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Show A2 The Emery County Review, Tuesday, November 11, 2008 The LIGHTER SIDE Dazed News Off The Beaten Path Slice of Life A Proof of Hope James L. Davis As my daughter was going through an old box of photographs I had pulled from one of our closets, she held up a photograph of a young man. “Is that you?” She asked. “Think so.” “What’s that look on your face?” she laughed. “That would be a look of hope.” “You never look like that.” I patted her on the back and fished for more photographs. “Not anymore.” That is the really amazing thing about old photographs, they remind you that once upon a time you had hopes and dreams and all that other silly nonsense you gave up for reality when you grew up. It’s the one thing I like about boxes full of old photographs and the one thing I don’t like about computers full of old photographs. You can pull out a box of old photographs, dump them on the floor and have a trip down memory lane with your kids. Gathering around the computer to click through old photographs just isn’t the same. Sure, there are a lot of photographs in that old box that I can’t figure out why they were taken or why we’ve held onto them. For instance, someone in my family seems to have a foot fetish, because there are an awful lot of pictures of someone’s feet in our photo box. You can see the feet quite plainly, but the rest of the photograph is a blur. And the feet aren’t pretty, so I’m fairly sure someone has been taking snapshots of my feet over the years. Of course, that’s not the only thing you can learn from a box of old photographs. I learned from old photographs that I was abused as a young boy. I hadn’t been aware of this fact and had actually convinced myself that I had a good childhood, until I realize that I was brainwashed into believing such a thing. Because going through old photographs at my parents’ house I noticed a disturbing trend. In virtually every picture I appeared to be screaming. Not only that, but in the background of the pictures where I appear to be screaming you can see quite clearly the image of my big brother coming after me with something in his hands: a bat, a stick, a crowbar, a chain saw, or other assorted instruments that can be used to cause trauma to a little brother’s body. I’m going to have my attorney take a look at the photographs to determine if a lawsuit might be in order not only for my older brother, but for whomever it was taking the picture of me about to be abused instead of trying to stop it. I also learned from old photographs that my little brothers seemed to enjoy their childhood far more than I did. In almost every picture of the two of them, they are laughing and happy and there is no one in the background preparing to beat them over the head with a blunt instrument. My daughter handed me another photograph. “Is that you when you were a baby?” “Think so,” I said. “You’re naked. You can see your butt.” “Yes I am, yes you can, and my butt looks nothing like that anymore.” Which brings up another question about my childhood: exactly who was taking all of these photographs and why weren’t they putting clothes on me instead of taking pictures? Because in the pictures where I wasn’t screaming because I was about to be beaten, I was almost invariably naked. I was not aware that I was at one time an exhibitionist, but apparently I was because there is a great deal of photographic evidence detailing my visits to state parks, grocery stores and wedding receptions without any visible sign of clothing. Looking through my parents’ box of old photographs of their early years I discovered that in the old days everyone wore clothing, and a lot of it. I also discovered that in the old days my father had more than two or three facial expressions. I asked him about a couple of photographs I came across where he looked, well different. “Is this a photograph of you Dad?” I asked. “Think so,” he said. “What’s that look on your face?” My dad patted me on the back. “That would be a look of hope son,” he said. The Duplex Photo by Casey Wood A Community Helps Out On Nov. 8 the Emery County community came together in support of one of its citizens, Lucas Giroux, in an effort to help his family pay medical bills from Lucas’ two surgeries last June. Friends and co-workers of Lucas’ mother, Gabriele, organized the benefit secretly and only once the planning was done did they inform the Giroux family of their plans. Some of the women involved in the organization were Ileen Baker, Jarilyn Spears, Norma Funk, Jayne Richards, Lanora Johnson, Becky Nelson. The event began with an indoor yard sell, followed by a fry bread dinner a performance of the band Leather and Lace, and an auction which began at 7 p.m. The family indicated that there was a wonderful turnout for the event and that it would be of great aid to them. Lucas and his family expressed their gratitude to the county, saying, “Not very many communities do this kind of stuff. This has been the warmest place we’ve ever lived.” News of the Weird Chuck Shepherd Lead Story Recent research in the Journal of Economic Analysis and Policy sheds light on the thorny social issue of why females continue to earn less money than males, even in similar jobs. Competing hypotheses have been advanced: It’s either gender discrimination or simply that more women than men de-emphasize career aggressiveness in favor of family. The recent research suggests discrimination. Researchers found that females who were established in jobs and who then underwent sex changes actually increased their earnings slightly, but that males who became females lost about one-third of their earning power, according to an October summary of the research in Time magazine. Fine Points of the Law (1) A 38-year-old man was cited for disorderly conduct in Fond du Lac, Wis., in September after he bought a beer for his sons, ages 2 and 4, at the county fair. He could not be cited for providing alcohol to minors because, under Wisconsin law, parents are exempt, but he was written up for swearing at police. (2) Meleanie Hain’s Pennsylvania concealed-weapons permit was revoked in September after spectators complained about her openly carrying her loaded, holstered Glock at her 5-year-old daughter’s soccer game. However, the only penalty under state law is the loss of the privilege of concealment, so that if Hain continues to carry the gun, she must do so openly. Cultural Diversity -- Rituals: (1) The chairman of a Nigerian development company was charged in August with stealing what is now the equivalent of $5.5 million, and burning $2 million of that in cash so he could smear the ashes over his naked body in a nighttime “fortification” ritual in a cemetery. (2) Four people were arrested in October after a family gathering in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, when a Ramadan-ending ceremony turned into the fatal beatings of two relatives, who were being administered an aggressive ritual, supposedly to stop their tobacco habit. -- Wrestling in Turkey (I): Villages in western Turkey traditionally hold camel-wrestling matches during gala weekend festivals in winter, which is mating season and the only time bull camels will fight (and even then, not always). There is at least one professional league, and sometimes, camels embody the pride of an entire village. A female is paraded in front of two males, then led away, and the supposedly frisky bulls tussle but only occasionally reach a resolution in which one subdues the other by sitting on him, according to a dispatch in Germany’s Der Spiegel. Usually, judges have to pick the winner on style, and sometimes the decision is easy, as one camel has simply run away. -- Wrestling in Turkey (II): Camel-wrestling is a winter celebration, but the summers are (and have been for 650 years) for Kirkpinar, the country’s oil-wrestling celebration and tournament, during which a thousand men, slathering on two tons of olive oil, fight matches until one man earns the solid-gold title belt. Several months of regional tournaments lead up to Kirkpinar, which, incidentally, has recently experienced the same doping controversies as mainstream world sports. -- Athletes Demanding Respect: “I think one day it should be an Olympic sport,” said Jeannine Wikering, 26, who finished third while representing Germany in the 10nation European pole-dancing championship in Amsterdam in September. And Australia’s champion sheep-shearers prepared to once again lobby the country’s Sports Commission for official recognition, which would enable them to apply for training grants and corporate sponsorship. Shearers are revered in New Zealand, with televised matches and large prizes, according to an August dispatch from Sydney in Britain’s Guardian, but Australia’s top shearers get much less respect. -- In September, despite an increasing chorus of complaints, Peruvians celebrated the annual Gastronomic Festival of the Cat in a village just south of Lima, serving a variety of feline delicacies (fried cat strips, cat stew, grilled cat with spicy huacatay). For the most part, according to a Chicago Tribune report, the dishes are made with specially bred cats rather than street prowlers, and are consumed for their health benefits, though centuries-old tradition is the likeliest explanation. Said one Peruvian, such cultural events “are our roots and can’t be forgotten.” Latest Religious Messages -- A Buddhist temple in Nakhon Nayok, Thailand, offers quickie “reincarnation” sessions in which people climb into “coffins,” “die” while a priest’s chants chase away the evil spirits of the old person, who is then “reborn” as someone different. The temple has nine such coffins to serve the long lines of optimists (who must stand well back while waiting, so as not to absorb the “dying” people’s escaping evilness), many of whom adhere to predestination beliefs based on one’s name and time of “birth,” according to a September New York Times dispatch. -- Spiritual Rulings: (1) The highest ranking Muslim authority in the Turkish province of Adana declared in August that observing the fasting requirement of Ramadan could be assisted by the use of medical “patches” that reduced hunger pangs. (2) In September, Chad Hardy released the 2009 version of his Men on a Mission calendar, which features photos of young, shirtless Mormon men, intended, he said, to help his church overcome its image of being stodgy, and he said he plans a female version for 2010: Hot Mormon Muffins. (In July, Hardy was excommunicated for producing the 2008 Men on a Mission calendar.) People Different From Us (1) In the town of Sekiu, near Port Angeles, Wash., in October, Ms. Cory Davis, 56, was shot in the leg by her stove. (A .22-gauge shotgun shell had found its way into some newspapers that she had put on to burn. “There’s always that one problem stray,” she said.) (2) A 21-year-old woman was arrested in Hamilton, New Zealand, in October after she allegedly kicked in the door of her ex-boyfriend’s home, then assaulted him because of a custody dispute between the couple over their pet possum. Least Competent Barroom Brawler In July Scott Bennett, 48, lost an eye in a fight at the Mavericks night club in Sioux City, Iowa. Then, on Oct. 12, in another fight at Mavericks, Bennett lost his other eye. (Coincidentally in October, Britain’s worst professional boxer, Peter Buckley, announced he will retire after his next bout. He has lost 88 in a row, and overall his record is 43-256.) Thinning the Herd (1) A burglary suspect, running from police on San Francisco’s Telegraph Hill in September, jumped over a 3-foot wall, apparently not realizing that on the other side was a 200-foot drop. He died at the scene. (2) A 22-year-old woman was fatally hit by a car in Dallas in June when she stopped on the busy LBJ Freeway to take pictures of an accident scene. She was apparently just an overly curious rubbernecker. (3) A 54-year-old road-raging woman burned up in her car in London in September after ramming the back of another car, bringing both to a stop, and then failing to realize that a fluid from her car had ignited the underside. (Copyright 2008 Chuck Shepherd. Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate.) By Glenn McCoy |