OCR Text |
Show Lehi Free Press New Utah! - fj&atow .4-- Opinion from the Book of Allred 3 fl91 VwSfcjK Dealing with spouse abuse The following stories are about people who live in our north Utah perhaps in County communities your neighborhood. Perhaps in your her lack of faith, lack of discipline, lack of dedication, or her Mari is forbidden from using the ty and womanliness. Unfortunately, these myths are reinforced by car; her husband has taken the keys clergy, family, and friends. In from her but the baby needs formula most cases, they fail to realize that it from the store. He tells her that it is takes more faith and more discipline her fault for being grounded because to leave. of choosing to disagree with him, but Not only do these victims live with why is the baby being punished? emotional abuse, they live in shame. Denise's husband is highly respected in the community and has a They are afraid to let others know distinguished position in their church. what is going on because they believe others will just confirm what they Every Saturday afternoon, he spends fear ... that they are at fault. one hour with Denise and criticizes Does your spouse try and control everything that she has done wrong who you associate with? Do you have and verbally tears her apart; she a partnership, or do you feel like his dreads the meetings but doesn't dare mother or his slave? Are you contell anyone about them; who would believe her? stantly fixing things and trying to fend off his passive or aggressive There's more: The children are undernourished. anger? You are not alone. They have sustained themselves on It is estimated that one out of cornmeal and mush. This is all households in our community four in allow will husband food for Cindy's contains some form of domestic the house; she is too embarrassed to abuse. Sometimes it is the woman tell anyone. who seeks to control the relationship, Jessica is painting a room. Her but 97 percent of the time it is the husband decides to help her. He is husband. It may be a match made in repainting over everything that she has done, criticizing as he goes. She is heaven, but it is a relationship of living hell. discouraged and wonders why she What makes domestic abuse so difcan 't go do some other chore since he ficult is that most relatives will cover doesn't seem to think what she is it up or deny it exists. It usually runs doing is good enough. in families; it is a learned behavior. Julie's husband cites scriptures and refuses to let her take the children Uninformed clergy will refer the couto the doctor; he insists that she needs ple to marriage counseling where the to have more faith; they have pink eye. controller will push the blame and All of these incidents have one responsibility onto the victim. Abusive behavior needs to be treatis common. One in trything partner ed alone the abuser without the ing to conti the other through abuvictim. Often the abuser can't see and all of these sive behavior women live in fear of their spouse. that anything is wrong. The abuser is usually a perfectionSometimes there is physical violence ist and in other things quite slovenly. involved, but quite often the abuse is From outward appearances he is a more subtle and extended over a period of time. It can be difficult to detect nice, polite guyT He can speak of the from the outside looking in. Savior's love at church and be physiIt may not be the rowdy couple cally or emotionally battering his wife down the street. It may be the "perand children at home in the same fect" couple; the ones you admire. He afternoon. is successful and they are both active This is not normal. There is help. Make a phone call to Diana Corat your neighborhood church. Domestic abuse knows no bounds; it trannell at She is the Victim scends education, culture, and classAssistance Coordinator for the North . es. Utah County Domestic Violence These women feel trapped in their Council. There are resources avail' able. Do it now. situation and usually believe that lack of beau- home. well-meani- ng 1 768-711- 7. Bigger and better or better and better? My wife and I went out for a Sunday drive the other day, and we mar- veled at the many new homes in different sections of town. Although I think we are finally used to the idea of growth, or at least resigned to it, what amazed us during our jaunt was the size of the new homes being constructed. Some of these homes are huge, bigger and better, leaving the small, modest homes to the central area of the city or a few subdivisions where the developer has been successful in swaying the powers that be to vote in favor of "starter" home areas. But what of these homes and builders who strive for bigger and better? It seems to me that mere owning of a home is no longer the full extent of "The American Dream." I have seen how circumstances have changed for newlyweds where many are now able to purchase a starter home practically the day after they recite their vows. And I am not talking about those newlyweds who marry later in life and have had the opportunity to save up for a down payment or who may actually purchase a small home while at least one of them is still sin- strous, and I start to wonder, especially when I look at the homes in the neighborhood of my youth and that of my wife's youth. well-bein- (ISSN No. A g? Published weekly by 309-50- member of NEWSPAPER 'oSOClATION s New York state prison inmates who participate in an inmate-wor- k program makcan earn up to 50 cents an hour ing everything from office furniture to prison cells. However, manufacturing prison cells goes against the grain of some of our convicted prison felons and they have refused to participate. This is like you and I refusing to participate in building our own home. The prison cell operation is housed in a down state facility, and those who protest have been warned they will be shipped upstate (to stamp out license plates and make office furniture), far away from family and friends in the Big Apple, where most of them come from. Using prisoners for state work goes back a long way. Prisoners in the early 18(Xfs were used to construct Auburn and Sing Sing, and were brutally treated and forced to stay silent. This may be the reason it took so long for our prisons to become overcrowded. Once we started treating prisoners better than their victims, things went down hill. Civil rights bleeding hearts feel that the prisoners are being exploited. They say inmates should be able to unionize. Wow. I bet there are a number of union ..... ... .... .Brett Bezzant Managing Editor City Editor 59 West Main American Fork, Utah 84003 ....... Marc Hadda Cathy Allred Periodicals Postage Paid at American Fork, Utah Mnd iddrwt chmg to Watt Mam, Amrkan fvK Utah 84003 POSTMASTER: W I just our property and y, about cry. Bless them. "Shoot at anything you want 'cept Uncle Darrell's cattle, my dog, and my kids," I blubber. Would have hugged them too, but I don't think that they would have understood. Instead I show them where I'd seen the deer last and where there are plenty of wild mink, too. (Only if they get bored, of course.) I never saw them again. It was a miracle, to be sure. I I'll ifBFtt mmmmm if photos and negatives and save them on the network. Brett knows how to shoot page negatives and he and I know how to as long as we maintain our processor don't have to start from scratch. But Kent's the only one who can do all these things. So when his wife, Patty, called late f3. thatl bout of Joftdayliignt-tellinmffch tetdstaSred W knockout and thaT weshouldnt count on' Kent for Tuesday's production day, we were a bit panicked. Brett was due back Monday night from Florida, but he hadn't arrived in time to make any executive decisions about Kent's situation. Kent, on the other hand, had been due to return to the office Monday evening to scan in the dozens of negatives and prints which had accumulated during the afternoon. There were also two rolls of film waiting to be developed. We started formulating a plan to take up the slack. It wasn't pretty. First, late Monday night we gave Barbara a crash course in scanning negatives and put her to work scanning. She wouldn't be expected to crop, size and adjust the photos just get the initial scans completed. This is the most part of the process. Then early Tuesday morning, after , time-consumi- everyone else had gone home, I went back and finished the pictures, cropping them, making each the proper size and trying to make them look good in the newspaper, and then saving it to the proper place in the computer network. If some of our news photographs lack clarity or are printed too dark in this week's editions, it's probably my fault We figured Brett could shoot the negatives when the time came. I went home planning to return early Tuesday morning to develop the two rolls of film Cathy had taken for our Lehi edition. I had previously told her she would have to make do without the pictures, but I figured I could get the two rolls developed in the morning. It would put me further behind, but without Kent, we would all be behind,'so it wouldn't matter that much. ''""7. "f Still, I was dreading the day as I could see all the adjustments we would have to make to get the newspapers to press. When I got to work Tuesday morning, just before I sat down to write this column, and found Kent at his computer working away, all that worry turned out to be for nothing, except to help us understand how to deal with the situation the next time it occurs as it will in two weeks when Barbara goes on vacation. Kent spent 20 years in the Air Force and told us that one thing he had learned was that no one was indispensable. But I have also learned that some people can be darned important Especially when you run a ship as tight as this one. Kent may not be a GQ cover boy, but he sure looked good Tuesday morning asj he was scanning in photos for today's newspapers. Organized crime and labor Subscription price $24" per year aimaaxMvv NATIONAL While it is true that no one is indispensable, it's also true that you can't make a puzzle without all the pieces. And let me tell you, putting together a weekly newspaper is very much like with each piece assembling a puzzle crucial to getting a complete package every week. We can adjust for planned absences. Publisher Brett Bezzant was gone last week, for example, and everything moved pretty smoothly. Of course, we had known for weeks that Brett would be taking this family vacation, and everyone had made the necessary adjustments. So when it came time for Brett's piece of our puzzle to fall into place, things were either prepared in advance, or someone else had accented the reSntrfSSf bility of puttingrthat part interlace. HBflr ''column, for example, was written vie day before he went to the airport. But sometimes the unforseen happens and we are left shorthanded on short notice. That's when the value of each individual player in our hometown production is most noticeable. Kent Davis is our photo technician. He develops our black and white film, scans photos into our computer network from prints and 35 mm negatives, and maintains our processor, which is used to develop everything from black and e white pictures to the negatives that we send to the printer. He also shoots and prints most of those page negatives. He also takes some photos for us as well. Kent's not the only one who can do those things. I know how to develop film from the days when I ran a much smaller weekly newspaper basically by myself Three or four of us know how to scan .... jewtahjews They are yards away from our house. . . tm J L - f. to my spewmgs u iw taw. ine deaf From across the way. V, mile down, my neighbor Eva Johnson calls. Quietly, she advises, "Cathy, quit your yelling , and call the Sheriff I call the Sheriff and then wave my portable phone receiver at them. They are gone before she gets there. Ah, thank goodness for modern weapons.... Hunting Season 1995: This year, I have more experience and I'm ready. This time, three pale fellas carrying rifles began walking up my road. They smile and they appear sober because they are walking a straight line without wavering. This worries me a little bit. Still I am going to give it to them but good. Then worse goes to worse. They ask for permission to hunt on Not indispensable, but darned inconvenient Telephone Numbers Publisher 0) 10:16 matter-of-factl- activist, mind you. I've served up my share of deer stew and deer enchiladas. Actually most ranchers would prefer the paintball shoot, because every year somebody does an "oops." Now how do you mistake a cow or running towards their car now, their for a deer? Got me. Those steer in the as barrels air rifle they waving leap across the field. By the time I babies are an expensive "oops," by behavior jump in the car and tear down the the way, and your malicious livelihood. owner's the into cuts mile to confront them, they Quarter are gone. Hunting Season 1994 : This year It is the first day of deer hunting I am prepared. I have my "no huntseason. ing" and "no trespassing" signs posted into move to and time It is every few feet along the fence line pack the city until sanity returns. Board of our 13 acre home. I have my up your windows. Herd your cattle, orange hats for the kids. I know my horses, and other livestock into the property rights, and I know the law. barn if you have one and get out the They come anyway. Under, over, the and children hats for through that barbed wire fence, they orange your come in mass like a SWAT team orange vests for your dogs. I detest the first day of deer hunt hunting down America's most wantseason. Every hunter should be test- ed. They are under the mistaken ed for sobriety and be given a comimpression a herd of deer is hiding mon sense quota test for their CSQ out in my pump house (A pump before being allowed to be let loose house is a small four by four shed on the playing field. Can't we just that protects the well from the elepaintball shoot the deer and go buy a ments.) I am screaming like a banshee. I quarter side of beef? Better yet, let's shoot I rant. I rave. I shake my fist at fume. the hunters. paintball Not that I'm an animal rights the group of men not more than 350 .756-766- 9 Advertising & Circulation News ............756-527- 3 1521-685- (U.S.P.S. No. side playing. I look out the kitchen window and see not more than 100 yards away, men dressed in camouflage khaki, wearing orange hats, and wielding rifles. I drop the dish and run bare foot outside yelling at them, frantically looking for the children. The men are full-pag- These were "war homes," attractive little bungalows that were literally havens on earth for the men who had served their country and returned with honor to rebuild their personal lives. Some of them had to remodel to accommodate a surprise child, or perhaps even to splurge on a rumpus room designed to promote family togetherness. Even expansion, however, was done in a modest means, and the new addition was more for practical use than for lavish show. What role, then, does downsizing play in today's world? Is it ludicrous for someone to consider a move to smaller living quarters? And the bigger question, has anyone or could anyone really do it? While not everyone is capable of moving to a small cabin near a pond gle. in the woods, I wonder if some peoI've seen a change through the ple might not be better off by movyears where many young couples ing down in the world instead of up. now have the means whether creCould such a move people ated through their own devices or reclaim the simple facetshelp of life and to bring about an increased sense of provided for by their parents purchase a home sooner. Such a starter home needn't be Are there people who have suclarge until additional family mem- cessfully made moves from the stanbers join the ranks. dards of the world and the effort to For many families, then, building keep up with the neighbors, and a larger home becomes one of cir- instead, dared to chart a new course cumstance rather than one of mere for their own lives and those of their pomp. families? So many of the new homes one Bigger is not always better, but sees going up, though, are mon- - better will always lead to the best. Kewlftah! Readings Hunting season 1993: I'm doing the dishes. The children have done all their morning chores and are out- this is their fault. After all, isn't a good woman supposed to be an influence for good in her home? Perhaps it is Wednesday, October 13, 1999 - Page 2 Deadlines Classified Advertising Display Advertising News Missionaries Weddings Sports .. ... .Tuesday, noon .Monday, 5 p.m. .Monday, 2 p.m. Monday, 2 p.m. Monday, 2 p.m. .Monday, 10 a.m. . .Monday, 10 a.m. Community Calendar Letters to the Editor . . .Monday, 10 a.m. Obituaries Tuesday, 11 a.m. that we may be looking at a "put an" honest man out of work program Although, repaying victims is a great; idea, even at the half dollar an hour, V level. H 1, if- - officials serving time who would love to get their hands back on union dues again. One Manhattan legislator says that he would be in favor of higher pay and compares prisoner's work to inden- tured servitude. I thought that was what prison is all about. There are only a small percentage of New York's 70,000 prisoners involved in the work program. Even so, they racked up $70 million in sales last year. The state would like to participate in the federal Prison Industries Enhancement Program, which encourages prisons to enter partnerships with private industry. Prisoners would be paid prevailing wages and be charged for room and board. They would also be required to repay victims for damages. It appears I believe it costs around $50,000 a! year to house one of our convicted; felons. Giving them a job at a prevailing; wage is outrageous. The only exploitation here is heaped on the poor taxpay- er who is responsible for paying for his! own food, shelter and dothing and all ofJ the other benefits the prisoner is get-- 4 ting for nothing after breaking the law To reward him additionally with a good! paying job is enough to make a convict refuse parole. Putting prison products on the open market is a bad idea. When the econo-my takes a nose dive and we have high; unemployment, will our felons be toil- ing away at jobs the guy in the bread line should be filling? Could the state exert undue influence on buyers ofj products? PrisonsJ are supposed to be placed where pun- ishment is doled out to those who breaki the rules the rest of us live by. A pro-- J gram like this is the kind of thing that gives equality a bad name. j 1 We welcome letters to the editor. All letters must include the author's name (printed AND signed) and a telephone number. We reserve the right to edit ters for clarity, punctuation, let- taste and length. Letters are welcome on any topic. HOW TO REACH US P.O. Box 7, By Mail American Fork, UT 84003 In Person 59 W. Main, American Fork By Fax 756-527- 4 Bv editornewutah.com (POORC( |