OCR Text |
Show A SPORTING EDITOR .INDULGES IN PERSIFLAGE. PERSIF-LAGE. He came .into the ofllce with a buoyant step and a cheery smile, and in each hand a gripsack, which,he sot down heavily on the floor as, bowing politely, he said: ' "Good afternoon, sir. I'm here." - The sporting editor looked up from his desk and without so much as a smile, answered: "So I see. Good afternoon, sir, I'm out." "Not out, not out, old man," said the other, reassuringly. r"You might have had a bad day, sir, but 'you're not out. No good man ever stays out, anyhow. You the sporting editor?" "Guilty." "Thought so; thought so. Could tell it by your feet, sir Always judge character by the way a man's shod. Can I sell you some hoof linament, sir?" "No, thanks. Haven't had a cracked heel in a long while. Haven't thrown a splint, don't know what an osselet means, and never even so much as picked up a stone." "I don't mean for yourself, sir. I mean for your horse. You haven't a horse? Oh, that's different. How about some dog biscuit, sir?" "No, no, thanks. Doctor has ordered it entirely en-tirely eliminated from my diet. Don't care much for It, anyway. Too dry and absolutely tasteless without milk, and I hate milk worse than dog biscuit." "What! You don't keep a dog? A sporting editor without a bulldog? I've always seen it-sp h in the papers, sir. Then you couldn't even use a muzzle, sir?" "No. We fired the last ofllce boy we had and have decided to get along without one. If you had a bear trap, though, I might buy one." "Haven't got a bear trap in stock, sir; sorry to say, sir, but I can sell you a nice monkey wrench or a yoke for editorial oxen. Or perhaps a pair of sleeve garters, sir1?" "No-n-no. I guess not," said the sporting editor, slowly. "I always keep my sleeves rolled up when at work. There's never any telling who'll come in to disturb a fellow when he has somewhat to do." "That's true, sir. Very true. And for that very reason I'd like to sell you a set of boxing gloves and a fencing mask. No? Indian clubs, then? Dumbbells? Pulley exercisers? Football or golf paraphernalia? Rowing machines? Punching Punch-ing bags? Lung testers? What, sir? No? None - of these things? Why, I thought I carried a line of everything that a genuine sporting editor needs must have in his business. Have I not, sir?" "Maybe you have, sir, maybe you have," said the sporting editor, soothingly. "Now that you have got your grip opened, you may show me a nice pair of scissors." New York Telegraph. |