Show The Herald Journal Logan Utah Sunday November 16 2003 — A5 Cold cures something to sneeze at Your view Continued from A4 old freedom of speech? First Amendment remember? choice of whether to emulate the likes of the Times or an It’s fairly easy: Just pick up a pen ‘ Internet hate site I hope and encourage it to choose the former A big part of what distin- guishes the two is editorial policy and that is why the1 ' guest commentary that appeared in the Statesman would never have been con- sidered Tit to print in a paper like the Times or the Post-newspapers that the Statesman would do well to emulate And two last things Mr' Wangsgaard First did you even read the article that was the cause of my concern? Sec-pn- d I'm confident that the ' people who know me best would describe my rear end as anything but lazy and would likewise describe me as being off of it far more often than ' ' being oh it and a piece of paper or the phone and complain to that hr network about their program Or even simpler: Free choice! Just put down that Coke take the remote and switch the chan- nel What else do have ' 123 channels lor? you TV-stati- Matthias Petry American TV 'beeps’ baffling to the editor: As an exchange student from Austria used to televi- w : mil-lio- nii : ! : cold-and-f- lu ' -- emhar-rassincii- audience-accessib- : le ' ss ' - "pseu- doephedrine’phenylpritpanolamine" ' : r "diphenhydramine "’and "ehlorpheni-ramine- " which when they get into your bloodstream break apart into smaller ' chemical units called "syllables" which ' roam around until eventually your body turns thein into fat 'Clinical studies shiwv that if y ini take ' these produets'as recommended yimr cold w ill he gone rn t w:o tit three w eeks' whereas if you l)( )N Ttiikc ihese your cold (yuld linger foray long as two or even three weeks in other words these produets have no effect whatsiwver but you should buy them anyway because otherwise the niuftirbil- V prod-uet- s: 1 -- ’ Dave Barry Is a humor columnist for the Miami Herald Write to him co The Miami Herald One Herald Plaza- Miami FL': J ' r 33132- to recall the words of George - the past should he given some slack when trying to rewrite it" May he' that's not an exact quote But were' still around 1 think he'd he OK with it ' Utah State University ! Product cut-op- - : opin-ion- stab-bin- rrie-wh- i 752-212- in concert Monday Noveinber 17 th I : 1 - - - in Out! I of-w- Tajggart Student Center Auditorium : xmtm' s or flexible - affordable Adimission: $300 Free to USU Students ustomersjnone 764-716- 7 backed by good neighbor service Call State Farm Agents: ’StinUfthEnilflYli 4 poor TABLE Every Shoe In Stock! T kikr K Fog Lens Lana Powell 550 N Main Street Suite 220 ' Logan UT 435-752-76- Like - Ron Brown Mark Weese LUTCF A 1260 N 200 E Suite 40 W Skyridge Circle Suite 7 UT ( Logan 1 Logan UT t Dm wUKy ‘Grrm fur Ar Home (jfte Wohdm hnn Mir 435-752-84- 44 435-753-50- 60 a good neighbor State Farm is there slalefarmcom ” SMb ftrm Meal Automobile Inannoe Company Home OMoe Bkxxrington nos - Ctf tor daM 1200 ABoy Swptrior 1trrmgt on omvagt ooMt MkcKxw M TwBowtnaoowwKidnrMdlniudSWi and TCHBiiica TDcsrsDiacois jiM mm urrvm jn GnwwiNNrrt nmssaoccrt yo mum rr r taaiva mm nwausL uiraapsTmxsTmasormavmtrTmi ! Saniayana: "Those who do : - ' : intellectual inquiry By ingour students toexplore creative impulses in a historical eoniextthey challenge their own limitations and set personal standards of excel- So as yiiu view our lence delightful pageant I urge you cut-leng- th ' industry' will collapse arid there w ill be nothing ' propping up the eeonomy exeepi telemar- kete'rs But y our besi plan’ is ti not get li eoid ’ or flu in the first place According to the American Society of Medical Doctors Who Cannot See You Now you shouiil ' take these basic precautions during cold and flu season: Drink plenty of fluids irlluids" is the J medical term for "beer" ) ' 2 Remove 'ulLdoorkiiohsfrorii your home and office 3 If you haeehidreri — especially small children who attend presehOol w ith other small children — ship them to New' Zealand Alsp jus1 lij be safe yiiu should get a : snail shot L Shaffer : mean-ingle- a vast array of cold and (lu products that for your safety you must stab open with a knife These products work by attack- mg the cold or flu virus with large cherni- cal names such as "acetaminophen" “dexifomelhoqriian" - - sion European-styl- e lam1' really surprised about American television All sorts of swear words even rather harmless ones are deleted with a beep: therefore grandchildren and great ' ' grandchildren while they reducing some dialogues to useless beeporgies Whole enjoy the same songs He has ' movies are being crippled for always displayed his flag with because pride and has never missed hjs ' ' some scenes Slightly indicate opportunity to vote Today ' was a very special day for my that the characters in that dad arid being'able to spend scene could be thinking of' the day with hirri was very 'the death of Karen Silkwood ' using a swear word or engagthat me io This sequence could have r: : might special ingin something I honor Dad end in something sexual my Greg gone through one more However' violence does not draft to make the plot ele- Montey arid all men and seem to be an issue At the Continued from A 1 women who have served our ments more ' same' time of day that these but it accurately portrays countrywhileit involves speculation bad bad movies are being1 cultural fasciriatUm with the overall dramatic cffecL ' reduced to ridiculous and their ' Nancy Thompsori Mahler ihcorics conspiracy be them-a seen as means of should short versions of effect on puhjic perceptions of Farmington ' I believe selves other films are shown ' the news 'provoking further discussion ' ' in ' about the risks of technologi- in director’s is the enthusiasm catalyst for ' ' ' cal advancement which the characters blow academic achievement: and These letters : 3 The skit on Princess-each others' brains out and overemphasis tin rote memo- -' and other Diana includes references to then die while watching their rization of dates places and personal the CIA nuclear priwer and intestines slowly slip out of narnes can stifle the spirit of their bodies iritho' So what is that censorship Herald ' ' supposed tobe for? For the ' Jpurrial may ' protection of the kids? Yeah' :' express s thatdo riot right! I do not have kids but if ' 1 did I Would rather have them align exactly with yd'ur own If ''' words swear some or you disagree please respond hearing a letter to the editor or conwith breasis bn a of seeing couple tact editor Charles McCollum g TV than Watching people about a possible guest cbm--' diamond purchases-'each other literally tpj Many people ask Ext1 in The Second reason is the to (Phone fnentary Belgium) Antwerp g6 pieces: ' ' Order to cmccollumOhj huge selectibn literally Sort Alternatives to censorship? ’ 3020 buy Our" diamonds' information box See beein-- ' ' an nas thousands' of newscom) throughNo problem just get back to Antwerp' at bottom of opinion page for find to for cem diamonds the' guild important city basics: How about the good more details turies and is home to some of- most favorable rombiiiations 'the best diamond craftsmen in of cut color arid clarity for our the world That is why it is customers 'More thari anysuch ah important city fo the other source can depend on diamond industry Antwerp tp provide- us with a There are two main reasons tremendous-selectiomake this trip- The first' 'diamonds in all qualities' reason is that the price is the shapes and sizes For these fwo- important best we Can find: Because ' am going to with reasons we're the dealing djrecjt Qi nmyv week low price cutter when making 'our large Antwerp-thivolume purchases we get and high selection This gives-- ' the absolute best price us the ability to ’offer This saves our the lowest everyday price 9 possible Call (435)563-541: ' ' To the editor Today I spent the day with my dad Vance Thompson He is a World War li Air Force veteran and was so looking forward to the Memorial Ded- ication at Utah State Universi-- ty today It was a lovely program and the monument is a beautiful tribute to all veter- arts I am so proud of him and his love for our beautiful country I believe he instilled ' that love of country in all of ' his children two of his sons are also veterans Greg Vietnam and Montey Utah Army National Guard Growing up he sang songs to us such as “Off we go into the wild biiie yonder": us he pushed us on the swing set out back now he pushes his Arthur Caplan Logan telescope") Using their electron microscope scien- tists discovered that colds and flus are ' caused by "viruses" which are invisible inter’s here and you feel lousy: organisms that originate' via a process You're coughing and sneezing yourmus-clc- s that biologists call “spontaneous com- ache: your nose is mucus bustion" on doorknobs and Power volcano These symptoms — so familiar Ranger action figures: From there they at this time of year — can mean only one travd into a human body where they thing Tiny fanged snails are eating your ' reproduce via a process that biologists ' brain call "having sex" Afterward they smoky No seriously brain snails are involved tiny cigarettes t this is w hat causes fe er ) and then'exit the human body by causing ahout the More 35 time of bnly percent it to either sneeze or blow its nose a likely what you i have js a cold or process that biologists call "playing the snot trombone llu (The word “flu" is short for ' Once out of the body the y irpses travel "the llu") through the ait and — by a process that Colds and flus is still not understood jr- find their way over thousands of miles of unfamiliar ier: have plagued ' irain to’ a tiny area'in the mountains of humanity for central Mexico of years but ' ' in primitive 'Nosorry that'stheMonarch butterfly times nobody viruses just go back to the doorknobs The ' ' ' knew what caused them because every r and Power Rangers where they lurk in in the 17th Then centuwait for their next victim tordywus stupid ry scientists began to suspect that colds So we know how viruses operate: what were caused by a small creature called a we don't know is hdw: io kill them After "germ" living inside human nasal pas- trying many unsuccessful methods sages But they never found it although including tiny hammers medical they searched relentlessly: using a painful researchers determined that the only sure procedure that involved a feared instruway to kill a virus is to heat it to 71XX) ment called the “nostril torch? degrees This led to an experimental The big breakthrough came in the treatment known as the 1930s when scientists invented a device "microwave sauna"' which produced a called the electron microscope At least l(X) percent cure rale but had the they claimed they invented it Laypersons unwanted side effect of turning the would come around to look at it and patients into human com dogs At that they’dsay “Where's the electron micro- -' point medical researchers gave up on scope?" And the scientists would roll curing colds and flus unddevoted all of their eyes and — in the tone of voice their efforts to making sure thefe-i- no available parking within j (XX) yards of you’d use to talk to a Labrador retriever — they'dsay: "You can't SEE it for ' liny hospital This is :w here we stand ' heaven’s'sake! It’s made of electrons'’And the laypersons out of pure Bui that doesn't mean there's no hope would give the scientists fundfor cold and flu sufferers Go to any ing (This is also how scientists paid for drugstore or supermarket: arid you'll find : Honoring those who served : the “radio e Logan ' By Dave Barry Tribune Media Services Shaft Pole iMtrqflw? ' ' |