OCR Text |
Show Silvers of Thought. This Is the time of year when tho renl sharp trader can swap his now snow shovel for a last year's mako of automobile. Soino statistician says thnt lawyers averngo hut $1.70 a day. Why, tho plumber makes almost that much! I never could llgtiro out how n man or woman could want to die badly enough to take carbolic acid. It Is said that ono ennnot serve Ood and Mnnimon and yet, when tho preacher bus pronounced tho mnn and woman one, ho frequently leaves all tho bettor part of tho survlco to his wife whllo ho gives Mammon tho hardest run ho over hnd for hla money. I am afraid automobiles will be out of stylo before I lenrn tho names of their Internals. A Cheyenne newspaper man had two ribs broken by tho cmbrnce of an old friend. I will furnish tho name of tho friend to nny nico old mnld who feels lonely. When a girl and tho family Illblo differ on hor age, you may know thnt sho is of marriageable age, anyhow. What a beautiful world this would bo If men had lived us their epitaphs allege. What is the difference between a politician nnd a member of tho village vil-lage band? It's oasy. No matter which way tho election goes, tho musician mu-sician gets n Job. Ono of tho best things to nso in cleaning carpets Is a newly married man. Whon you see a man building n chicken houso, always go over and ask him wlint ho is doing. Mnybo ho Is going to keep crocodiles In It. Over at Indianapolis tho guests of a prominent hotel wero dumfoundod whon they read on tho brcnkfnst bill of faro "crushed cats," when It should havo been "crushed oats." In mentioning tho fact thnt "n ten pound boy was born to Mr. nnd Mrs. Jones," an Illinois editor had to hldo out for a week because tho printer got ono letter wrong nnd It read "a ten pound box was born to Mr. and Mrs. Jones." When a mnn cannot tell butter from oleomnrgnrlno, whnt's tho uso of wasting tho butter? |