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Show NOVEMBER 23,2006 ESCALANTE NEWS ...by Chris Haycock, 435-826-4832, plateofdreams @ scinternet.net Well Thanksgiving is almost upon us and I know we all feel we're never ready for it, but guess what? It always works out, doesn't it? We would like to say, "Thank you," to every one that helped with the old city park clean-up. It'll be nice when this next summer comes around and perhaps be able to have a family cook-out up under the pavilion. Looks like some tables will have to appear to make it comfortable. It's a good thing the winter is starting upon us to give us time to figure out how it's all going to work out. It seems Superintendent Park had asked the School Board for direction on whether or not the Boys and Girls Sophomore Basketball teams should be allowed to participate in the regional tournaments scheduled for January. Its been decided that the Board is to direct the Secondary Principals to allow the Sophomore teams to participate in the tournaments. As I stated before "I always thought this was a part of the program, Tradition." The SophomoreTourn. is really a self-esteem builder for our students. All the Students that play in sports have to keep their grades up. These activities mean alot to these kids. Don't take it away because someone decides that it costs too much. Ask the kids what they are willing to do to keep their activities. Escalante High School would like to Welcome Terrence Mitchell aboard as our new Girls Varsity Basketball Coach. Your going to have a GREAT YEAR! The Girls Basketball Team went out Friday. Our Boys Wrestling Team went out Friday. Sorry I haven't talked to anyone on how they did but I'll let you know next week. Our first home game for the girls will be Dec. 13th. Wrestling will be Dec. 7th. Our first Boys Basketball game will be Nov. 21st. Our first home game will be Dec. 20th. Senior Citizens would like to remind everyone that the centers will closed the 21st., 22nd., and 23rd. The menu for the Escalante Center on Nov. 28th will be; spaghetti, salad, beets, fruit, and dessert. Nov. 29th; turkey meat pie, beets, salad, fruit, and dessert. Nov. 30th; ham & bean soup, salad, muffins, and fruit. HAPPVHOUDAYSTO EVERYONE!! ADVERTISE IN THE INSIDER IT WORKS!! Call 676-2621 for ad rates T H E GARFIELD COUNTY INSIDER tHe lAuGhiNg PET FISH MAN OF THE HOUSE A man had just finished reading the book "Man of the House" whileridingthe commuter train home from work. When he reached home, he stormed into the house and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing hisfingerin her face, he said, "From now on I want you to know that I am the man of this house and my word is law! You are to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?" His wife thought for a moment and responded, "The funeral director is my guess." HOSPITAL INFORMATION A friend of mine was in the hospital awaiting the arrival of her first child. When I telephoned the hospital to see if the baby had arrived, Dr. Wilson said it had. I asked if it was a boy or girl and was told that it was against hospital policy to give this information over the phone. "Fine," I said. "I can understand that. But can you tell me what she didn't have?" "It wasn't a boy," replied Dr. Wilson A man was recently stopped by a game warden in Northern Alberta. The fellow, carrying two buckets of fish, was leaving a lake well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch thosefish?If you don't, I'm going to have to impound them as evidence and issue a citation." The man replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish." "Pet fish?!" the warden replied. "Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take 'em home." "That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!" The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, "Here, I'll show you. It really works." "O.K. I've GOT to see this!." The game warden was curious now. The man poured the fish in to the lake and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, "Well?" "Well, What?" the man responded. "When are you going to call them back?" The game warden prompted. "Call who back?" The man asked. "The FISH." "What fish?" The man asked . . . FROZEN TURKEYS A lady was picking through the fro- HOW TO TOOK A CURKEY zen turkeys at the grocery store, but Step 1: Go buy a turkey Step 2: Take a drink of whisky (Scotch) Step 3: Put turkey in the oven Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whisky Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens Step 6: Take 3 more whiskys of drink Step 7: Turn oven the on Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky Step 9: Turk the bastey Step 10: Whisky another bottle of get Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whisky Step 13: Bake the whisky for 4 hours Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey Step 15: Take the oven out of the turkey Step 16: Floor the turkey up off of the pick Step 17: Turk the carvey Step 18: Get yourself another scottle of botch Step 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey Step 20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out. couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead." Great Truths of Life • Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-0 to a tree. • There is always a lot to be thankful for, if you take the time to look. For example, I'm sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt. • Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due. • The best way to keep kids at home is to make a pleasant atmosphere - and let the air out of their tires, • Families are like fudge... mostly sweet, with a few nuts. • Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground. • Laughing helps. It's like jogging on the jnside. • My mind not only wanders; sometimes it leaves completely. Page 4 WARM HANDS WARM HEART Hat & Mitten Drive The Garfield County Volunteer Center is sponsoring a County wide Hat and Mitten Drive to celebrate November's FAMILY VOLUNTEER DAY... A day for families to work together to help others. How many mittens can you find? Plan a family closet cleaning activity. Any hats or mittens not in use? Good and clean? New or used? Donate to others in need. New or gently used scarves, hats and mittens may be dropped off through January 2007 New or used Blankets can also be accepted at these collection depots: • Bryce Canyon .National Park, Front Desk • Boulder Elementary School • Panguitch City Library - Panguitch Elementary School • Escalante Senior Center • Escalante Elementary School • Bryce Valley Senior Center, Henrieville • Bryce Valley Elementary School, Tropic • Bryce Valley High School, Tropic Items collected will be distributed to those in need in Garfield County and area family shelters. Questions about the "Warm Hands, Warm Heart" Hat and Mitten Drive may be directed to the Volunteer Center Lori Mecham, 679-8761 or Marsha Holland, 679-8987 BASIC EMT CLASS STARTING JANUARY Garfield County Ambulance will be holding a Basic EMT Class starting January 2007, Classed will be held on Friday nights and Saturdays at Ruby's Inn. Cost is $300.00 plus cost of books. (Ideas for sponsors are available) To register, or for questions, please call: Susan Harris (H) 435-679-8834 (Q435-616-8835 Ron Harris (H) 435-679-8834 (C) 435-616-8834 Tammy Barton (W) 435-676-2662 (Q435-690-0137 Class must have a minimum of participants or it will be cancelled. |