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Show 1995 THE ZEPHYRJAN-FE- B PAGE 2 Page Two dialogue with the stewardess." "That's flight attendant, buster." "Yeah, flight attendant. Anyway, isn't that strange? out and don a Delta "Yes, Jimmie. It's very strange. It almost makes me want to go uniform. I'm getting goose pimples just thinking about it. "Don't call me Jimmie...That also reminds me. Whatever happened to Rose Fryer? The one that called me 'Jimmie' 34 times in a six paragraph letter? She never wrote Page Two back." "The last I heard, she was sending love letters to Newt Gingrich. You're small potatoes now." "That hurts." "The truth always hurts, buckaroo. But the truth will also set you free." "What does that mean?" T couldn't tell you." "Mike?" Jim Stiles "Yes?" "What does it all mean? "Zzzzzzzz." "Please, Stiles. Not again." "Well, I just haw to wonder...is there a point to any of this madness that we see occurring around us? Arc trams and Burger Kings and Rodeway Inns the Destiny of "Stiles!" this town? Am Another dialogue... "Stiles." "Zzzzzzzz." just out of step with the vast majority of the community? Maybe small town values that I cherish and ding to are already a thing of the those past. Hell, maybe they never really existed at all. Maybe they're an illusion that I've created in my own mind. We all try to create a world for ourselves that we can be comfortable with. Maybe it's the myth that's crumbling before my very eyes, not the town. And yet, there's no mistaking the fact that Moab is hardly the town it was ten years ago. But then again, is that memory an illusion as well? Do you think my problem is that I'm just not flexible enough?" I so-call- ed "STILES!" "Hrmmmmm. What? Leave me alone." "Wake up." "Go away, Marooney" "You've got to wake up." "What for?" "You have to do the Lame Issue of the paper." "What do you mean? 1 thought we were done." "Nope. Remember? You still have one more issue to do this year. The Lame Issue." "That can't be right. The last issue was lame, wasn't it?" "The last issue was a lame issue, but it wasn't the Lame Issue." "What is the difference?" "You publish 11 issues a year; you've done ten. You owe the readers one more "Mike?" "Mike!" "7777777-- " "I'll be damncd...dcja vu." issue." "My god, do you think they're counting? Surely they've forgotten." "1 doubt it. Get up." "No." "GET UP!" "Unh unh." "What seems to be the problem, little buddy? You're not depressed again We're all getting pretty tired of your whiny holiday mood swings." are you? "I'm not depressed. I'm...reflectivc. And I'm not whining. I'm lamenting." "Well reflect on this. If you don't put out another issue, you'll alienate the small fraction of the town that isn't already mad at you." "Is it that bad?" "It's that bad." last year's Lame Issue. Who's "OK. What if I did this. What if we just remember?" to going ed "Someone will." "Then you write it, Marooney. just write the damn thing and put my name on it." "Would that make me a ghostwriter or you a plagiarist?" "Both, I think." "Get up, Stiles." "You know, Mike. It just occurred to me. This sounds exactly like last month's All the news that causes fits." THE CANYON COUNTRY ZEPHYR P.O.BOX 327 MOAB, UTAH 84532 (801) 259-77publisher b editor 73 Jim Stiles contributing writers Jack Campbell jane S. Jones Mary Herb Ringer food editor Willie Flocko ROVING REPORTER Robert Fulghum subscriptions & grounds maintenance Jan Peterson circulation Niels Adair . THE ZEPHYR, Copyright 1994, all rights reserved ven-dor- k:wWf.Jw;P destroyed the riparian habitat of Chimney Canyon. And here's where I really get steamed. The movement to eliminate the cow was led by a guide book writer, Mr. Steve Allen, the author of Canyoneering The San Rafael Swell. When the BLM checked out the complaints and determined that the cow was alone in the canyon and could not reproduce, the agency felt the best solution was to let the old girl live out her years in peace. But Mr. Allen would have none of it. According to Chris Smith of the Trib, Allen told the BLM he "would be happy to shoot the cow, perhaps in the winter when other backcountry users arc not present." The BLM declined Mr. Allen's kind offer, and instead, formed a volunteer group to rebuild the old road and lead the cow to other pastures. But the cow did not want to go. After all, it was the only home she ever knew. Pushed and prodded up the trail, she fell into a ravine, butted one of the wranglers who was trying to help her up, and then foil off a short ledge, landing on her side. She wouldn't get up. Finally, BLM employee Ruben Conde reported that "after some time, the decision was made to put her down...I dispatched her with a single round from my Sig Sauer duty weapon." The cow was dead. Thousands of tax dollars had been spent responding to the complaints, writing environmental analyses, rebuilding the road, and ultimately killing the cow. And yet, I can't help but wonder just who will ultimately cause more damage to Chimney Canyon. ITie lonely cow who wandered its length for more than a decade? Or the hordes of hikers who will read Mr. Allen's guide book and flock to the canyon for the 1990s' version of solitude. If hikers do more damage the ultimately, to the canyon than the cow, will Mr. Allen be willing to be "dispatched" as well? For the good of the canyon, of course. And now, my buddy Jane S. Jones. In December, Jane hailed the election of Dale Mosher, Ray Pene, and Bart Leavitt as a sign that Grand County had at last been returned to Grand Countyans. She suggested that these "newcomers" who have been runnmg Grand County for the last two years don't really understand Grand Cbunty and that the and natives will be better represented. I hope she's right, because, after living here 20 years, I consider myself an oldtimcr. And in a conversation I had with Dale Mosher shortly after the election, I felt somewhat encouraged by his remarks. I sensed Dale was as appalled by the rapid-fir- e c anges occurring to Moab as I am. But he seems to be a dramatic exception to the old-time- The Canyon Country Zephyr is a monthly newspaper, published eleven times a year at Moab, Utah. The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of its advertisers, or even at times of its publisher' m.'- d Desert Solitaire. The Chimney Canyon Cow might well have lived out her life in the solitude of the canyon had it not been for the complaints of hikers, who claimed this one cow had .45-calib- cr Grizzard Cherie Gilmore T. Scott Grocne Joel Tuhy Hank Rutter Dan O'Connor historical photos In the spirit of the Lame Issue, I'd like to take this opportunity to discuss some lame issues, stories that should never have made news in the first place. A couple of them will annoy both Grocne and Jane Jones, two persons diametrically opposed to each other, and both personal friends of mine. Anytime I can make both of them mad in the same piece, 1 feel like I've really accomplished something. First I'd like to speak in defense of a cow ( Down Groene. DOWN!). A couple weeks ago, I read a remarkable story by Chris Smith in the Salt Lake Tribune. He recounted the sad and poignant tale of the Chimney Canyon Cow. Many years ago, a cow wandered into this isolated canyon in the San Rafael Swell via an old mining road and subsequently gave birth. The mother died shortly thereafter and the calf fended for itself. The old mining road washed away and the calf could find no escape. And so Chimney Canyon became the home of the Chimney Canyon Cow. For years this animal survived alone in the depths of the chasm. For all intents and purposes, it was a wild animal, Horse" in surviving in the wilderness. She reminded me of Abbey's "The Moon-eye- s, - rs i i..- -.. r.mmiji ftLLg |
