Show I WITH SHEARS H t AND PASTE E l I A Candidate In the excitement of o a mayoralty nm orally election In iii a small city elt a certain poli 1011 politician who assuredly did not nol owe owa his political prestige to lo either his ed education j FI F or his oratorical ability yeas was J 1 called upon for a speech r j a Tho The of the Uw candidate whom this thin politician was all supporting had scattered broadcast a to 10 that tho lice young oun man was much too young and ami hall hail not nol enough for tho arduous duties of Mayor and I that ho he had not boon been Joen In business basin oes long lOll f E EI enough to lo provo grove that ho hud had goOf good I executive ability Those statements ta the politician undertook un undertook to refute und and wound up with t W tho the words As Shakespeare says In Paradise Lost Loat A mans a 11 man for all yi y that Lippincotts L What She Called It Tho The little litho girl was reading laborious laboriously ct a R Rh ly h See Sel Mary and the lamb she sho Toad l ul slowly Does Mary Mari love the tho lamb buttonhook h Why Wh do you u say buttonhook butlo asked the teacher Picture of or a buttonhook here re reo replied replied plied PilE d the child pointing triumphantly to the Interrogation mark Philadel Philadelphia l lR I phia n Record R 1 Hard Indeed I During a social Bod l function In WashIngton Wash Washington WashIngton ington where one of oC the guests waif wag waga a young man In lit Uncle Sams consular service In tho the cast the tho I fl chanced to touch upon the tho cheapness U of human life in China Chinn S SOne One Ono young woman was Vas horrified to tol learn l tram from the consular officer that a n Chinese condemned to lO death derth may al always alwn always ways wn n lint find a st substitute to die lc in his place How awful exclaimed the tho tender tenderhearted tenderhearted hearted young oung woman Do Da D you k know knowe now ow Ive o e heard hoard of that before and I 1 under tinder understand stand that many a II poor pour fellow In China Chinans euins ns his biB living by b acting as us substitute In that horrible way wn Lippincotts Magazine Waiting Wiling for Him Yes mum said Poetic Pete Pele as us he lie twined an nn autumn leaf through his buttonhole I am a great gront lover loer of ot t thu romantic I stopped at ills din gate gato be lie I saw de sign You did 1 approved tho housewife Well there Is a lot of Idle wood down dawn nt at tho woodpile Just take this ax i and split spilt up half a cord Chicago go it News i iNora Nora Nor Was Wise Nora ora censured tho the house butler buller lOll II it you II must break the vases why wh dont you ou break the cheap ones Instead of or those expensive Imported ones OliOS Oh no laughed Nora Norn orn with a gay flourish of her feather If I 1 broke the cheap ones she Bhe would take lake them thorn out of or my mr m wages Chicago on News ti Somewhat AbsentMinded Would you OU call Tenby an ab absentminded minded fellow follow SDI me Well the other morning ho he I t thought thou ht he had loft left his watch at home homo on and nn then lIlOn pulled It out of his pocket to for forsee see sec If hed to go back bacle and get et It La Suburban Life LICe L u Can This Be True A r v i J t JI L Little i drops of i water w water ll r grains of sand santI for Make Maleo tho the grocers grocers fortuno fortune N Swell to beat tho unto baud tn The Old Old Story Daughter has the tho Duke Duko told you au authe the old old story stor as yet ot 7 Yes he be h says sn s ho he oa op about two Or hundred thousand plunks Kansas rel City Journal rot Sh |