| Show All News Is Not Good GoodNews GoodNews GoodNews News by E. E D. D UttI I am writing this column column column col col- in the Junk News NewsRoom NewsRoom NewsRoom Room of the Salt Lake Tribune For those of you who have never heard of the Junk News room I will attempt to summarize its purpose Have you ever heard of the Dead Letter Office That is where all those letters letters letters let let- which were undeliverable undeliverable undeliverable erable for one reason or another wind up Now you know what happened to those love letters that you wrote way back when Well the Junk News Newsroom Newsroom Newsroom room has about the same purpose All the unusable news ends up here Its the two big locked double doors at the end of the hallway The biggest detour detour detour de de- tour in the tour of the Trib's office Sifting my way through pile after pile of papers I have found some very interesting interesting interesting in in- stories For example TYRANUS UPI Ad- Ad dul Kassim ruler of the Asian country of Outer has condoned the recent attack made by his armed forces against the Embassy in downtown Tyranus In a statement to reporters reporters reporters yesterday Kassim announced that the hostages hostages hostages hos hos- the troops took willbe will willbe willbe be held until his mother the Empress Agatha returns returns returns re re- turns his rubber duckie The Empress was unavailable unavailable unavailable una una- for comment for forshe forshe forshe she died in 1947 4 The Junk News room every newspaper should should- Wait a minute Heres Here's one UTAH TECHNICAL COLLEGE UPI A report has just come in that Ii little orange men from another planet lanet have invaded the Earth In a prepared statement from the Deans Dean's office it was announced that little orange men from Alpha Century had attacked the Calvin L. L Rampton Technology Building on the campus Reportedly Reportedly Reportedly the invaders broke into an Accounting class and subsequently died of boredom Identities of the invaders ers has been withheld pending notification of anybody who cares So that's who they were I thought they had just taken one of Mr X's tests |
