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Show DAVIS COUNTY CLIPPER, DAVIS REFLEX JOURNAL, MARCH 13, 1985 Wednesdays woman SINGLES By 29 Ways To Beat A Boring Weekend Mollie Fermaglich happened again. Its afternoon and have nothing to do weekend. Youve filled your annual quota of blind dates (one) and can you help it if you actually believed the Dts guy you went out with last Saturday who promised to call you soon? lace it: Youre all alone. But the prospect of dont worry entertaining yourself need not be frightening. Boring weekends are largely the result of poor planning. You could even look forward to being alone if you prepare for it. Step I. Find someone to blame for your having to spend the weekend alone. Almost anyone will do your mother for not breastfeeding you, your high school sweetheart for going east to college but the best candidate for scorn and loathing is yourself. This s the perfect opportunity to bemoan your cellulite, impending crows feet or the fact that even the chubby girl in Accounts Payable has a boyfriend! Once you feel sufficiently sorry for yourself, youll be open to try anything. Step II. Accept your friends invitation to meet for a drink after work. Visit a bar near your office. Pay $2.50 for a Bloody Mary with too much celery and not enough vodka. Take special note of the men in Sansabelt slacks and those in e suits that came with extra probably pants. Pray that no one talks to you. Nibble Pepperidge Farm Cheddar Cheese Goldfish, pay your tab and leave. Step III. Why not unwind from the long work week by doing something physical? If you belong to a health club, you should work out all that built-utension and stress in a good, healthy sweat, while gathering strength by noting all the women in the locker room with worse bodies than yours. Or go to the local bowling alley and see how many men you can meet named Nick, Frank and Spike. It probably won't make you feel better, but it will show you far worse fates than being alone on a Friday night. Step IV. Make a shopping list and go directly to your nearest supermarket. Ignore the womens magazines advice to treat yourself to gourmet snacks. Save the Scandinavian crackers and Bulgarian lumpfish for guests and head for the cookie aisle. This could be an exceptionally long weekend, so buy as much junk food and as many artifically colored soft drinks as your refrigerator can hold. If youre embarrassed, tell the checkout girl that youre expecting the local elementary school over. And to take care of guilt, place one container of plain yogurt in your cart; you can three-piec- mint-gree- n p easily ditch it on the tabloid newspaper rack on your way out. Step V. Double-loc- k your door and relax. Try not to answer the telephone this weekend. Yes, this could be the weekend that Robert Redford calls but if you arent home, you will be more desirable. Step VI. Put on your bathrobe with the coffee stains on it, sit down and make a list of even less inviting places terry-clot- h you could be right now: boring parties dinner with married friends any bar that lets women in for free before 10 p.m. Step VII. Prepare a nutritious dinner. Now, wrap it in plastic wrap and go directly to the chocolate chip ice cream. Eat it the right out of the container last thing you need this weekend is dirty dishes. Step Turn on the VIII. television set and try to figure out why Dick Van Patten seems to have a better social life than you. Watch made-for-Tmovies and wonder why all the good movies are on at 4 a.m. Try to figure out who gets Channel 68. Step IX. Get into bed and put radio talk show. on an Call in. Ask the host if hes got V all-nig- ht a brother whos off tonight. Step X. Sleep. Semester. Step II. Rise and shine! Shower or dont shower only youll know! Step III. Finish dressing, pack your wallet with credit cards and prepare for a shopping spree. Go to a department store. Get a free cosmetic makeover without being guilted into buying $87 worth of the Try on hats. Dont buy anything. Ask the model hired to demonstrate perfume how she feels spraying strangers. Step IV. Stop in a card n gift shop. Buy greeting cards for upcoming birthdays. Avoid cards that say I Wuv You This Much and people who buy them. Step V. Visit a shopping mall art exhibit. Do not, however, purchase any of the paintings or drawings; you are merely alone, not insane. Step VI. Take yourself out to dinner! Try to avoid the following conversation as it out-of-wo- rk really isnt necessary: You: What do you want You: I dont know, how about you? You: Well, we had Chinese last Thursday... You: Well, you know me, I could eat Chinese seven days a week... Eat wherever you like, but do yourself a favor and stay away from any place that serves a cheese-clin- g e 2) My lover and I eat GHTSIkEHTT ROUG J 2311113237 lALiinisuTh separately. Im Julia Child. After youve been seated, request a menu and take time to read it. There are certain items you should keep away from. For example, why draw needless attention to yourself by ordering a dish that requires donning a lobster bib? Instead, choose the shrimp cocktail theres no one to whom you have to offer one of your four tiny shrimp. Eat at a 3) leisurely pace. Order the exotic drink that comes with an umbrella or a free tote bag. Ask what the fresh fruit of the day is, but cake. go with the seven-layer Step VII. Okay, its Saturday night and you really dont want to go home yet. Why not check out one of those singles mixers youve been curious about for years? Choosing between a Sophisticated Singles Bash and a Oldies But Goodies may be difficult but indeed, your main criteria in dance a should be that it picking is located as far away from your neighborhood as possible. Whether you choose to go home with someone whose pants si ly dont S: reach his ankles is your business, but theres no need to advertise. Step VIII. If you prefer total anonymity, take yourself to a singles bar. Do not bother making statements like, Ive never been here before, because no one will believe you. Plan to stay until the point when you realize that the bestlooking guy is the bartender and that hed be more interested in your brother than you. Step IX. Of course, you may choose to go directly home after dinner. A wise choice. Relax, take off your shoes and put on any record that was not purchased by dialing a 800 number. Clean out your linen closet and discard Birds of North America dish towels. Step X. Beautify yourself. Trim cuticles. Apply Misty Plum nail polish. Remove Misty Plum nail polish. Have a facial. SUNDAY toll-fre- e Step I. Wake up, get dressed and go out to buy the Sunday paper. Spend the next hour trying to figure out why your paper has three sections and no entertainment guide. Tomorrow is Monday, so its time to start your diet. Again. Spend these last few hours wisely, polishing off all remaining junk food. If you have exceptional willpower you might try hiding it from yourself but and promise not to tell remember, you may want to save it for next weekend. real-esta- tonight? hamburger-cottag- somebody. er SATURDAY Step I. Wake up, check the clock and go back to sleep until noon. If you have trouble doing this, try watching Sunrise product. peach platter. When the waiter asks How many? dont be embarrassed. Tell him the truth. If this is your first time dining alone, however, you might want to try: Two Im waiting for 1) 1 te i t i t TUT lnl v Golden Spike Gem & Mineral Society ANHOAIL SBDOW at Ogden Union Station 25th Street and Wall Ave., Ogden Friday, Saturday, & Sunday, March 15, 16, 17 9 a.m.-- 8 p.m. 10 a.m.-- 8 p.m. 10 a.m.-- 5 100 Displays Filled with Rocks, Gems, Jewelry, and Fossils. How To Demonstrations , Dealers , Grab Bags & Door Prizes Come On Out For A Super Show! I t V p.m. Q 333I33l4QS-ti- r 13113 1 fotHtEEHS 2 XDlOii DJi 03 i a 5 ffli CEP D A t? Sails .nr on |