| Show rrr 9f" nrrrrmmn The Herald Journal Logan Utah Sunday February 6 2000 — Page 9 1 Would “Bill and the Bracts” be a good name for a rock band? (Answers: 1 Part of a plant 2 No' but “The Foliage Eaters” would) Another question is: How did Ohio By Dave Barry Tribune Media Services death such as not moving for several days or purchasing an Oldsmobile But here’s what really gets our “researchers" goat: While at Ohio State University were busily State University conduct this stuffing poinsettias down the throat research? Did researchers actually of an innocent child a feed 300 poinsettia bracts to a potentially MUCH greater menace to child? How? ("Eat your humanity was running loose in the bracts Jason or NO MORE POKE-MOvery same state (Ohio) We know this CARDS FOR YOU!”) And because we have received from an does this experiment really prove that anonymous source who shall remain poinsettias are safe? We personally nameless a newspaper article from children eat a the Oct 29 1999 edition of The nave seen LOT of things that would probably Youngstown Ohio Vindicator which kill an adult such as “Fruit Roll-Up- bills itself — and not without reason which we do not believe are — as the premier newspaper in the fruit at all We believe they are foci Mahoning Valley This article which offspring of a biological mating we are not making up begins with and the following statement: experiment involving Kool-Ai- d “WARREN — The possibility that flypapet So our feeling is that you radioactive muskrats are lurking in should resist the temptation to the city bothers Pierson ’Butch’ rush out and start wolfing down poin- - Butcher Jr” settias Instead you should take the The article states that Butcher an wise scientific precaution of serving unsuccessful Republican candidate them to dinner guests ("Marge try for the Warren City Council had said some of this delicious it was possible that local muskrats and then watching the guests were eating radioactive materials closely for common symptoms of they found on the grounds of a w e have ome important newt for those (tf you who have been harboring an urge to eat poinsettias This newt In professional journalism die first thing we do when we need to check out this type of story is try to find out what a muskrat is The sum total of our knowledge on this subject is the song “Muskrat Love” performed by The Captain and Tennille both of whom are incredibly still at large So we checked the encyclopedia N -- Harrisbnrg Patriot News sent in Pa 50-pou- nd by alert reader Keren Durkin makes this fascinating statement: “Despite persistent rumors sure NOT poisonous Ohio Static University testing has found child could eat more that a than 500 poinsettia bracts with no ill poin-setti- as con-sume- 50-pou- nd effects other than possibly a sick stomach from eating that much foliage The two questions that immediate- ly come to mind are: 1 What is a “bract”? Butcher Jr Mr Butcher further stated that he had read an article somewhere regarding reports of radioactive deer in Pennsylvania So to summarize the key findings of our investigation: 1 there may or may not be radioactive muskrats andor deer in Ohio andor Pennsylvania ’ 2 Just in case both of these states should be evacuated immediately 3- Another good name for a band ’ would be “The Radioactive ! Muskrats” 4 Speaking of musical groups if The Captain and Tennille ever decide to try for a comeback the obvious song for them to do would be “Ifole which states that muskrats are' “closely related to voles” We have never heard of “voles” and suspect that the encyclopedia is just kidding Love” s” article r Warren” 30-pou- article ip the DeE 51999 edition of the The so-call-ed 50-pou- nd comes from an ! recently demolished power plant By way of rebuttal die story quotes the mayor Democrat Hank Angelo as stating: ‘“There are no green glowing-eyed rats running foe streets of ’ around Armed with this information We called Warren Ohio and spoke with Pierson “Butch” Butcher Jr who it turns out is not a shy person During a lengthy and rs wide-rangi- ng interview he stated that although there are muskrats running around Warren and SOMEBODY at a public meeting expressed concern that they (die muskrats) might be radioactive that person was not Pierson “Butch” 5 In which case please pass the poinsettias ' Dave Barry is a humor columnist for the Miami Herald Write to him co The Miami Herald One Herald Plaza Miami iFL 33132 The Dave dent campaign needs you! Check out Barry-for-Pres- Dave's Web at pite http:wwwheraldcomdavebary for secret orders Lawmakers Here is a list of addresses US SENATE-UTASen Robert Bennett and phone numbers for' Cache Valley's representaRepublican — US Senate tives in the US Senate and Washington DC 20510 Office Building H House of Representatives and the Utah and Idaho legislatures 224-544- R 1567 Doug Thompson Lynnwood Ave Logan 753-- (208) 4 524-59- LOGAN-MAYO- US MEMBERS Thomas Kerr 35 N 1400 2 East Logan Alan Allied 1535 E 1500 4 North Logan 752-315- 753-822- Jan Pearce 727 N 150 9 West Logan Steve Thompson 37 S 9 200 West Logan Karen Borg Logan 753-359- 753-601- V To call your Utah Senator Hansen 5 at the Senate: (801) ties) Represents 538-103- Jo 20510 US 2 (202) Idaho office: 801 E Sherman Room 193 Pocatello 236-681- Drive Brigham City UT 5 84302 Home phone HOUSE-IDAH- O Simpson Republican — Represents 2nd Congressional District which includes Franklin County 1449 Longworth House 7 723-203- I iii Senate District 25 (Cache Rich Summit coun- 752-261- Continued from Page 8 Support Center Cache Valley Learning Center a medical complex a veterinary clinic the IOOF Lodge four churches foe new Children’s Justice Center and the new Detention Center There was a town meeting and many questions were raised so a second meeting was held More information was presented to the neighbor- hood Many of foe safety and traffic concerns were dis- pelled CAPSA tried to make the project more compatible but the size Mill remained A petition in support of the city’s General Plan for SFR zoning compliance was signed by more than 150 nearby resi- r dents No reference was made against CAPSA specifically because we are not against them We believe they provide a good service to our city We just need single family residences there! A report was prepared by foe Director of Community Development for the Planning Commission’s review Upon reading it we found it filled i :v- j - choice between two rights The vote was tied and she was called on to make foe deciding vote Stating that a school for the blind located by her home in California had not proven detrimental to foe resale value of her home she voted in missioner who was on the Planning Commission when the city zoned this property spoke gf the intent the city had to stabilize this area when they rezoned this particular property and made a plea that foe 753-004- 0 : I business 3 j £ 'r 'f UTAH HOUSE Kffoillmwmda0 frknsf Should we take pity on CAPSA as there is no doubt they provide a needed service for our community or do we do what’s right for foe neighborhood? We choose to be part of those appealing this decision We challenge the community to rally and find a more suitable location for this project a location that won’t rob an area of their dream of a stable well balanced neighborhood but one that will enhance it flict of interest failed to abstain from voting We were very saddened to think that any city official' who we expect to be highly ethical here in our charming city of Logan would abandon their integrity to see this project approved The chairwoman noted that this was a Tonya Buckley is Logan and in making everyone feel pityfor them Every person who spoke up in opposition also made it very dev that they do support CAPSA and came up with great alternatives for other appropriate possible locations and use of current vacant facilities in foe northwest area and in Logan A contractor mentioned that he had been inter- - District ' 1376 ’ 847-287- WATER SOFTENERS WATER HEATERS I UglTVun SimkT iiT Yifl DISPOSALS PRESSURE REGULATORS MORE a resident of representative at Logan Regional Hospital A TAX RETURN ' the future It takes knowledge experience planning and representation to make the ISIPC tax laws work to your advantage We invite you For the maximum tax savings to Compare our Commissions available see the tax and business consulting firm of Certified Public Accountants and Fees Stmn Parkinson in Every tax return is reviewed by another CPA to assure quality America MEMBER NASD ShaRMAmfmon ItogiiM Ro CD Stocks Bonds Mutual Funds Options Annuities and Insurance Services We also offer and service mail business BAs 401(k) Bra li Cook and retirement plana 175L 1600 N lopn UT 84341 4 SicuritaAiiiiitaacmcltanakwhigtaWaieidrtginaiUiicuritabinlertM-atat siscsiriad by NaionalFifwiciris M custom sooouieriSacuriiasAinsriM Rdritytawrimata company and laciiw 1895 irtfcnaocounlprotocSon cm D Cook cm RfchvdKftMlNncm OaniriGiSMIkirimcm Moria L Hunan cm Kannrih It CanMdL Mmcm Brian Shoal cm Troy R Marin Now located at: 752-850- Cook Dorigatti & Associates PC m cm RtturiLDoriBriliMacm bright n to adtiion to taa SOOpaNididtytaSicuatalnwilorkPnMtaCOpoiiaon(SFCi Cutomsn an IwtfcM pmtoclad agiM ta ton of sscisBas h amount up to $100 mion of Wfch 8100000 maybe in cariL Thtodoee not prisd you Ion mew ton CWGrowrcm ' ' Randy WMaworih ja RoBarMrikcm 28 7235 N 2600 West Preston ID 83263 Homo and business phone 852- - a patient account Securities dwellings tation House (indudes Franklin County) — Robert C Geddes We offer tax planning ideas and strategies to save you taxes and lack of stability The hearing CAPSA representa- lives gave a wonderful presen- IDAHO HOUSE Ws search for deductions you may have overlooked for addtional tax isavings has neighborhood suffered more than others in terms of an influx of poorly Commission held a public iiur I1&X TSIi ' west ‘ f 5 wonderful CAPSA is Howevit did reiterate “The north- : Springs o er Logan City General Plan talks about foe dream the desire of residential neighborhoods to maintain stability and enhance the quality of the area” On Jan 27 the Planning da House District 32 (includes Franklin County) 7— To oaH your Idaho senator 'John Tippets 65 E Center at the Senate or your repre- St Bennington ID 83254 6 sentative at the House: call Home phone ntobui To call the Utah House of Representatives: (801) 538: personal opinions on how ly j 1 1 Senate District 32 (indudes Franklin County) — Robert L Geddes 370 Mquntain View Drive Soda Springs ID 83276 753-501- 752-430- ' ' ' approved integrity and keep it’s promise to the neighborhood to have homes here One commissioner failed to abstain from voting due to her conflict of interest even after stating previous CAPSA ties Another commissioner who lives in foe vicinity which in itself could be a possible con- concerns but many irrelevant multi-fami- 83720 favor and the permit was city should maintain it’s with not only the technical data and the neighborhood defined ID IDAHO SENATE House District 5 (Cache) — Evan L Olsen Ward 2009 S 3200 West Young Ward UT 84339 4 Home phone ties) — Lyle W Hilfyard 175 E 100 North Logan UT 84321 Home phone ested in budding homes there for years only the property had not been available (hie com- Boise i 753-615- i t 258-501- : 393-836- 2 Mike 83201 (208) Michael Crapo Republican —111 Russell Senate ID Senate District 24 (Box Elder Cache counties) — Peter C Knudson City 1209 Michelle 224-275- Statehouse esentatives UT County) — Craig Buttars 540 S 1600 West Lewiston UT 84320 Home 5 phone House District (Cache Rich counties) — Loraine 435 E 900 Pace ' North Logan UT 84321 4 3 Fax Phone Salt Lake City UT 841 14 53 625-587- High- : 854-376- Utah office: (202) 225-041017 Federal Building 324 25th St Ogden UT 84401 7 or (801) Larry Craig Republican — 520 Hart Senate Office Building Washington DC 83720 To write your representative: The Honorable John Doe Idaho House of ReprID ‘ Rep Eli Anderson senator at way 102 Tremonton write your and ask for the person by name To write your senator The Honorable John Doe Idaho Senate Statehoiise Boise 0 the Senate: The Honorable '84337 Home phone John Doe Utah State SenaHouse District 3 (Cache tor Room 319 State Capitol Rayburn Building US House of Representatives Washington DC 20515 USSENATE4DAHO — DTremonton 8790 W Guest commentary ) 1029 To write a Utah representative: The Honorable John Doe State Representative State Capitol Salt Lake City Utah 84114 House District 1 (Cache Box Elder and Tooele coun- 1 UTAH SENATE H 1st Congressional District which indudes Cache County Washington office: 2466 84138(801)524-438- 225-553- 3 83702(208)334-195- Republican — Utah office: 8402 29515 (202) Idaho office: 304 N 8th Room 325 Boise ID 5 James Federal Building 125 S Salt Lake City UT COUNCIL State SI 0 LOGAN-CIT- Y 236-677- HOUSE-UTA- 33 ington DC 20510 (202) 224-52- 51 DC 42 Utah office: 4225 Federal Building 125 S State St Salt Lake City UT 84138 (801) Sea Onin Hatch Republican — US Senate Wash(202) Office Building Washington Washington DC 20510 (202) 224-61Idaho office: 801 E Sherman Pocatello ID' 83201 Certified Public Accountants 632 North Main Fa (433) 732-6M- 6 Lopn Utah 84321 Office (435) 750-556- 6 cdaWcdacyaxom Working to save you tax dollars ’ SftvtKrihMMrt nr-- -‘ I |
