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Show JUST FOR FUN Champ Clark's Visitors. Champ Clark was seated In his office of-fice "in the capitol, surrounded by Democratic friends, when a Republican Republi-can admirer entered. "I want to congratulate you on the Democratic victory," said the newcomer new-comer smilingly. "I have been around Washington for fifteen years and hail got Ihe idea in my mind that the Constitution provided for a RepubUcau victory every two years." "Do you know," said Clark, "a lot of people had the Idea that the probability prob-ability of a Democratic victory was remote? This frame of mind Is best illustrated by a story I heard not long ago. A teacher, addressing her pupils, pu-pils, said; 'Every boy present who would like to be president of the United States raise his hand." Only one boy failed to respond " 'Johnny.' said the teacher, 'wouldn't you like to be president? ' " 'Oh, yes,' wag the response, bat what's the use? I'm a Democrat' Washington Herald. I j A Showing Up. ) Lloyd C. Grlscom, at the Saratoga I convention, said in the course of an interview: "But such a course as that would be taking too evident an advantage of ignorance like the watering-cart man. "A walering-cart man waa driving slowly on a hot day through a dusty 6tret when an old chap from the country shouted to him: "'Hey, mister, yer carts leakln'.' "The watering-cart man glanced back at the streams spurting vigorously vigor-ously from the rear of his cart and said blandly: "That's all right, boss. That's to keop the kidj from gettlu' on bohind, yc know." " Washington Star. Kindred. Senator Root, at Senaior Depew's farewell dinner in his honor In Wnsh-laeton, Wnsh-laeton, said anent his coming Euro- pean tour: "Well, I hope I'll gather over thpre more accurate Information than that which Lady Salisbury's housekeeper used to give her American visitors. "Ijidy Salisbury" had a housekeeper, who, in showln? Amr'cnji and other visitors over Salisbury castle, would p.lwnys pane bcfrirr a painting of Catherine do Melcl and say: "This lovely palntiner is a portrait of Catherine de Medic', sHter of Venus Ve-nus de Medici.'" Washington Star. No Ananias Here. They had hid a qood diy on the moors and the convocation after dinner turned naturally on bag' and sho tincr in general ad in particular. ' ' Wa nl " said the American vlEltor, ! "I reckon I nin't done myself J'is-t'ce J'is-t'ce tod.T). Why, I was out gunning once at home and I bro'icht back nlnetv-nine birds with one shot." "Oh, come, now," chuckled his host pood-naturedly; "why not make It 100 at rice?" "What, sir!" exclaimed Goorge Washington II, "do you think I'd perjure per-jure my soul for one bird?" London Onlooker. How Obtuse. He was very bnshful and sh tried to make It easy for Mm. They wrre driving along the seashore and she became be-came silent for a time. "What's the. matter?" he aked. "O! I feel blue," sho replied, "no-hodv "no-hodv loves mo and my hands are cold." "You should Dot say that." was his word of consolation, "for God loves you, and your mother loves you. and you can sit on your hands " Norman E. Mack's National Monthly. Not Surprising. As the train approiched the city the colored porter approached the jov-la'-fnced gentleman, saying, with a smile: "Shall Ah brush vim off. pah?" "No," he replied," "I prefer to get off In tho usual manner." Princeton Tltrer. Bricks and Mortar. Two Irishmen were arguing who was the cleverer. "Well," &ald Pat, "I'll bet you can t ; tell me what keeps bricks together." "Shure," said Mike. "Its mortar." I "No," said Pat, "you are wrong; that keeps them apart." Exchange. |