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Show Passing Chimes ' By James Barton Adams. A STRAY FROM THE FOLD. I'm feelin' plumb blue tonight, mother, as blue as an indigo bag, An' nothin' on earth '11 relieve me but settin' an chawin' the rag; I'm worried to death about Henry, the son that was alius our pride; The boy that we raised up so keerful, with the help of our heavenly Guide. Don't seem any time sence I saw him a layin' asleep on your breast, A treasure with which we thought heaven had made us especially blest, An' O! how we prayed fur his future; prayed that he'd reach manhood an' be A comfort an' joy to his iparents; to you, his ol mother, an' me. We watched him with care in his boyhood, an molded his mind in a way Like clay in the hands o' the potter, as I once heerd the minister say, An' give him the very best schoolin' , there was to be had in the state, Denyin' ourselves of some needin's, at times, in a payin' the freight. An' when he had gone through the college an' had a diplomy to show, The pride that we felt in our Henry jest thrilled us from noggin' to toe! I got so blame proud, you remember, I made all the neighbor folks stare By usin' my Sunday-go-meetin's, by jingo, fur every day wear. But pride, as the sayin' goes, mother, is sure fur to meet with a fall, An' the cup that is sweet to the tastih' may turn into wormwood an' gall, uiiiwimni i iim An' it wrenches the heart in my bosom in the cruelest sort of a way To see that in spite of our teachin's his feet are a goin' astray, it seems but a wastin' o' labor a raisin' him up as we done, Fur, spite of our lovin' attentions, he's proved an undutiful son; He's strayed from the pathway o' vartue, has kicked all our teachin's from sight; They're goin' to run him fur congress in the comin' political fight! Elopements of heiresses were once with the family coachman. Now they are with the family chauffeur. Next they may be with the family aeronaut. "Will the peekaboo waist go out witn tno straw hat?" asks a correspondent. Not after the weather gets frosty. The sight-unseen will then go out with the derby and slouch. The report that an open-all-night bank is to be established in Philadelphia is perhaps but a paragraphic joke. Philadelphians go to bed when thex curfew rings and sleep the sweet . r tno just until the blazing god of day rip's t. mantle of night up the gloomy back. John Smith has been nominated for congress from an Iowa district. Not the John Smith you know. Another one. A scientist has made the discovery that coal is edible, but until the coal trust is busted we will stick to cheaper food. In a breach of promise case in Iowa the defendant de-fendant claimed that he was talking in his sleep when he proposed. After sizing up the fair plain- tiff the jury, agreed that a- man who would go to Sleep with a bunch like that in hig arms deserved de-served the limit, and they awarded her all she claimed without taking the trouble ,to retire to the jury room to talk it over. Among the current events in the eastern pa-' pers we note the invention of a cradle that is rocked by electricity. A new pastry creation is known as "Love's young dream." It is perhaps sweetened with honey and served with a "spoon.' A-magazine writer speaks of the "analysis of. written words proving the paramountcy of contiguous con-tiguous expression." We do not fully understand what that means, but it is probably a scuoiarly knock at simplified spelling. Quite a number of editors have hastened to. assure the simplified spellomaniacs that it will" be just as hot with one "1" as with two. California is 56 years old this month. Aside from being a little shaky at times, she doesn't look it. .......... Good rural wives, be careful when the candidate appears . ! To seek your vote by candidatial scheming; Don't let the fellows dare to kiss your sweet boy baby dears, For science says the lips with germs are teeming. teem-ing. The ill reffects may not appear for a decade, or more, (We cannot feel the microbes when they bite us), But when, your boys reach manhood they may be afflicted sore With that rank disease, acute politicitis. A lady asks the Atchison Globe: "Is it proper for a lady to go to the telephone in nothing but her nightgown and talk to a gentleman?" and the modest Globe editor passes the question up to Editor Bok of the Ladies' Home Journal. In our humble opinion it would not be rankly improper for her to do so if she would turn out the light in the room before taking down the receiver. The government is now experimenting with hens to make them lay more. It should also make an effort to wean the aging ones from the feminine instinct of marking down their ages and butting into the market as spring chicks. r The Chicago city directory reveals the namo of a Mr. Ohell, but it is probably not pronounced as you think. The presidential bee seems to be buzzing in the vicinity of Secretary Loeb's new fall bonnet. He is going to Montana to hunt bears and lions. Henry Watterson, so long in the doubtful column, col-umn, has not only boarded the Bryan band wagon, wa-gon, but has taken a seat with the driver. "Silent Smith," New York's multimillionaire bachelor,- has been roped and yanked into the matrimonial corral by a grass widow. His silence may now bo more profound than ever. Lives of optimists remind us We with smiles our woes can bear, And, departing, leave behind us Toeprints on the seat of care. Wisconsin's first capitol is now being usea-as usea-as a stable, and ray house more horse sons than it did in its legislative days. |