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Show Kathleen Norris Says: Married Woman 'In Love Is Helpless Bell Syndicate WNTJ Features. My husband went away for several weeks and during that time Douglas and I became much too intimate. I had never before experienced such absorption absorp-tion in my emotions. By KATHLEEN NORRIS IT IS very hard to be anything any-thing but a complete fool when you are "in love." To be "in love" is to be in a fever, with moments of actual actu-al delirium, and nobody expects ex-pects a person in such a condition con-dition to be capable of making mak-ing wise decisions or of rational ra-tional action. Many men and women marry, mar-ry, enjoy life, raise families, consider themselves fortunate andhappy people, withouthav-ing withouthav-ing known the agonies and delights, the fears and raptures of being "in love." It is a sickness of spirit that makes everything else in life seem dreamy and far away. A woman determines she will not telephone; she cannot wait to get her hands on a telephone. She determines she will not humiliate herself by writing a letter, even as she is inscribing her passionate words on a page. She will not think about him, but she hopes at every corner to meet him, every man's coat or walk or eyes or smile brings him back to her. She will start a conversation, break it off restlessly, determine to lie down for awhile just to dream of him and spring up instantly like a person blinded by sudden pain, to put on her hat and go forth aimlessly to haunt such places as he frequents. A woman "in love" cannot eat or sleep; she is helpless under the neglect or cruelty of the man for whom she is burning with desire, because he is as much her whole world as is the air she breathes and she can do without the one no better than she can do without the other. Unfortunately, to many of our modern women, who are not bound down by housework, child-bearing, a generally moneyless and helpless condition as their grandmothers were, the experience of being "in love" is one that comes after marriage. mar-riage. Engagement, marriage, motherhood, and home-making seem a tame affair beside it. Some man, romantic, unknown, ready with subtle sub-tle flatteries about 80 per cent of being "in love" is mutual flatteries, by the way comes out of the blue, and sensible little Nancy, who up to tin's point has been everything a sweet good daughter, wife, mother, friend ought to be, is carried off her feet and washed out to sea. Ignores the Consequences. That she is living on whipped cream and caviar and terrapin and marrons glacees, and that she is going go-ing to have a good old-fashioned attack at-tack of nauseau and stomach-ache after it, doesn't occur to Nancy. The very fact that this particular fruit is forbidden only adds to its flavor. She knows, looking at similar affairs af-fairs going on among her friends, that after a few months the glamorous glamor-ous Freddie will seem to her just another shallow, simple, selfish unreasonable un-reasonable man like so many of the others. But fever is upon her, her whole body thrilhj and throbs with it, and for a few months of passion she will sacrifice everything she has built into her life and character. Here is a letter characteristic of many I receive, characteristic of a situation that has meant wreckage for a good many women's lives: "Five years ago." writes Alberta, "I was living the quiet life that millions mil-lions of American women live in small towns. I have two sons; they were aged five and three. My huj-band huj-band was a devoted but rather silent and busy man; I was kept busy with the lighter housework, entertaining, en-tertaining, garden, books, friends and nursery. Every day had its duties and problems, and its small pleasures. Jim and I had plans for every week-end, and a three-weeks camping trip every summer. We left the boys with his mother, but were planning to take them with us when they were older. "This was the picture when I fell in love with a man who had recently come to the neighborhood. For one year our friendship was confined to secret meetings, wistful talks, and the exchange of many notes. Then Jim went away for some weeks, and during that time Douglas and I became much too intimate. "I make no excuses for myself, except to say that I had never in my life before experienced such absorption ab-sorption in any emotion; it was whirlwind, earthquake, tidal wave, anything you like, as long as you understand that I completely lost command of myself. Lover Was Married. "Douglas was also married, but childless, and living apart from his wife. He applied for a divorce at once, but settlements could not be reached and there was a long delay. I went to my father and stepmother, stepmoth-er, but was unhappy there, and Douglas and I went to another town and set up housekeeping together. All this time I was intensely nervous; nerv-ous; uncertain and wretched about everything except the supreme reality real-ity of our love for each other. "My little boys went to their grandmother, and Jim never opposed op-posed my coming to see them, but it was a stiff, unnatural sort of meeting meet-ing and gave me more pain than pleasure. The smaller one was quite ill and sometimes I went to sit with him and read to him, but he always wanted me to stay and I could not stay. They were naturally natural-ly never allowed to come to me. "Rather than give his wife the control she demanded of his fortune, Douglas continued to refuse her divorce terms, and for two years we wandered about in a Fools Paradise, Para-dise, telling each other that our love in itself was all that mattered. But it came to me gradually that he was making no plans for our marriage, and about a year ago he suggested my having a little apartment of my own. as he was obliged to travel great deal on defense business. Since we made this change I have neither seen him nor heard from him. |
