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Show IT DlDNT WORK. Ha Had a Blood Purifier, but Found No Customer. A dilapidated looking old man, who was chewing sassafras root with great energy, suddenly appeared in the waiting room of the Erie depot across tho river, and as he approached a man who was waiting for a western train he pulled a bottle of liquid from an old satchel in his hand and said: "My friend, you are looking yaller about the eyes, which is a sure sign your blood is in a bad state. One bottle of my blood purifier will restore you to health and vigor." Don't want it, sir!" was the curt reply. "All right, mister, all right. If a feller wants to keep on looking yaller about the eyes when a pannyeca is a hand, that's his own business. Long 'iKnit the middle of April you'll be on your back with a spell of billious fever, but you needn't lay it up agin me." The next person approached was a ; wvcre looking woman, about 35 years )f ago, who was probably an old maid. "Them yaller streaks at tho corner )f your mouth denote a torpid liver, na'am," said tho man as ho gave the jottle a snake. "Sunthin' right here o improve your looks fifty per cent, in wo weeks." "Sir!" she demanded in icy tones. ' "Only fifty cents a bottle, ma'am, nd made right in my own house, from erbs and roots gathered by my own hand. Just opened the spring campaign, cam-paign, nnd the price is only fifty cents a bottle." "(lo away, sir!" she commanded, loudly. Don't want any, eh?" "No, sir!" "All right, madam all right. Torpid Tor-pid liver may be a good thing to havo about the house, but I don't think so. Hero's your pannycea. and if you don't want it I can't compel you to buy it." Tho third person was a man with a marked redness of nose and rough spots on his face, lie was busy with a newspaper when the old man approached ap-proached and said: "One bottle will cure that nose, or money refunded." "What! What's that?" demanded the man. "And tho second bottle will causo every rough spot to disappear, though it would be safer for you to take a third. Three bottles for a $1.25 or 50 cents for a singlo bottle. I war " "Look a here, you old reprobate! What are you driving at?" exclaimed tho patient as he stood up. ' 'I am selling a blood purifier, made of roots and herbs. It's a little early, perhaps, but I want to get the start of the buckwheat scratchers. Are you a drinking man?" 'Do you mean to insult me to my face, sir? Why, I'll punch your head for a cent!" ' "Wouldn't do no good, mister. Here's the only genuine blood purifier ' ' in market, and last year I sold 7.000 bottles of it. It invigorates the liver, tones up the blood, 'and if I can't cure that nose of yours I don't want a cent." "I'll purify you. you old assassin!" shouted the man; and he was peeling off his overcoat to do it when the do-pot do-pot policeman came up and told tho old man he must go out. "And not sell a bottle of my bloof purifier in this crowd?" lie asked. "Come, out you go." "And you don't want a bottle for yourself? You've got a jandice look, and this 'ere stuff will knock the jandico into a cocked hat in just five doses." He was led out and told not to reenter re-enter the depot, but he stood at tho door and said to the policeman through the glass window: ' "All right, officer, all right. If the people don't want my blood purifier they needn't have it. Its the season of purity, but I never go agin the law; and if there's a rampage of billious fever next spring don't say I wasn't around with my pannycea at regular price." |