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Show ALL SORTS.<br><br> Are not brewers sons of malt eh?<br><br> MISS Scholastic supposed a shingled beach was made to hold water.<br><br> THE man who follows a good example cannot lead a bad life.-N. O. Picayune.<br><br> "BEAUTY is but skin deep." This cannot be applied to a banana.-Keokak Gate City. <br><br> "PLEASE pass the butter," as the man remarked when he sent his goat by rail.-Oswego Record.<br><br> ONE hair in the hash will cause more hard feeling than seven mottoes on the wall can overcome.<br><br> "IF you make it hoptional with me," says the Englishman, "I'll take beer."-Courier Journal.<br><br> MEN who live in glass houses should be conservatory in their opinions.-New Orleans Picayune. <br><br> THE fashionable gait suggests the old play. "She Stoops to Conquer."-Philadelphia Chronicle. <br><br> "MY wife's grand study," says a French writer, "is to know what I don't know and to do what I can't do.<br><br> THIS is dog-day No. 1.-Boston Post. Let us hope that every dog won't have his day.-Philadelphia Chronicle.<br><br> THE individual who points with pride is the woman with a handsome diamond ring.-Philadelphia Chronicle. <br><br> INNOCENCE is a flower which withers when touched, but blooms not again though watered with tears.-Hooper. <br><br> THE Somerville Journal makes it out that the eagle is the aristocrat of birds, because he moves in the highest circles.<br><br> WHEN the phonetic spelling comes into use it will always be rite in order to rite rite, to rite rite, rite.-Andrews' Queen.<br><br> THERE is a spasmodic newspaper published in Maine which has got to be tri-weekly. It comes out one week and tries to come out the next. <br><br> NO MATTER how warmly a man may love his country's flag, he is never happy to see the hen-sign in his garden-pitch.-Boston Transcript.<br><br> A WEALTHY upstart goes to a sales stable to buy a pair of carriage horses. "Here are a sample of fine English bred!" "They will not do." "Why?" "My coachman is a Frenchman." "Well." "If they were raised in England they couldn't understand a word he said." |
