Show i r 7 art ta f fw 71 f w tH chwi wi L 1 q f 11 A ahe anew km where lie ile wa frota the cleveland leader A party of young men were taking dinner a few nights flights ago at a fashionable cafe when one of them who is some what of a jester called the waiter and said john go and call main alain it if a R woman answers it will be my wife I 1 ell her anat I 1 instructed you to say that I 1 am in the police station tor for a few hours and will not be at home for dinner say to her that the bill ties are that I 1 shall not be at home to night understand me sir john winked a couple of times in a knowing way bowed deferentially and suggested eug supposing Sup supposing nothing sir it if she asks who is talking tell her it Is the turn key at the central station and shell never know who told her the lie ile the waiter shambled away and was presently seen to be having a good deal of fun with himself the jester in berred that it might have something to do w with I 1 th his case and called him over whets amusing you johna wouldn t like to tell you sir at least right here I 1 guess these fellows understand let er go missus says to tell her husband she I 1 glad he is so nicely located tor for the night she knows knovis where be he Is tor for once knew all about genius from the atlanta constitution I 1 have just finished a sonnet said the poet thank heaven exclaimed the wife that 11 buy a beefsteak and a sack of flour I 1 and here Is an ode tor for the state fair how fortunate ham hant is 15 cents a bouril and we had any in six weeks I 1 have also written a love song which is as tender as an april rose what a dear sweet soul you are I 1 m sure that s good for a can of lard and a gallon of molasses mo lases woman said the poet sternly do you know what genius Is isa yes she said thoughtfully some times its telling the butcher to call again shutting the door on the baker hadin from the bous hous rent man and singing when sunday coines I 1 would not live always I 1 ask not to stay boun bonn I 1 to be U I 1 al py well said the jovial citizen its beginning to get cooler yes answered mr air birkins are you not pleased 9 in a measure but I 1 see no rea read son for manifesting surprise its it s got to begin to get cooler some time or other so as to lead up to the blizzards and that male mal e life a burden in the winter washington star they don t work gee chizz that blamed watch Is stopped again what an awful liar that jeweler Is 1 what s the matter I 1 left the thing for him to fix he ile charged me 2 and said it would work like a charm now well he doubtless meant a watch charm philadelphia press one on an the clerk he thrust the sealed letter through the window and put down 2 cents well what do you want 7 asked the stamp clerk an automobile please he re piled plied sweetly philadelphia north american hard to obay willie oh bowl wow hoo hoo hoot I 1 want dessert now I 1 don t want any old meat an fattier father sternly keep your mouth shut and eat your dinner I 1 philadel phia press THEIR FIRST QUARREL ah 1 4 IV 71 mr Young wed I 1 wish I 1 could get some bread like mother used to bake for me mrs Young wed I 1 wish I 1 could get come clothes like father used to buy tor for me hard to catch I 1 guess our soldiers in china will soon master the chinese nation national air how so why they are all trying to catch the tuan cleveland plain dealer in yn the tl of course it was only fair milt we v be quits quite frank with the boer you are become a mere fly in the ointment we protested severely certainly not a becoming part tor for brave men oh we think we are at least a june bug in the ointment replied the with self esteem to be sure the fittest would survive no matter how cramped and inadequate the facilities detroit journal HE DIDN T MIND FEE T V r ki A T 1 ta A A ay you may call on me but papa always turns out the gas at 9 24 3 0 clock disher that s all right in be b sure not to come before that time A correction ml all s lakeside goodness now tanned you arel are you re ye been in the th sun haven t 3 ou miss of boston most as not thera are no means as a yet of transporting to that sphere I 1 have been merely basking in the 6 ams ims which percolated through the atmosphere of at lantic alantic city philadelphia press clumsy I 1 hot 1101 woman said the lecturer at the informal meeting in the east Is only a domesticated animal well said the foolish man thai that wanted to make a complaint she sh lacks a lot of bein being a domesticated animal here the ladles ladies present in large number numbers glared at him amazedly press 1 i A mercantile temperament grat sell remarked the man who Is always looking on th tho dark side of things well answered senator sorghum your impress oas ons on that point depend a great deal on whether you re r delivering votes or hustling after them in my operations politics has struck me as a colossal buy washington star so well sambo I 1 see that yoa you are mv still at your old occupation oh dessir me ale an de whitewash asb bresh am still in so I 1 see and how Is business 10 I 1 it looking upa up dat sely what it am sah I 1 a kalso minin de ceilan er de do baptist clinch chu ch boston courier alight have left 1 ft that mrs airs starved that mr air alopay ha has skipped out without paying his board mr starboard wel that should be a relief to you you ve often declared axed he was an elephant on your hands mrs airs starved I 1 should say he was wa an elephant tor for has he s taken his trunk with him philadelphia press I 1 that what if alight take I 1 see yer movin out boss remarked a very disreputable looking weary willie who had sto stopped aped to watch match the operation Is dey at anything you don t need at I 1 might take yes snapped the crusty suburban ite tossing a bundle into the van tan a bath standard and times no matches Mat clie heeled nee led mamma I 1 heard somebody today say that matches yv were ere made in heaven how about that I 1 believe it la Is the tact fact willie well what in thunder do they want matches there for it if there a going to be no night there yonkers states man after trial aggi caught my boy smoking a cigar yesterday make him throw it away I 1 threw it away avay myself it was evidently a two ter for indianapolis press the I 1 ical ant a flank fellow citizens of the jungle sale said the monkey various as our interests may be can cant t we find some platform on which we may all stand that s right put in the elephant let us denounce mena menageries gerles puck old friend in a new agnie idida I 1 t see as many plumbers plum plumb birs Lra as I 1 expected in the labor day parade io no they insisted on riding in I 1 automobiles |