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Show cilmilg. Page 201 the lAuGhiNg pOiNtr! „1,0414, REVENGE IS SWEET A woman I know, Jeanne*, just brushed off his think44, was laid off from her ing, "He doesn't drink so he vice presidency position doesn't understand." "And from a large international besides," she told herself, "I credit card company. At didn't drink any more than first she was devastated, our clients. What was the but then she realized that big deal." was the answer she needed. Jeanne thought people After all, she was an alco- didn't notice that she drank, holic. Actually, she was a but they did. functioning alcoholic. She Yes, with our economy used to drink after work still in a recession, she and --at least a bottle of vodka another vice president were a day-- into the wee hours laid off. Jeanne remembers of the morning and then initially thinking, "Not head into work. Frequent- now. Why now? This can't ly, her boss, the president of be happening." She was the company, who doesn't devastated. Yet, after a drink at all, would question few weeks, she knew deep her about her drinking espe- down that she had to make cially after they'd go out to some changes. dinners with clients and she Fortunately, she had would drink just as much a great severance packas those clients. Jeanne age. She even would be I live in New Jersey and I'mm used to having people cut me off on the highway. But this one time I was cut off by a convertible -- he missed my car by inches -- and the driver flipped me the bird to boot. Still steamed, I noticed that we had gotten off at the same exit and the convertible's driver had pulled into an office complex parking lot. I pulled my car over and waited for the driver to leave the parking lot and enter the building. Then I entered the lot and pulled up next to the car. Well, as my luck would have it, I had just made a stop at the supermarket and had a loaf of bread that I was willing to donate to the cause. So I did. I tore up a few slices of bread and threw the pieces into the front and back seats of the open convertible. Then I drove off out of the lot and pulled off across the street to watch. It didn't take long for the seagulls to start descending THAWING A TURKEY We visited our newly married daughter, who was preparing her first Thanksgiving dinner. I noticed the turkey thawing in the kitchen sink with a dish drainer inverted over the bird. I asked why a drainer covered the turkey. Our daughter turned to my wife and said, "Mom, you always did it that way." "Yes," my wife replied, "but you don't have a cat!" receiving a pretty substantial weekly unemployment check. Plus, she'd still have benefits for a few more months. So she voluntarily checked herself into rehab (her benefits would cover the entire $40,000 cost). More surprisingly, she stayed in rehab even though she could have left at anytime especially when she experienced withdrawals. Point black, Jeanne needed to be laid off to get sober. This also provided her "Didn't you suspect burProper attire is required the opportunity to look in glars had been in the house "Lou, sit down. I've got in the cafeteria at the Unithe mirror and ask, "Who when you saw all the drawsome bad news. You don't versity of Maine. To enare you?" ers pulled out and the conforce that rule, the manageJeanne is now even in- have much time to live." tents scattered all over the "How much longer do I ment posted this notice: vestigating God and spiritufloor?" asked the police"Shoes are required to ality. And she will find God have, Doc?" man. "Ten." eat in this cafeteria." since we are told in Prov"No, I just thought my "Ten *what*? Ten weeks? Next to it, a student adderbs 8:17, "I love them that husband had been looking love me; and those that seek Ten months? Ten years?!?" for a clean shirt," replied ed, "Socks can eat wherev"Nine ... Eight ..." er they want." me...shall find me." the woman. Jeanne's also volunteering her time --everyday to Veda Hale be exact-- to others unselfishly. Don't you love it when those health researchers actually come up She is now finally be- with something easy to do that could improve our health? Chocolate to coming who God wants her lower blood pressure? Yeah, I can handle that! Of course, they throw in to be. a "Yes, but".... "yes but, it should be dark chocolate really dark. Well, I'm a chocolate She's on fire with joy and lover, I can still handle it pretty dark." I won't give up my blood pressure pills though. wakes up each day excited Not yet. I hope I'm smart enough that, when those "folks" tell me that dark chocolate .... to contribute to society. to quote: "is comparable to the known effects of 30 daily minutes of physical activity (4It doesn't matter what 9mm Hg) and could theoretically reduce the risk of a cardiovascular event by about 20% age you are. over five years," that I don't think "goody, goody, I'll eat my dark chocolate bar and skip It doesn't matter your the exercise." I'd sure like to. I hate to exercise and to make dark chocolate eatable I'll circumstances. probably want some sweetener, which means calories. The most important thing I wonder if chasing after this new puppy I got will count for exercise. Pets are supis that you take action like posed to make you live longer. Puppy love and dark chocolate--two new things I've Jeanne did after she was added to my life for health. (I've also added a silly reputation with the local sheriff when we on the street couldn't laid off and ask, "What changes do I need to make find my new pup and were just sure he had been "doggy napped". "After all," I said "Isn't he so cute it is reasonable to assume someone would steal him?" You can imagine what for God to use me?" Especially since God has our patient sheriff said. Oh yes, puppy was so tired being "cute" that he had crawled a plan for each one of us. under the bed and gone to sleep. Send suggestions to Veda Hale Box 956, Panguitch, Utah 84759 Mother Teresa agrees: "We or email vedahale@yahoo.com are all pencils in the hand of God." And maybe, just maybe, SCHEDULE OF EVENTS Jeanne needed to get sober, Wednesday, August 25not only for her to experi7:00 p.m. - Opening Social, Triple C Arena ence happiness and joy in her life, but for God to Thursday, August 26use her to help people she 6:00 a.m. - 8:00 a.m. - Breakfast in the Park doesn't even know. 8:00 a.m. - Gather at Triple C Arena Which leads me you. to depart for rides 6:00 p.m. AN rodeo What is God trying to tell you? Friday, August 27What changes does He 6:00 a.m. - 8:00 a.m. - Breakfast in the Park need you to make for him 8:00 a.m. - Gather at Triple C Arena to use you most effectively? to depart for rides AUGUST 3-28, Z010 Remember, it is never 6:00 p.m. ATV rodeo PANGUITCI-1, UT too late. Never, ever. 1 800 444 6689 Saturday, August 28President Abraham Linwww.brycerally.org 6:00 a.m. - 8:00 a.m. - Breakfast in the Park coln once said, "...my con8:00 a.m. - Gather at Triple C Arena cern is not whether God is to depart for rides on our side; my greatest 6:00 p.m. ATV rodeo concern is to be on God's Garfield County or Bryce Canyon Country is home to side, for God is always three National Parks, three State Parks, the Grand right." Staircase-Escalante National Monument, National Sounds like a no-brainer Scenic Byway 12-Utah's All-American Road, newly to me. designated National Scenic Byway 143 - Utah's Patchwork Parkway, Dixie National Forest, and more *Permission was granted than 2500 Miles of AN routes! by Jeanne to use her name and to share her story. Cynthia Kimball Humphreys is a professional speaker and trainer Local Friendly Pricing through her company EvWe can give you erylCounts, LLC. She tj io a second opinion writes a column for weeklies in southern Utah and on your needed repairs. Rick Miner - Juarez Nunez is a southern Utah correspondent for the Deseret Same Day Service, News. Her column, "Ev•State of the Art Computer Diagnostics erylCounts," appears on Most Cases. • Free tire rotation with Oil Change upon deseretnews. com . E-mail: "We Do It Fast" request. Except Dullies. kimball@every 1 counts. net. BAD NEWS BURGLARS? PROPER ATTIRE It Makes Sense...By TO PLAY: COMPUTE THE GRID SO THAI EVERY ROW, EVERY COLUMN AND EVERY 3)0 BOX CONTAINS THE DIGITS 1 TO 9 5 7 4 3 1 6 7 5 9 -- k■-_ i 3 4 1 5 2 7 9 7 1 2 4 5 9 3 6 6L Z I S9£81, 8£ I L t' 6S Z 1, 95218L 6 I Z 8 StLiI9 6 L I f69£88 Z S 698 Z IPSL 1Z8£61, 9L 91, Z 668L 15L 9 I 9 Z 5 -1 8 2 6 -t Answers for this week ■ .4111111111( If 648 • • Casita Lattrint Errol 435-275-8628 - embutah@gmail.com - The Goldberg Brothers The Inventors of the Automobile Air Conditioner Here's a little factoid for automotive buffs or just to dazzle your friends. The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees. The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter. Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car. They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately. The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent. The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, 'The Goldberg Air Conditioner,'on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed. Now old man Ford was more than just a little antiSemitic, and there was no way he was going to put the Goldberg's name on two million Fords. They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown. And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show -- Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max -- on the controls. We can hear your groans from here. Control yourself, It's just a really good joke! • - - - 60 years combined experience. • If warning lights are on dash, we can help! ADVERTISE IN THE INSIDER Call 67646211 to plitralls. 475 East Center St. • Panguitch, Utah 435-676-8994 Complete Auto Service & Repair SAFETY INSPECTIONS Best transmission pricing on rebuilds or remanufactured. Certified Locksmith. Se Habla Espanol |