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Show AN INTERVIEWED ACTRESS. <br><br> Maybe the reporter didn't know how to interview an actress and maybe that's why he had so much trouble. Having sent up his card, and being admitted to her presence, he stated his business and she said languidly, "I'm sorry you've come; I don't fancy you newspaper men, and hate being interviewed." Maybe he knew this had just been said for effect, and that she wouldn't miss the interviewer for a heap, but he replied. "Oh, well, then. I won't trouble you. Sorry I intruded. Good day." However, she got to the door first, and said: "Oh, now you're here, I'll oblige you." And he answered: "Oh, no, wouldn't trouble you for the world." "But it won't be very much trouble." "Well, never mind; I don't care particularly about it." "But - but - in - fact - it will be a pleasure." I only objected because reporters always ask the same questions, and then don't print just what you say." "Well, I'll try and do better than that," and they seated themselves. Then he asked: "How did you celebrate your thirty-fourth birthday?" "Eh? - jumping up - "What d'ye mean, sir? You're a mean wretch to ask such a question!" Steps on her lap-dog - addresses the dog: "Drat your pelt, get out!" Then she observed him writing and asked what he was doing. He replied, "I promised to print exactly what you said, and I have taken down your very words." "About the dog?" "Yes." "Goodness gracious! You won't print that?" "I will." "Oh, but that wasn't meant to print." "Can't help it." "Oh, but it won't do. You musn't. Let us begin the interview now." "Very well. Which do you prefer as an advertisement - being robbed of diamonds, run-away with by a hack, or having a divorce suit?" "Sir, I-I-don't do such things! I never heard such questions!" "I promised to try to vary the list you said had become so monotonous. Do you shave your head?" "Sir, of course not! Are you crazy?" "No, ma'am. Which is your favorite liquor?" "Do you wish to order some sent up? Of course you won't say in the paper that I ever take anything?" "Look here, ma'am, I was to print just what you said." "But I don't want you to." "It must be done." "Well, then, if you don't ask me if the audiences everywhere are as enthusiastic as they are here, and what I do with all my bouquets, and if I don't almost feel that I ought to be in a boarding-school instead of on the stage, as I am so young, and if I don't find it very embarrassing to have all the men so madly in love with me, and several bank directors committing suicide because I won't marry them - if you don't ask me those questions, I won't say another blessed word! So, there! And if you print what I've said I'll sue you for libel." - Boston Post. |