OCR Text |
Show i 3. Jl' JDU10UR THE OBSERVER IF? Today we got a letter from a business man which started put "My Dear Mr. Marshall"and ld ' . Oilman, Nicol & r,ulhj.uan," National Advertising Representatives San Francisco office,; 507 Montgomery .St.; Chicago, oil ice, 410 N. Michigan. Ave.; New Yorkj office, 19 W. 44th St; Boston, office, JTre-mo" " .. i . . Jttdg. thru a wandered-alon- lQt or flow ery phrases like "your favor of re cent date" and "it gives us mucn ' pleasure" and wound up with ' '''."; am, Sir, Yours Most Faith- ruuy . . . and we read It twice and wondered If the:ma'n who sent It out ever took a course In efficiency nt All over America eyfery of stenographers 5.00. N. Gunnar Rasmuson, editor and manager; R. W. Goodell, managing editor; N. C. Hicks, county editor J. A. Owens, advertising manager. m r. UME 1 7 1 AGAIMJAUTU-- : '"I Subscription terms By carrier In the county, J5 cents the month; outside $5.00 the year In advance; by mail in the x county, (4.50; ftuAviP-5 jLsP 1 , ' . Telephones Business oflpe, 495; Society reporter, 107; Editorial room, 4SM. If youdo not f ecelve your papery before 6 p.. m., telephone 495 and a copy will be delivered to your residence. 1 Jiiiu.. : : WAY- - l ARlGMrl&W-- H By Jim Marshall Published by the Herald Corporation, E. C. Rodgera, president, at 00 South Firt Wcetm., X"ov),,Utah, dally. "Entered as a second-clas- s in I'ljivo, Utah. Member olUhe United Press matter at the and the Scripps-CanfieAssociation, NEA tfivvke, Paine Editorial Service, --., - .. . . NewspapiHw; f, county, SECTION TWO PROVO SUNDAY HERALD, SUNDAY, DECEMBER 23, 19?.8. fAKiC 1VVU . - E SMOPHAT-- Vro . j . U I Jl ( -- X': - bAO EVAMPut e -- il - tl IUull f EA jJKiS I'D SJ- j BULL tslOT AROONO VteTCHS .' O l fSKCW'-ri- HE Vr M H 17-- t, , v g -- day-thou- sands ' wast tima-ranand typewriter -- paper ribbon writing meaningless on Expensive notepaper everybody Is "My Dear Sir" of "My Dear Madam" altho the writer and the recep- lent don't know each other'- from don't Adam's off ox and probably " ' want to and down at the bottom there Is some hlore hooey about me, Dear Sir, Ever YoufsTruly" which doesn't pican a. thingand Isn't Intended to phf-ase- Not the Right Way to - ? i. t t I f i. U '' J K s . ' . f. r r ; 0 ; It. everyjwestern highway' arejscores of gasoline ' ' 7t".-A good many people think there are too many of them; that they do not enhance the beauty, of the landscape. ' . One western "automobile club that of Washington state ' proposes to diminish the number of such stations - by7 making IheWTafcetcertificates of necessityT1issued to common, carriers, Such certificates tiow-ar- e power concerns and so forth, by the state board1 of public ' Alon& r About Go works. i sta-tion- ',,"". s. " . - ; - jf )(( ' f man would waste n time having his letters or copied oft an pressor sent out and' deliveredt by a private servant nobody puts a red seal on a ict-ter these days and yet everyon goes oh wast ing time and money over meaning less phrases that nobody reads or 1 believes. and we think we speak for the great army of stenographers when we say that business .would get along faster and more easily with out them Nn hnnlnPRfl .The automobile club should droplts plan at once. It is an unwarranted invasion of private business methods. i If the state can say how many gasoline stations there may be alonga highway, it can say how many xlepartmenfcstore C there should be to a city block. Or how many butdier shops. Or how many taxis may ply for hire downtown, 5: Such power should never be given a state body of any ' kind. . . MM There is on state governments to regincreasing; pressure ''I!' . i ulate hours of labor and conditions" under winch business may be conducted. Legislatures should" resist the pressure and ' ignore, the temptation to meddle with private affairs. I.'! We hold no brief for gasoline stations : the scores of them, ::ir interspersed with hot dog stands, make the highways no You address an "envelope to Johr then on the Inside at pleasanter. But they have a right to be in business without Smith and as long as they conduct themselves law- the top of the letteV you put John state interference ' . Smith " hand-writte- . - !" , - . 1 i i : : . PROVOCATIONS ; . Impotency of It )fC N Fur Neckpiece Some men are so insignificant that the only way they can attract attention is to get up and move that the meeting be adjourned.' POPULAR SCIENCE again but even that doesn t satisfy you and you have to write It in a (Copyright, 1928) third time as "My. dear Mr. Smith" The Howdy, folks! We're afraid we suppose-1- on the theory Litttle Provocation, ir. la going District of Columbia supreme court solemnly issues a Smith found a lettei that to be disappointed this Christ- coinspiracy-notorietyt--to addressed to hrmsplf he would mas. He has asked Santa 6how cause, by February 25, why he should not be held in think it might be for Frank Brown Clas to bring him a Baldwin ' fall to read It . tontempt of court. locomotive and v7000 nilles of ifC 30t )( - A sootnfng reply ought tp be easy for.Blackmer. He can '; track. Tlila salutation stuff on abetter fc l(c S! )( express his real sentiments somewnat like this : is about ns much use as a China Today's Fable: Once upon a time . "I am in France. France refuses to let me be extradited. man's queue the Chlneman found out somV he sports editor of a newspaper I like France and will stay here. It is American justice's next football icked an years agc that he wasn't getting earn move." which didn't contain, tbo out so hr of use his and any queue How like a game of chess is American justice's monkeying had sense lame of a single local 'playef.'' enough to cut It off S $ $ $ $ with that infamous oil conspiracy I and every American knowi" " OUR OWN that a lot of the hooeythat goes ELKVKN into letters Is just as useltfas an; his old conLiving timewastlng and servatism insists on putting it In AND, LISTEN: How far d'yov think we'd get if we insisted or starting every column "My Dear Readers" and ending it with "1 'Xylotrohyyydroxgluatrio- - acid am your obedient servant, Jim X las been recommended by scien Marshall?" tists as a beverage." News Item. ' i Patron at soda fountain: "Give me a glass of Xyltrihy Oh, heck, , V YOUR make it root beer!" fully. yt . This Is Prof. Cuthbert W. Aspirin, famous scientist, who has done much to Improve the lot of the American Prevent Flu Check Immediately Families In Provo Urged to Bo careruii 1 . While grip and influenza are- - bo 2 prevalent, local people are urged to Of all the brainless nuts we know. use this modern way of checking There are non quite so doggone little colds before they become big: - dumb, 'Have a jar of Vicks, VapoRub on? who'll use the sidewalks hand ready for instant use at the As those NOTE ETIQUET as j first sign of every' cold. ..When' Never blow on the coffee In working girl. j :A place to park . their caat-of- f 1 rubbed - on throat chest, or.. your saucer to cooL.it Hold It In j Prof. Aspirin is snubbed up the nose, Vicks releases the man who In gum. . front of an electric fan. ' vented a method .Cincinnati Enquirer. Its Ingredients in the form .of medi cated Vapors which are breathed of preserving the flavor of gum in direct to the Infected parts. Christma Noter Before wrapping stuck on a bedpost overnight. Although this Is a brainless nut, In addition, Vicks acta through", '- them up, be Btire to . remove the - : t A bigger boob by far : . the skin like a poultice, "drawing: pMce marks from all Christmas he who scratches matches on out" all tightness and, pain, loosen-- . It is hard to convince a wife 1 IsThe presents except the expensive fenders of our car! ' that heavy underclothes will lng the phlegm, clearing the head, : ones. . and easing the difficult' breathing". Hi keep her just as warm as a new To prevent colds 'from lowering fur coat. ' Literary Item: The only way the : FAMILIAR ANATOMY can double his read- vitality and thus paving the way . poet average for flu and pneumonia, they Bhould IIX GEE GEE SAYS IT IS is to marry. a be Mlstle-TOtreated direct and Instantly as BETTER TO BE WELL FORMED ing public LEG-ae- y - ' THAN TO BE WELL INFORMyou would an infected finger. .,, . Bolon-KNE- E Art Shannon. AL. THE DUMBBELL CLUB nd - - - y E : ... t : mo DONT SAY "He don't know During the second act the cur-tl- n how". "He doesn't'' Is correct will be lowered 10 seconds to PRONOUNCE "yonder" as if denote a lapse of 150 years. with stress on spelled "yon-der- " "yon". It is not "yun-der.- " DONT USE "hafter" when . yov mean "have to." ADAGE popularly used but often misquoted: "All Is not lost that is in danger" was "AU Is not lost that lyeth in parell," as It appears-I- t Melusine, a French romance of tht 14th century. - CHRISTMAS ... In; Smoking Room CLEANING Miss Helen Ellis of Los Angeles entered her pet cat thus in the southland's recent cat show and won-prise. There were catcalls from , some Of the disappointed competitors but none from the sightseers. Baseball experts have perhaps the best definition of amateurs we have come across. If those five guys Washingon traded for Buddy Myers aren't amateurs, what have" you? - CHRISTMAS SALE W - . Christmas , GET IT FIXED ' , . Now Is your chance to let Santa Claus . repair the metal work on your car. It may be a bent or broken. fender, mud guard or body. We can fix It and make It good as new at very amU coBt Xt us fix It now so aa to have the car ready for the holiday season. , II. Juenke Blfg. Co. 170 fT. " Zr Prnvo, Av?.1 t'tah. IX A JIFFY We are prepared, no matter what may be your hurry, to fill your car with gaa and oil on record breaking time at any hour of the day or night you run Into our auto filling station. Furthermore, we fill your tank and motor with the very best quality of gas and qil. We are right on the job. Service Stations Phons BAM Many distinctive models to choose from Prices to fit any purse. 46 N. 74 University Ave. Phone 156 Provo Utah A SIX AT THE PRHCE OF ArFOUE . BETTER GAS pleasant unless BETTER OIL Get Them at Superior Service Stations I'rovo, Utah 5th West 8C 'fSl Center Phone 74 East Center ORSKAGGS FOOD STORES . - "V m BETTER SERVICE v Y 71 'A RESOLVE TO USE ; some big hearted " person lends a hand." An ' O. P. Skaggs System Store is the -- ideal place to select an assortment of staple .eatables for-th- e needy "family you want to help. We'll lend every assistance in such leases. ..i Don't forget them. ROBINSON'S "SUPERIOR 5th West and Ccr.tor Something New in Make the New Year Better and Happier with a New Chevrolet ' have a Lowest Prices In the West SUPPUED . : who, prosperous times, have met with sick- ness or other misfor- "tune, who will not PLAYER riANOS VICTROLAS Another carload of the famous PACKARD and BOND PIANOS Just received from the, factory. 1W in these PIANOS- ' and a Happy and Prosperous New Year. Unfortunate There are those even No Money Down 5 - Merry Merry Xmas other than prosper ous this Christmas. Some Are - We extend to you pur Rest Wishes or a - getic, and wages have been and are fabulous when compared with those paid only a few years back. Those, who have worked and saved, cannot be self-mad- IMMEDIATE - . - (his Christmas lime. There has 'been work for the ener- . fully. "'Yea, Indeed,' nodded the other, e 'A real widow." Never hang a party dress that is spotted. Either remove it yourself or have it cleaned. Many spots can be taken out easily at first that are impossible to budge later. a Never has our country, generally, been so prosperous as at "Two. gentlemen." said a thickset smoker, gently, ' "were discussing a lady. ' 'Remarkable woman, Agnes,' said one, shaking his head thought- ; in 0 ENGLISH ..PROSPEROUS 3- - . i v - pot-belli- - ., i t (Hill Billy's ,vlews,. in his daily stories, aro his own. They do not, necessarily, coincide with those of this newspaper. EDITOR.).-- , ' I By HILL BILLY . 1 Too many unessentlals in modern urban life; so cuddled and 'protected that, a folded rose leaf under the pillow disturbs. The first cold snap Jias closed Hn upon me; not Arctic cold, but chill enough tp make you snap into it. I call it cold when the ice freezes in the kitchen "water; bucket; when the ground remains un- thawed all day; when the apples in the shed take on a jacket of frost, and I move the cot in beside "but .the stove and require no open window plenty of, sausage and kraut and hot coffee by day. When such a time comes in the hi 11a the fellows rm, rnril,i.. 0 . in, the cabins do not become agitated regarding .the state ef. their Immortal souls, nor the price of - canned mushrooms; they are -- equally uninterested as to whether Tom Mix Fairbanks appear at the cross road movie "palace," and the sad plight of our merchnt marine, does not move them to tears.' arc No, sir.-- When winter comes to the' hills there ' ' two ' ' things and only two ' that intrigue men in cabins; heat and food; heat for animals as well aa for humans; the horses come off the frosted pastures and are grained and given hay;' the dry "cows and the calves are bedded down in the shed and fed; . HILL BILLY the most Important bit of scenery before the cabin dooris the wood nile. and a hunk of salt cork annointcd with plenty of sorgumls a. ' ' '' ' '' ' , . dainty. , cold weather. I was. brought up in a blizzard I personally-hatcountry, and I never was young enough, nor dumb enough, to not know that J hated cold winds and drifting snow and icy sheets. I never saw , a day too hot for my enjoyment, but even" moderate cold I detest. ; Yet these hills so intrigue mfe that I refuse to descend to" the warm south body of me certainly rcnews lowlands, and. tho cold is disagreeable Its youth when cold weather comes and I have"to bust out my fuel with . ax, saw and splitting wedge. stove in the If there is a greater blow than to sit by a hills, with bark and kindling and pitch knots heaped behind the stove; with a satisfied interior garnished with adequate greasy grub; a pup, a cat, a- pipe and a flagon of Northern Spy cider; knowing that tho nags are fed and warmly bedded; that the flivver Is drained, and the lower gate closed and padlocked, I have not met up with It. Boreas plays a hard symphony;, he Is a Wagner; lib sweet, placid Straus,-but he certainly can'make the ed corpuscles dance: ' Another gosb-der- n liar r Is Hnnry T. McFlfe; He says he takes a cold bath : Colds Each morning of his life! d. ', Good Old Boreas By.Williams -- tOSES ALL, tlME HE SAVED T-- 1 : au weA;:.,v vou'uu KeitiA sets'tTme am save ih' v w from oisee TH' " v V4XGETrKi, T- : r "" t- ' r r- - 1 1 fi- - |