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Show PAGE 2 THE ZEPHYR DECEMBER 1994 most certainly supported Knutson and Torres in 199Q, and who probably supported the recall So. ..we are right bade where we were in movement a year ago, won the three open seats. 1992? Who knows? 1990 and 1986. In two years will we be right back where we were in 1988 and "reform-mindegoverning body has been in And I am not sure it really matters. While a more as usual in Grand County. business most for the part, office these last two years, it has still been, little more costly and a little A recently passed subdivision ordinance will make development a more organized. But the residential development came and continues to come. And the ordinance new Council. The Council killed the Book may very well be revoked or at least ignored by the riiffa Highway last year. But the new Council may breathe new life into it. be undone by the next. We give new Anything one governing body chooses to pursue can in Grand County after another meaning to the word gridlock. Meanwhile, as one government rises and falls, the real power in this town. Big Money, continues to transform Moab into something we could only have dreamed of, just a few short years ago. PAGE TWO Shady Meadoua Funeral Parlor d" This is my air transportation column. I flew on an airplane again last month. It was one of those monster LI 0--1 Is that can carry a small city on board. I was supposed to have a window Beat, but when I made my way to 25E, I was smack in the middle of file center section. I never saw file ground during the entire flight, which started an hour and a half after its scheduled takeoff. We had taxied to the end of the runway and were second in line for departure, when the pilot came on the intercom. "folks, I was all set to take off, but I just don't like the sound of that outboard engine on the side. We're gonna take her back in and let the mechanics give her another look. Jim Stiles November 9, 1994 port Newt Gingridi? Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich? Isn't there something in the Uix Constitution that prohibits anyone named "Newt" from being Speaker of the House? Isn't there some law that disqualifies anyone named "Newt" from even holding public office? I need a couple aspirins and a stiff drink Once again. I'm reminded of the cyclical nature of things. But more and more, lately, I support the "Rolling Wheel Theory," which combines both linear and cyclical concepts of time and history. The question is: which way is the wheel rolling? I had previously thought (optimist that I am) that while conservatives and liberals, or progressives and regressives, or whatever you choose to label the warring factions, relinquish power and authority to each other at regular intervals, we as a civilization move inexorably and slowly forward. Racism, for example, still flourishes and thrives in the 90s, but we've come a long way from Selma, Alabama, Bull Connors, and "Coloreds Only" bathrooms. I'm not so sure I feel that way anymore. Change almost seems like an erratic kneejerk reaction to whatever happens to be alienating citizens on any given election day. Look at Grand County... Every two years, for the last five general elections, we have "thrown the bastards out." There is no ideological curve to it. In fact, this community looks more like a bunch of schizophrenics than anything else. Consider this. In 1986, Grand County elected David Knutson and Dutch Zimmerman to join incumbent Jimmie Walker on the Grand County Commission. All Republicans, they represented a very conservative perspective. That became apparent when the commission approved a plan to construct a toxic waste incinerator at Cisco, 35 miles upstream from Moab. v The citizens were furious. A referendum defeated the incinerator project by prohibiting that kind of use in a heavy industry commercial zone. Walker and Zimmerman werehandily defeated. Knutson, a strong supporter of the incinerator, survived because his term didn't expire for two more years. But when 1990 rolled around, David Knutscm and Manual Tones won landslide victories over their Democratic opponents, both of whom opposed the 1988 construction of the incinerator. In 1992, an electorate now angry with Knutson and Torres over a number of issues, but specifically, the Book Cliffs Highway, actually had to go to the extreme length of changing the form of government in order to throw these particular bastards out. Three months later, a new set of bastards who opposed the proposed highway easily won seats on the new seven-persCounty Council They survived a recall election six monfirs later. Three of the Council seats were open in fire fall of 1994. Two of the incumbents chose to But in the end, candidates, who retire at file end of their terms. John Hartley stood for on n. "All the news that causes fits." THE CANYON COUNTRY ZEPHYR P.O. BOX 327 publisher & editor JimStiles contributing writers Campbell Jane S. Jones Mary Grizzard Jack Cherie Gilmore T. Scott Groene Joel Tuhy Hank Rutter Dan O'Connor Herb Ringer "Sir." "Sir!" "What seems to be the problem, stewardess?" I sighed. "We're 'flight attendants,' sir." "Of course you are. And I'm Kato Kaelin. Where's my double martini?" "It's too late fen a drink now. The captain just announced that we are an our initial descent into Stan diford Held and you need to raise your seat to the upright position." "What for?" "Sir, FAA regulations require that all seats be in an upright position before landing. So if you don't mind... "I do mind. I want to know why I have to raise my seal "I just told you." "No you didn't. All you told me is who told you to tell me to put my seat up. Not why." "Sir..." "Call me Jim. Or Jimbo." "Jim, we are about to make our descent Won't you please raise your seat?" "What's your name, stewardess?" "I am a flight attendant and my name is Debbie." "Debbie, have you ever wandered why we have to return the seats to an upright position? Doesn't it concern you when you tell people to perform this little ritual every day of your life and you don't even know why? Don't you feel like you're being used? Don't you almost feel ...dirty?" "I know there's a good reason for it." "Good, then tell me. Tell all of us. We're all dying to hear why we need to put our seats up." ... "Sir!" told you to call me Jim ...Or Bob. I like the name Bob, you know. If I ever have a child and it's a boy, I think I'll name him Bob. It's a palindrome. That way, if he's dyslexic and he sees things backwards, he'll still be Bob. "What if it's a girl?" "I'd name her Bob." "Sir, you still have to put your seat up." "Listen to me. All of my life, people have been telling me to put my seat up. My mother used to tell me to dean my roan and I'd say why, and she'd say, 'because I told you so.' What kind of answer is that? Now decades later, I'm still being told to do something for no good reason at all I won't do it" "I believe I "SIR!" 259-77-73 historical photos entire experience baffling. What would happen, for example, if I refused to "return my seat to an upright position?" What possible difference could it make? What could they do to me? Arrest me? What would I be charged with? How much is bail for refusing to return an airline seat to its upright position? I want to know... "That's Bob to you, lady." MOAB, UTAH 84532 (801) Please do, I thought. I'm not particularly afraid of flying but I don't really understand many aspects of file airline industry. I think making sure all the engines are working is a great idea. But I don't understand many of file safety instructions and requirements that are conveyed to the passengers.,.1 find the food editor Willie Flocko you don't move your seat up, I'm going to call the captain." "That's fine. I'd lore to chat with file captain. But I will not put my seat up. As a matter of fact, I don't see why anybody should have to put up their seats." I stood up in the aisle and turned to the coadi class passengers. By now many of them were the conversation, and while a few seemed to think I was an obnoxious little weasel, following I could tell that I had struck a chord with many of them... should we this with "Why crap? Why should we let this stewardess..." put up "THAT'S FLIGHT ATTENDANT!" "OK. Why should we let this flight attendant tell us what to do? I say let's ALL move our seats to the recline position! It's time we stand up to the tyranny that dictates our lives every day of the week! Are you with me?" A little lady, about 110 years old who had been knocking back Scotch and yKias since Nebraska and sitting across the aisle rose from her seat, albeit a little uncertainly, and turned to the flight attendant. "Dear. I think you should answer the young man's question...why do we have to put our seats "If up?" Robert Fulghum subscriptions & grounds maintenance Jan Peterson circulation Niels Adair don't you start with me," snarled the stewardess. "Sit down and shut up. And put damn seat your up! A large man in 24D jumped out of his seat. "Hey that's no way to talk to a mnr dtizen. You to her." apologize "Insurrection! Revolt! Rebellion!" I screamed. "Rip off those seat belts! Push back your seats! Who cares if items in the overhead compartments have shifted them during flight Open up too! Let's put the stewardess in an overhead compartment! Use seat for a even your though we're over land! Stuff your pockets with Let's go CRAZY! Fly this plane to Lode lady, ROVING REPORTER THE ZEPHYR, Copyright 1994, all rights reserved mini-bottle- The Canyon Country Zephyr is a monthly newspaper, published eleven times a year at Moab, Utah. The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of its ven' dors, advertisers, or even at times of its publisher . Havana!" "Sir." s! |