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Show Thursday, March 15, 1928 "l Appreciate Lucky Strike' Says George 1VL Cohan America's Stage Favorite "Good old Luckiest We've been pals for years, Andlike an old friend they treat me well No irritation to my throat and no coughing. And I ap predate Lucky Strike, the full body tobacco tobac-co with the toasted flavor that's been the same since that day we met" 6 No Throat Irritation -No Cough. 1928, The American Tobacco Co., Inc. Timepiece Hailed as. , Unique Among Clocks What is said to be the most Intelligent Intelli-gent clock on eartii was recently In-tented In-tented by Frank Fontana, a San Francisco Fran-cisco Jeweler. The unique timepiece not onl tells the time in San Francisco Fran-cisco and 2.'$ other cities at the same time, but It also gives the moon phase, date and day. Although the entire clwk is only 18 by 13 inches square it contains something like 500 separate parts, most of which are in plain-view. Ii took the Inventor seven months to build the clock. As early as the Eighteenth century It was very common practice for clocks to be equipped to tell, besides the time, the- month, the day of the month, phases of the moon, etc. But for some reason the practice did not become general. Notwithstanding, the modern "priuce of clocks" holds the record of all time !n the number of performances. Pathfinder Magazine. Extremely Tight "And .1. Hawk McNoodie is a tight one, says you?" "Tight? That fellow wouldn't ifive ifK2Hr a bite if he owned the Sandwich Sand-wich islands." Judge. Welcome to It To you think I shall win your sister's hand, Eric?" "I hope so. At present about all she tses It for is to clout me with." A good rainbow is splendid enough, merely as a sight, without any pot i gdd at the end of it. Every lonesome person should have an open grate fare to sit by. It makes him lonesomer and happier. A brick manufacturer has some ex-use ex-use for wanting the earth. FOR MEN, fefj Despite comrcd mte i where. ! v TO F 5 J V!HrH' WLDoiteSlioes !:j J"? I TO : ? t J LiHlCHVrviJS The Cream of the Tobacco Crop Catches Speech Flaws Correct enunciation is soon learned with the aid of the telegraphone, a new device used In public speaking classes at the University of Southern California to enable students to hear themselves talk, Popular Science Monthly reports. Like a dictaphone, it records and reproduces the voice, but the record is so perfected that when It Is played over It reveals any Imperfections of speech such as Indistinct In-distinct tone or lisping. When You Feel a Cold Coming On. Take Laxative BROMO QUININE Tablets Tab-lets to work off the Cold and to fortify the system against an attack ot Grip or Influenza. 30c Adv. In Reserve "Marie, wouldn't you like to marry a thrifty man?" "Yes, I should like to marry one but I should not like to be engaged to one." Berlin Ulk. Almost as Good "Why did you put that mud turtle in your sister's bed?" "Because I couldn't find any frogs." American Boy. Are They Married? "Do you know I have a very stcall mouth? In the glass It does not look large enough to hold my tongue" "It isn't." Tit-Bits. Scenario "What are you doing now?" "Adding a second story to Uncle Tom's Cabin." When a man has more money than he knows what to do with then Ignorance Ig-norance is truly bliss. Some men attempt to do a main-tent main-tent stunt on side-show ability. -' -- - THE NEWEST STYLES FOR SPRING 1 . America's Best Known Shoe here's A WAY TO SAVE MONEY! Heal Ac foUoiving statement . . . .- lis ve cone UO fre ."VVaf monthi wTl Dougla, .t the prcva:lmp W. U BW- - mm.. knna oue . L. DOUGLAS SHOE CO. THE LEni SUN, LERI, UTAH I " ' mini i 1 n easy lessons in i AUCTION BRIDGE I a .l B'AUl H- SEYMOUR Author of "Hlthll -hu oa Auctioa Brja" " . 9 O , . . Q - (Copyright, by Hoyle. Jr.) Article Twenty-Seven. The Elimination Play in a Declared Trump HpHE following deal illustrates the A elimination play in a declared trump: t. T. . I -te, t, T. I -A.I -. , t -Q.4 O-O. T. I. V-A,K,J,, -10. 1.T.I N W E -J.t. . . -A.K.J.I.I 7 8, C -K. 8,4 -A.Q. South deals and bids one apade; West bids two hearts, North can count three assisting tricks, hnt aa that Is not enough for a raise he passes. East vass.es ana south says two spades which wins the declaration. West leads the King of hearts, dummy's dum-my's cards are placed on the table with the spades at his right band, as is customary, and declarer counts his probable tricks. Having nine trumps in the two hands with Ace and King he will not finesse but will play for an even break of the four adverse spades. He expects five tricks here. He can get three in diamonds by trumping the third round in dummy. This will give him eight tricks; but to go game he will need two tricks In clubs. If he takes the finesse and It loses he cannot get two tricks in clubs nor his game. This suggests to him the possibility of the elimination play. If he eliminates diamonds and hearts from his band and puts senior In the lead with dummy's last heart senior will have tS lead either a club up to his major tenace or a red card which he will be able to trump In dummy and upon which he can discard his queen of clubs. He therefore proceeds and the deal Is played as follows : W N E S 1 HK HS H H HA H7 HQ HS I DS DA D D4 4 . . H4 H9 CI SS I . S2 S5 S4 SA - S10 S SQ SK T . . . D7 D2 D5 DK 5 D9 S7 DJ D8 HJ H10 C4 C 10 . . . H5 S Ci CQ 11 . . CIO" Ct CI CA it mo ce cj s; II - - CK CI DQ SI Declarer wins four odd tricks. At trick 3 West knows that his partner and the declarer are both out of hearts, so he changes to a diamond. Declarer must trump one Jieart so that he may use dummy's last one to throw, the lead to senior. The remainder of the hand works out as declarer had foreseen and at trick 10 It makes no difference what West leads, a diamond or a heart or a club. The following deal shows a bit of clever defensive play: -Q,io,, v-9, 1 O-10, 9, , I -. 4, t -A.1. 4,t V-K.J.I O-Q.l. 4. t -4, 1 9-7,5,1 -K.J.I Q. 10, 1. T W S 4-K, 6 9-A.Q, 10. 1.4 0-A.7 -A,K.J. South deals and wins the declaration declara-tion by a bid of one heart. West opens with his fourth best club the seven spot and dummy is spread. Declarer wants to lead the hearts from dummy and. will pass the nine spot through for the double finesse. But dummy does not appear to have a single entry card unless he can draw the Ace of spades by leading the KIne and thus make an entry out of dummy's Queen, nowever, upon apply ing the rule of eleven declarer finds that Junior has no club as high as the seven; therefore dummy's nine will win the first trick and place the lead where he wants It He proceeds and plays the hand as follows : W H E S 1 . . . C7 C9 C CI t . . . H2 H9 HJ HO t ... SI SS SI SK 4 . . . S7 SQ SA S ( . . . Dl D5 DS DA . . . HS HI H HA 7 . . . H7 CI HI HIS 8 . . DJ D D D7 t . . . DK D9 Df H4 10 . CI C4 CI CA 11 . . . CIO D10 S4 CK IS . . SJ S9 S8 HI 11 . CQ S10 DQ CJ Declarer wins three odd tricks. At trick 2 junior foresees the of the nine snot and balks de clarer's plan by covering with the Jack. This throws the lead into declarers hand and he leads the King of spades hnnins to draw the Ace and make aum my's Queen another entry card. Again innlor snoils his plan by aoiamg up the Ace. Declarer therefore cannot catch the King of hearts nor make dummy's spades; thus by his two good plays "junior saves three tricks, keeping keep-ing declarer from his game and a small slam. Legend of the Rose That the rose Is the flower of love Is the theme of one of the oldest stories. sto-ries. All the feathered tribes appeared ap-peared at the court of Solomon, to lodge a complaint aboot the nightingale. nightin-gale. His night song disturbed their sleep, they said. The nightingale. In evidence, swore that his frenzy was due to his distracting Jove of the rose. Solomon saw the point, and ae quitted hi ai i 1 HoweAbout- Bell Syodlcat. WNU atrvlc If 1 have any sense now, It Is a tribute to the knowledge an ordinary man may accumulate naturally as he stumbles through life. For originality I did not have any, and those about me had little. The school teachers of my youth bad scant education, probably, but I do not know as to that, as It happened hap-pened I did not much associate with them. I attended country schools at Intervals until ten or twelve years old, but took no Interest In their sessions; ses-sions; they were poor and unattractive, unattrac-tive, and I attended them as a dis agreeable duty, as I chopped wood, I or went after the cows, husked corn, or stripped sorghum cane with a , forked stick. The little I know came to me front contact with the necessary activities of life. I have selected the best with that spirit of selfishness which lies at the bottom of everything. I have avoided poison for my mind as I have avoided it for my body; I quit a mistaken notion for the same reason that I quit a food that does not meet the requirements of food. A really good job steadies a man more than anything else. A man having one Is less apt to disgrace dis-grace himself than one who Is here today and there tomorrow. The man with a good job knows the part reliability, politeness, fairness, played in getting it; he knows how apt bad conduct is to result in his disgrace. Note the men arrested for crime. A very large per cent of them lack good Jobs, respect at bank counters, and In their neighborhoods. Note the men arrested for thievery, drunkenness ; it is said of mighty few of them that they have good Jobs. A good job will steady a young man as nothing else wllL He may be unfaithful un-faithful to email duties, but will hesitate hesi-tate about proving unfaithful to a good Job. . 1 met a rather smart fellow the other day who has a lot to do, and attends to it rather faithfully and successfully. suc-cessfully. He told me be could spend all his time reading. I couldn't. Reading Read-ing doesn't appeal to me as much aa it seems to appeal to some others ; I want to get closer to event? than a book account of them. . When I have an opinion, I try to decide de-cide how much It is influenced by age, and how much by experience and in telligence. It Is a mean feeling, after yon get old, that yon might have done better with your opportunities. The same feeling appears in the consciousness of the young. A feeling that you have often been petty, inefficient and impo lite; that people have laughed at yon when they might have cheered, Is a bad thing to carry around with yon. ". If yon lack education, it Is your own fault Every man yon meet every Incident of life every hour of the day Is a page from the best textbook there is. This book Is called Experience. Experi-ence. An American puts himself on record so frequently as a patriot, a Christian, Chris-tian, a gallant, husband, etc, he Is ashamed to protest when called upon to assist In doing noble things that cannot be done. ; The world would treat us all better If we would treat the world better, and all it aske Is a little more com mon sense ; a little more fairness, politeness and industry. Devolution is agreeable when it is brewing, but when it breaks and the furies are unchained, the people begin clamoring for order. The scandalous things we read in the papers are not half as exciting as those we know go on everywhere, and hidden from the public. I have participated par-ticipated in events more exciting than anything I read about, and so have yon. Judzes and policemen have me bluffed Into paying a good deal of at tention to their regulations. I herewith here-with enter complaint because they do not slmiliarly impress others with their frowns and clubs. Every man who tells a He believes be Is cunning. He Is actually a foot One of the few sure things is that a He never prospers. All the people are as ambitious to punish Hara as they are to tell lies. When women love ns, they forgive everything, even our crimes. When they do not love os. they give ns credit for nothing, not even for our virtues. Halzac. When a.fnoi writes a bock, or talks, the only explanation must he he thinks all the rest t ns are fo!a . When the f-ei le cunt do a thini. after trying fr years, they put It up to congress, and howl end yell t-e cause onzrewt does not do It within a day or two. 3r ED HOWE : I- 'I What Happens When Business Men Confer Tills was a conference to end conferences. con-ferences. Gathered about the long table were 12 representative business men, 14 ash trays, 12 pencils, 43 cigars and one telephone. The chairman briskly rapped for or der. He stated the purpose of the meeting. He called for remarks. Silence did not follow. Members A, B and C were engaged In small talk. Members D and E were playing over A kJUllll UUJ feUI A fUUlVi liiCUJUCI ' j 0 and U whispered, followed by prj longed laughter. Members I, J ana K were calculating the effect of bridge on the human nervous1 system. Member Mem-ber L, alone, was brooding. No one, It seemed, had heard the chairman.! The telephone rang. The chairman was called. He listened attentively for a moment His reply was decisive, sterns "Tell 'em I'm in conference l" Kansas City Star. Co nwi1fl tret tM A f AmK. H Drink Water If Back or Kidneys Hurt Begin Taking 8alte If You Feel Backachy or Have Bladder Weakness Too much rich food forms acids which excite and overwork the kidneys kid-neys in their efforts to filter it from the system. Flush the kidueys occasionally occa-sionally to relieve them like you relieve re-lieve the bowels, removing acids, waste and poison, else you may feel dull misery In the kidney region, sharp pains in the back or sick headache, head-ache, dizziness, the stomach sours, tongue is coated, and when the weather weath-er is bad you have rheumatic twinges. The urine is cloudy, full ot sediment the channels often get irritated, obliging oblig-ing one to get up two or three times during the night To help neutralize these Irritating acids and flush off the body's urinous waste, begin drinking water. Also get about four ounces of Jad Salts from any pharmacy, take a tablespoonful in a glass of water before breakfast for a few days and your kidneys may then act fine and bladder disorders disappear. This famous salts Is made from the acid of grapes and lemon Juice, com blned with lithla, and has been used for years to help clean and stimulate sluggish kidneys and stop bladder lr rltatlon. Jad Salts Is Inexpensive and makes a delightful effervescent lithla water drink which millions of men and women take now and then to help prevent serious kidney and blad der disorders. By all means, drink lots of good water every day. Lucky Shot May Be Costly While hunting near Clearfield. Pa., William McMuIlen killed two deer with one bullet A big buck got with In range and he fired, the bullet go ing through the buck's bead, killing it Instantly and then hit a doe which was hurrying by. The game warden Is trying to decide whether Mr. Mc MuIlen must pay two fines, one for killing two deer la cne season and the other for killing a doe. If your bathroom fixtures tend to rust, wipe often with a woolen cloth saturated In gasoline or ammonia They prevent rust :';-: I f : .- v -' .-.' ;)) : Demand ' . 1 , i -y- - T " - f .. ' lr', A x i--t- i A ' 4 V'A i . ' " "A Lmmj Lybm ' ' The wfcote world knows Aspirin as an effective antidote for pain. But ifs just as important to inow tltat there is only one genuine Bayer Aspirin. The name Bayer is on every tablet, and cn the box. If it says Bayer, it's genuine; and if it doesn't, it is not! Headaches are dispelled by Bayer Aspirin. So are colds, and the pain that goes with them; even neuralgia, neuntis, and rheumatism promptly relieved. Get Bayer at any drugstore with proven directions. Physicians prescribe Bayer Aspirin; it does NOT affect the heart to tie trite ark ef Btytr lUsa-eM MUciJt- T 8Uer-d4 PAGE SEVEN The BABY No mother in this enlightened aga would give her baby something she did not know was perfectly harmless, especially when a few drops of plain Castorla will right a baby's stomach and end almost any little 111. FretfmV ness and fever, too; It seems no time until everything Is serene. That's the beauty of Castorla; Us gentle Influence seems Just what is needed. It does all that castor oil might accomplish, without shock to the system. Without the evil taste. It's delicious! Being purely vegeta-able, vegeta-able, you can give it as often tM there's a sign of colic; constipation t diarrhea ; or need to atd sound, natural nat-ural sleep, Just one warning: it is genuine Fletcher's Castorla that physicians) recommend. Other preparations mtf be just as free from all doubtful drag but no child of this writer's Is golnjg to test them I Besides, the book oa care and feeding of babies that cornea with Fletcher's Castorla Is worth its weight In gold. Children Cry for Wmdarfnt and fur. Mka frntr sktn h-tutifQ!, N vim- craem. I'rk'a it .Kb. trm brofcLt. Fr-chM Utnbncnt rmtm- fr-..:.. Iji.d mr forty wmm tl.ij .fit "c. Aek rnnr d.nl.r nr writ Or. C. H. Btrry Co., a7 MlchlftMl Ann CM Give Cows to Needy To reduce the hazards of fellow settlers In the Ilrst few years of farming, farm-ing, ZiiutpauHherg (Africa) branch of the 1!-U Settlers' Memorial association associa-tion has evolved a plan whereby ever member of the branch undertakes to give a good cow to any member experiencing ex-periencing difficulty In getting a start. A needy settler will thus receive 30 to 40 good cows with which he win be able to overcome bis difficulties and begin anew. Bobbing in the Past Bobbing the hair Is not new. It ia shown on a wail painting dated 1380, Fashions repeat themselves. SHJyUJJIgULI ;f E f Douthu boa ire not mid hi Tout |