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Show X Page AF2 Thursday, February 20, 1986 . (CM AT? PQTfiUr 9 ISO it i WdDJF ttDQ(B EBlcBCIBCIDIPQil Arl"RA THE REP WWH Horrors! Hal needs hair! Park City did not know, when it elected Hal Tailormade as mayor, that it would soon face its own Watergate. With Watergate, we elected Richard Nixon only to find out that he had deceived us had burglarized, burglariz-ed, spied and dealt in illicit money. He obtained office of-fice on spurious grounds. Hal Taylor also came to office on spurious grounds. During the election, Taylor always wore a cowboy hat. So how were we to know that our mayor, the leader of our municipality had no hair!!! Tailormade was not completely honest with Parkites. He should have known the consequences of electing a mayor with no hair. Doesn't he know that TV cameras will not focus on a town mayor if their lights bounce off his head with an unattractive glare? Doesn't he know how many mayors have said, "Gee, HUD was all ready to give us that housing grant until I took off my hat. I wonder if I have ... no hair?" Doesn't he know that the vital hair-styling industry the foundation of any small-town economy won't settle set-tle their business in a town with a bald mayor? We would suggest impeachment for Tailor-made, Tailor-made, but the city council has been combing through a number of solutions to the hair problem. They are prepared to submit several suggestions to the voters in a special election this summer. Among the ideas: A special head-seeding formula could grow Editorial new hair on the mayor's head. A shampoo bomb could be dropped on Taylor's head from a balloon. This operation requires split-second timing and targeting." Using a special growth formula, he could grow his eyebrows very long, then comb them back over his head. The disadvantage here is that many men trying this style have been mistaken for werewolves and shot. Taylor could grow a mustache. Scientific projections, pro-jections, however, indicate his mustache would be of the "caterpillar" variety, leading to jokes and further disrespect for Park City. Councilman Al Hooligan, who has suggested zone density transfers, could bring his philosophy to this new problem. A portion of Hooligan's hair could be transplanted to Hal's head. Taylor could grow a beard. The advantage is -he would look like Ansel Adams and could get Parkites special privileges in national parks. The disadvantage is that Park City's cheese nachos too often become snarled in this kind of beard. Whatever the decision of the Park City voters, it must be made soon. Remember: of what use is it to save the ridgelines if we lose the hairlines? mmwAWi Ax m mat rK" l What are you going to miss most about Park City? r ' " i. i ru) & 4 Janice Perry My husband and son. Pam Hainsworth The potholes. Gloria Johnston The money. Jim Smedley Smoking at 7,000 feet. , i ' I, - r, - Susan Davis My buddy Linda. Jacquee Gillespie All the Beautiful People. 1 u. Bmra UiLUBJ The Park Record (USPS 0037-8370) is published weekly by the News Record Publishing Co., Inc. Second-class postage in Park City, UT 84060 POSTMASTER: Send zddress changes to The Park Record, 1G70 Bonanza Dr., Suite 202 P.O. Box 3688, Park City, UT 84060 Entered as second-class matter, May 25, 1 977, at the post office in Park City, UT 84060, under the Act of March 3, 1897. Published every Thursday. News tips The Park Record welcomes news tips, day or nipht. Call 649-9014 and ask for janWIIklng or Jan Wilklng . Subscription rates 52 issues, mailed weekly $1 1 in Summit County $ 1 8 outside Summit County CHECK ENCLOSED NAME ADDRESS CITY STATE BILL ME RENEWAL ZIP Clip this form and mail it to The Park Record, P.O. Box 3688, Park City, UT 84060. Errors The Park Record makes every effort to insure the accuracy of the information It publishes. If you have a correction, please call the editor at 649-901 4. Deadlines Add Some Class, Bulletin Board: Monday, 5 p.m. Classified advertising: Monday, 5pm Display advertising: needs proof, Friday, noon; no proof needed, Monday, noon Legal notices: Monday, 5 p.m. Letters to the Editor: Monday, 5 p.m Night Music, Friday, 5 p.m. Personal Paragraphs: Monday, 5 p.m. Press releases: Monday, 5 p.m. Note: Deadlines may be altered during holiday weeks Please deliver typewritten, double-spaced In formation in paragraph form by hand or by mall to The Park Record, 1670 Bonanza Dr., Prospector SquareP.O. Box 3688, Park City, UT 84060 Office hours holidays. iuraays, Sundays and Staff Publisher Editor Copy editor Staff writers Darkroom and photography Staff photographer Contributing writers Office manager Classified manager Subscription manager Distribution Advertising sales Production manager Graphics Typesetter Cartoonist janWW JanM Jinwiw JanW J8wiw |
