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Show fAKLlAUS. ! .Slci-ve bmtuii.-i are n-ivr built to hold a rniuimure. I Now Yurt l-IhMk-ii t. . t lo-t at the rate of litiy a year. A Ilo-ion lior-e revinly eommiltcJ suicide by leaping oil the dock. An Iowa firm have lately made out a trancript deed thirty feet lotiif. Jo-i Billings, in h'n new almanaf. : ays: 'I'rudi-.s are coquettes gone to; SL'td." i t Kin.-iai U waiting fur the arrival oi'' a colony of :,m uuw on the way om there. : In Chicago it Is leoomiug popular to : : r-'t vaLcinalcd with virus Iruiu Mrs. i U Leary'ii cow. .TinLs says tliat wedding iing:i outfit lo be reehristened sutler-in ks. lie ha-becu ha-becu married live years. "Clara," a--ked Tom, "what animal dropped from tlie clouds?'' " liain dear," (Ucindeer) was the reply. I The Kt!gHh post olliee sends a letter i weighing an ounce lor a penny, while we pay one-third more tor hull tli ii 1 weight. I A tran-ijlauted Cat m lVtinylvania ; has walked lortymilca in prelerenec to j abiding by the new departure of its ' principals. It is proposed, you J advice, lh;u ; when beaux become loose in their habits hab-its young ladies should give them the "sack." i The combat with the tiger is a ibr-' ibr-' bidden sport in Nashville, and several i gamblers have lately left the arena fur the jail. I Jttch makes the mother of a family i explain to tho rector that they never uso their own horses or carriages on ! Sunday. When they dine out on that j day ther always hire. A widower, on being asked his opin- ion of second marriages, said that as a good wife was a gift of the Lord, it i was wise and right lo replenish as suon i as the supply ran out. A thief recently stole the big pulpit ' Bible i'rom a Ycrmontohurcb, and the i clergyman, in announcing the fact on the following Sunday, said he hoped the purloincr would search it diligently. J.Sinythc Jonos fo rural belle: 'Aw, urns, may I a.-k what is that do wight-fill wight-fill pewieiimc on yoah liawukeicliiel T' .Rural bello: "Shew, that's nothin'. It's them drat led cinnamon draps, , SpOa'C." This is the heading of a paragraph in a Western paper recording a suicide: : Ho blew his head oil'; billious, poor and disheartened; ihe gun muzzle in his mouth, his loe on the trigger, and up goes his hah-. Washington Irving onoe fctiid yf a , pompous American diplomatist: Alu. ; he is a great man, and, in his own csit-' i mation, a very great man, a man of I great weight. When he goes to the 1 west the east tip3- up." . A tMiss True, who has been teaching deaf mutes in lioston, has accepted a call to take charge of a deaf mute in ; the family of a baronet in Norfolk, England, with a liberal salary and travelling trav-elling expenses besides. The Sacramento Jirotnl advocates , the election of a State phrenologist. whoso duty it shall be to prospect the craniums of all aspirants for political ! distinction, with the view of excluding dishonest persons from office. |