Show the basement philosopher by KENNETT HARRIS copyright 1911 1711 by W 0 Cbs chapman rwan tho janitor uncomfortably attired in his sunday diagonals and stiffly I 1 starched collar and chewing a badly unraveled inra cigar which he had been unable to light appeared suddenly to his scandinavian assistant who ivas waa in tinkering the valve of a water faucet at the work bench so vie ive caught abu you have I 1 said the janitor sternly around as usual I 1 see the minute I 1 turn my back I 1 i 1 ant go off and an n joy a friends f funeral some something thing that I 1 dont indulge in once a year without you taking advantage of it to neg elect lect your work well it aint no more than what I 1 expected got all the work done havo have you yes you navel havel the sidewalk dewalk el looks like ilka it I 1 bob bet you aint washed it off sanco morning washed it off at noon well what it if you dial did 7 dont you suppose suno solta iab been walked on since then think every blodys going to turn off and tako take tho the middle of the street just because you blushed a little latec on it one timo time be telling me the grass was waa cut last summer as an excuse for not running the mower this year what did you suppose me and the estate la Is par paying you wages for or I 1 thought id be pleased leased for once did you the janita janitor repeated with a glare of increased see here nels my fiend briend when you talk that way vay it sounds liko like up lip and I 1 dont like no lip from you got me what did you think I 1 was going to do take you out andybur you a drink give you a gold watch with your initials in diamonds on the back and jan an engraved testimonial inside the case call a mass meeting of the tenants and ten der you a vote of thanks Plea pleased oh ob sure im pleased continued the janitor sarcastically im tickled most to pieces to come back and find the building still standing right where I 1 left it I 1 diani make no mistake leaving it in your chargo charge yau looked III NOW I 1 GO TO DE AGENT FORMY FOR MY WAGES GUD ayel utter uner it all right albright allright all right you yon aint lot let nobody carry it away avay not a brick missing g as aa far as I 1 can see say dont you think im ungrateful nels because I 1 aint im struggling to hold bold back tears of joy and keep from hugging bugging you of course you might have shoveled that ton or two of coal into the other bin like I 1 told you yesterday it if you wanted to kill hill a little time instead of tooling fooling with things that you aint got the brains to understand dut I 1 aint offering that as no criticism probably somebody told you you was a plumber and you yon have sense enough to know that they was joshing you you aint to blamo most likely that got it all fixed have lave you well aint that nice I 1 dont guess youve put in more than halt half a da day on it either A dollars worth of work on a ton ten cent job your idea of economy fine some of these days I 1 be surprised it if you get that coal fixed and the sidewalk and you thought id be pleased for oncy once say pleased aint no word for it I 1 feel like going out and celebrating aint put in moren ten minutes on it youre elt youre a I 1 guess it aint never occurred to you that you could get quite a start on that coal in ton ten minutes ten minutes dont seem much to a boneheaded bone bono headed mutt whose time aint worth nothing the janitor resumed after a slight pause ile he dont stop atop to figure that there aint only sixty minutes in an hour and ton ten hours in a days work let me tell you something my friend it tako george washington ton ten minutes to sign the declaration of independence and ivo ive seen a ore fire put out in less time that astor kid can earn more money in interest on his bis cap italin ten tea minutes than you could in a week fixing water faucets I 1 dont say he bo could if you was a regular plumber of course different but the point la Is that times money to a man it if he knows how to use it oh ob you aint even took time to eat cat your lunchi fiercely that accounts for the way youve lost flesh since I 1 seen you last no wonder your clothes is hanging banging loose on you and your cheeks choeky is all fell in three now close on and nothing passed your lips since breakfast and then ill bet you oat eat more than five or six pounds of solid food then of course you be expected to shovel coa coal and you was probably too weak t to lift the hose out to the side walk I 1 aint ilni et nothing since breakfast myself come to think of it but abo t ulmor did eat oftener ulan r borso turned out to costura po stura say you yon begin easy with a teaspoonful teaspoon tul fit soup at 1 a time when you do eat es go at it gradual perhaps you aint took time to sleep either cither just juat as like as aa not you got so feverish and worked up over ove thorn them few chores chorea I 1 loft left you to do that you no more than ahan close your ayes and bre breathe atlie hard bard now see hadro nels nela this aint right youve got to think of your health first thing you know have nervous prostration and have to go 90 to a rest curo cure id be ba in a nice fix then I 1 id have to work ten minutes longer of an evening it if I 1 hire tho the mate to you 1 I dont like to have to tell a mu that th athes at hes a chuckle headed loafer pursued the janitor 1 I aint no kick or zd d sooner pat you onsbe back and say bay a kind word to you than not 14 take plea pleasure suro in going to the agent and recommending you for a raise of wages if it go again mv m conscience Bc lenco it if you showed any disposition to do anything except loaf and chev the rag with the lady helps eryou had any git up to you at all if you was a man or halt of a man it if horg hera keep your coat on felsl what two aye you going to do you chump dont abu know when a fellows joh the janitor dodged sh ib the tha egged assistant came at hiro him with blazing e yes eyes and flying fists after that he did the best beat he could for fop hla big weight and size but he found himself on his back on the coal that the assistant had neglected to shovel blinking out of two badly swollen eyes the assistant had already left the basement but came back cl that instant to thrust his bis shook shock head into the doorway it hass bass nod dake me ten minutes he eald now I 1 go to do agent for my wages gud byet |