Show THE KEEPAPITCHININ 88 WE SAW IIE It BUT A MOMENT wore a handsome crinoline the day first we met And she scudded like a schooner with a She when cloud of canvass set: 6he swept along the pavement with a grandeur “fit to kill” we saw her but a moment— but we think we As Oh her still The wind was on a see bender and as saucy as a witch the very dickens with dust dimity played and ‘sich” The gaiters were delicious which her small feet scarce could fill — Oh we saw her but a moment but we think we And see her still see her still shut our eyes tremendously— we did not want to see A display of pretty ancle when it wasn't meant for we But until we loose our senses regret we ever We 3 will That we saw her but a moment — though we think we see her still " ECONOMICAL LIVING In the recent work of Dio Lewis lie account of one week-iwhich the sum total expended for his food was Two days out of the seven he 54J cents indulged iVa beef stew the meat for which each time cost exactly two cents and he says “there was really enough for two of us!” As for the other days the carte for a couple of them will give an idea of all: gives an “Sunday breakfast hulled Southern with a little milk My breakfast three cents I took exactly the same thing for dinner Food for the day six cents I never take any supper corn cost Tuesday breaklast two cents’ worth of beans with half a cent’s worth of vinegar For dinner one quart of rich bean porridge worth one cent with four slices of coarse bread worth two cents Food for Tuesday five and a half cents” In conclusion Dr Lewis remarks: “Ol course I don’t pretend that everyIt body can live iii this luxurious way isn’t everybody that can afford it I could have lived just as well so far as health and strength are concerned on half the money Besides on three days I ate too much altogether and suffered from thirst and dullness But then I may plead that Not only my habits are very active have I written forty odd pages of this book during the week but I have done a large amount of hard muscular labor”— Sat Eve THE “KING WASHER” Make way for the Kino! Stand aside all you e washers! Make way for the King! No buttons knocked off-- no grinding motion— so simple that a child' can work it— turns out your linen whiter than the driven snow Make way for His Boyal Highness the “King” and the “Royal Wringer 1” Ring out wild bells to the wild sky Wring out your clothes and wring them dry! Proclaim to others all “Shoo Flv” one-hors- ! J SKR APS ! scooted down the avenue and streaming out behind Her crinoline and muslin togs were romping in the wind To have kept them in position would have battled twice her skill— Oh we saw her but a moment but we think She wo poor soul was at the same time starving for lack of that nutriment in the “beef stew” with which the Dr was overloading his stomach and making himself sick That was very economical on his part though eating “exactly the same thing for dinner” which he had eaten for breakfast But when it comes to eating “two cents’ worth of beans and i a cent’s worth of vinegar” all at one meal it’s perfectly Yet the Doctor says he sufgluttonous fered from thirst actually suffered from thirst after having consumed £ a cent’s worth of vinegar all in one day What a depraved inordinate insatiable appetite the man must have! No wonder he never takes any supper after having just crammed himself to suffocation with 2i cents’ worth of beans and vinegar! The Doctor goes on to say “Of course I don’t pretend that everybody can live in this luxurious way” We should rather think not! He say’s he could have lived just as well for the week “on half the money” Now half of 54J cents is exactly 271 cents this divided by 21 the usual number of meals taken by ordinary mortals in a week makes the cost of each single meal a trifle over one cent Then if you go without supper you save a cent don’t you? Subtract 2 cents per day from the board at the Townsend and Salt Lake Hotels and you can form some idea of what the profits amount to Figures don’t lie We never figured it so close before Our wife thinks we had better sell out and go to keepin’ tavern We told her we’d think it over if we succeeded in disposing of our “feet” She said she’d help us dispose of our feet if we didn’t take ’em off the top of the pianer “which we done so” lost The extravagance of some men professing to bo philosophers is perfectly shockThe idea of Dr Dio Lewis who ing professes to set an example and dictate what we frail mortals shall eat actually sitting down and gorging himself with food “enough for two” is in our estimation No doubt some perfectly preposterous The following is an accurate picture of the Euxine or Black Sta one in which all our numerous readers should feel interested as England and Russia talk some of fighting about its occupancy: A poor man should be avoided he lacks principal Isn't it queer that “contractors” should be engaged to widen streets ? Saxe says that“lawslike sausages cease to inspire respect in proportion as we know how they are made Little girls believe in the man in the moon big girls believe in a man in the honeymoon — It begins to look ominous when the woman of the period wants her club she used to be satisfied with her broomstick What is the differance between a blind One can’t man and a sailor in prison? see to go and the other can’t go to sea “I’ll lick the whole lot of you and swallow you into the bargain” as the urchin said after buying a pound of candies There is nothing so calculated to call out the deep earnestness of a true woman and enlist her most faithful devotion as doing up her back hair Gl S I RIGHT TO MICHAEL on 2d South Street and get you A No 1 suit of clothes you need it and money is no object with him—that is he don’t object to the money YOU riHE NEW CHARTER FOBS L CITY is the Charter Oak which (with other choice stoves) is almost given away by T & W Taylor Don’t fail to secure one before they are all gone universe! by the Attention your left wheel into Kelsons stores of Golden Gate where large Kandy Ivakes Krakers and Konfectionery are piled up till you kant rest ALMOST ASSASSINATED THE LAUGH OF A CHILD of a child Now rippling and gentle now merry and wild Binging out on the air with its innocent gush Like the thrill of a bird at the twilight’s hush Bloating off on the breeze like the tones of a bell Or the music that dwells in the hear of a shell Oh ! the laugh of a child so wild and so free Is the merriest sound in the world for me I love it— I love it— the laugh — The way to become round— Eat square meals GENTLEMAN was recently enticed into a house on Main St when a cloth 'was thrown over him and a powerful man seized him Look and cut every vestige of hair off his face out for them at Squires’ It’s Barber-u- s A TTF YOU WANT YOUR PURTITAKEX with a hih forehead and smiling go to Savage and Ottinger SEE THE HAPPY FAMILIES fiOaml AA of Bears Foxes Chiota and Badger Monkeys parrots Blue Jays Rabbits and ! Porcupines at the Museum and Menagerie ! I |