for converting thoughts Into voice. thousand; peri-- , -- In English there are thousands of valuable words which have been coined to express Ideas or to name objects for which no words existed. Such words are compounded from Latin and Greek combining forms, L e., prefixes and suffixes. For example, let us take the comfrom far off. bining form tele-- , By coupling it with these suffixes, graph, "something written; phone, voice; scope, instrument for viewing, we produce the familiar words telegraph, telephone, and telescope. The suffix gram means someBy using thing drawn or written. the prefixes mono-- , one; pro-- , before; epi-- , upon, we form the words monograih, program, epigram. Now see bow many familiar words you can make by combining these forms: Prefixes: auto-- , "self; same; dia-- , "through; In two parts; kilo-- , -- -- -- -- Maybe He Had! insurance agent, while paying a claim to a woman recently covering the death of her husband, sought to persuade the fair beneficiary to take out a policy on her own life. I believe I will, the woman agreed, after a moments reflection. My husband had such good luck. World-Telegra- m General Marshall attended the Nutcracker Suite at the Bolshoi News item. theater in Moscow. Probably had a nice evening thinking of some of the nuts he wouldnt mind cracking. WITH HAPPIER DAYS In New York City the police have been ruthlessly tossing out of windows the belongings of two allegedly eccentric old men, who lived alone in Fifth avenue and apparently never threw anything away. Crowds in the streets cheered. It continues to shock and mystify us. We find but one clue to the sad performance . . . an ancient sled found in the litter. Could it be that this relic of a happy boyhood, this reminder of a sweeter day in a less cockeyed civilization, was more than a harassed, cynical New York could endure? MEvttOlRS? VCEEA cJOANSOa), (uadeo. sea&mny CALLED CM MS? EUNICE CFlABOfZ GOOD LUCK, AllCHOLr, LAST MIGHT ) KEEM SocEry FdYETTF.AVSSOiXZ. . Difficult Decisions By Gluyas Williams United Nations formally took over City building site recently. The rough blueprints show, we understand, a doghouse for Gro myko in the northeast corner. its New York what The Whistle Blows Endeavoring to rest after an exceeding hard day, poor father was being bedeviled by an endless stream of unanswerable questions from little Willie. What do you do down at the office? the youngster finally asked. shouted father. "Nothing! It looked like the kid had been put off for a while, but not for long. For after a thoughtful pause, Willie inquired, Pop, how do you know when youre through? A Birmingham York A LINK Early Game A shop foreman found certain chores accumulating till his daylight afterwork hours were not enough to complete them. So he posted a bulletin one morning asking his employes to start work at six oclock for a few days, to accommodate him. You play ball with me and Ill play ball with you, he added. workmen One of the sleepy-eye- d read the sign, pondered a minute, then wrote below. O.K., I guess. But six a.m. is no time to play ball. The farmer, just back from the county fair with a new horse, discovered that the animal refused to eat or drink. looks Well, he said hopefully, like I got a real bargain, if hes a good worker. New sports staff has been given a race horse and is looking for a name for it. The colt is by Impound-Florador- a Girl. Our first suggestion would be Flora-Scooor Or how about Sextette Boy (carrying the sextette motif further) Six Star Sporting? -- -- -- -- The Moscow ballet put on Romeo and Juliet for the Big Four. That scene, we hear, where Romeo wants to interest Juliet in democracies and her relatives come through with the veto power was , terrific. Do you remember when two could live as cheaply as one? "Now not even one can do it" says Elmer Twitchell. There must be millions of American kids growing up with the notion that the only thing wrong with Jesse James, Atilla the Hun, Captain Kidd, Bluebeard, A1 Capone and Billy the Kid was that they were always being impeded by commer cials and time signals. Mr. Twitchell reports seeing the first robin yesterday. It was accom- anied, he reports, by a plumber and elper. Big Families A normal size airmail stamp has been put on sale by Uncle Sam. This Teacher (talking about the dolwill be great news to most Amer- phin and its habits) Just' think! A icans who have been longing for a single dolphin will have 2,000 baby return of the day when the post of- dolphins. would deal ir fice department Little girl Goodness! And how stamps that took but one man to lift many do the married ones have? WORLD OF TOMORROW George H. Earle of says that in the light of the atom bomb and the Russian aggression, there is not more than an even chance that 10 per cent of us will be alive in five years. Ex-Go- Penn-sylvani- Been listening to the Buck Rogers program, eh? Do More Good Doctor Your husband must have absolute quiet Here is a sleeping powder. Wife When do I give it to r You dont. You take yourself. No Wonder Snug Fit Wife Darling, a moth was I didnt see you in church last bathing suit. Sunday. I know you didnt; I took up the Hubby Well, it must have collection. very nice on him. Second Hand Stuff And this beautiful Auctioneer to the spinning wheel goes back ' Pilgrims. Bidder Why? Is it busted? It now takes 12,000 Chinese dollar! Hard to Meet It to buy what the American dollar wil "What do you think of the high buy. In other words, 24,000 of their cost of living?" for some bubble eum and an anU "Its worth it. in my looked Incentive Stenog How long have you working here, Jimmie? Office boy Ever since the threatened to fire me. been doss Realistic Approach Customer I want to buy a toy train for my little boy. Clerk Next floor. Mens Hobbiesl |