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Show Some of Josh Billings' Sayings. The following are a few of the many quaint savings of the late Henry W. Shaw-'Josh, Billings :!', .. ?. " Marriage is. a safe way to gamble. If yu win, yu win a pile ; and if yu luze yu don't luze enny thing only the privilege of living dismally alone and soaking yure own feet. An ejaculation from the "Fashion's Prayer" "Strengthen mi husband, and may his money hold out to the last." Another one "Fill both mi eyes, oh, Fortune, with the plaintive pizon of in-fatuashun, in-fatuashun, that i may lay out mi viktims, the men, as knumb images graven. Of love he says: "Luv iz as honorable disease enuff tow hav, bekause it is natral ; but enny phellow who; has laid sik with it fur several long years, after he gits over it, feels something like the phellow j who has phell down on the ice when it is very wet-he don't feel like talking about it before folks. The munky iz a human being, a little undersized, kivered. with hair, hitched to a tail and filled with the devil. Naturalists will' .tell you.if you ask them, thati am mistaken, that i am mean enuff, and .don't mean to deseave enny-body, enny-body, but thejnunky is not a human being, be-ing, he is simply a pun on humanity, a kind of malishus joke of Jupiter's, a hble with along tail to it, a mistenus mixtur l of ludikrus Tirischiet and stale humor, a : kind of' pasin obbyhoss or -konnecting glangplank between man and his dignity ! and the beastin bis darknisi. . , , rV The see sarpent beats all the snaixtnat have ever put in an " appearanse yet. There ain't but one ov them, and he haz only been seen 5 times az yet. It iz highly important when a man makes up his mind tew becum a raskall that he shud examine hisself clusly, and see if 'he ain't better konstructed for a phool. v ' . 1 I don't beleave in fighting.; . I am sol-emly sol-emly against it; But if a man "gets tew fighting i am also solemly against hiz getting licked. After a fight iz once opened all the virtew thare iz in it iz tew lick the other jpartyC j , : ' Of death he wrote: Finis isthebest' and only friend that menny a man in this world ever haz. ' |