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Show rotten outside, I can afford to get a motel room. But I think I miss the misery from time to time. It was such glorious suffering. If you haven't been there, you couldn't possibly understand. But for those of you who do... wasn't it grand? Who energy from the sun beaming it down to Earth...And lasers will be used to blast tons of ice slush, melting them away. Huge saltcarrying saucers will spray the city streets so that traffic can keep moving." WelL.OK. But his long term vision for the future was always so gentle and positive. This prediction is my favorite: is this Dan O'Connor? The strange computer-morphe- d photographs in this issue are the devious work of Dan O'Connor. While he contributes regularly to the Zephyr through his Twisted Tabloids, once a year Dan is turned loose to be as weird as he wants to be. He fits in so well here. And, incredibly, we've never met Dan lives in another screwed-u- p tourist town, Leavenworth, Washington. I send him photos and an idea or two and then Dan runs with it. Sometimes he throws out my ideas and comes up with something better. Someday I hope to sell him the Zephyr so I can move to Funafuti. Meanwhile...Thanks Dan. You're a wild man. "Since 1980 there has been a menacing unfriendly atmosphere and each of us feels a pain. But in 2042, the shroud will lift. Then everyone will forgive and forget Easier times will blossom on Earth and love will flood back into the world and civilization will get back to being civilization. "In 2042 there will be an easy happiness and everyone will have fresh starts. Everybody will get their wish then. Gay rights, Indian rights, women's rights, blacks' rights will all be passed and the government will beautify America and green parks and Earth's climate will destroy winter forever. The year 2042 will be like the simpler times of days gone by." Aliens? Psychic Phenomena. No laughing matter. Looking at this issue, it might appear that I take the matter of alien visitation and psychic phenomena lightly. I don't. The truth is, like most people, I don't know what to make of it all really. It's Last week, rummaging through an old box of letters, all ig. y I found some correspondence that I'd completely made me And it ponder the unanswerable questions forgotten. It's been 15 years since I've written to Fred. I have no idea if he's still in Chicago, or at the same address. But I think I'll drop him a line just the same. I hope he's still looking forward to 2042. so-b- other-worldl- again. While I was a ranger, the park received a letter from a man in Chicago who claimed to have had a vision. I'll call him Fred. He saw a giant nugget of gold, twelve miles long and three miles wide under Arches National Park. He thought we ought to know. The letter was dismissed as the ravings of a crank, but I jotted down Fred's address and began a correspondence with him. I didn't take any of this seriously at first. I flippantly asked him who the killer of Sal Mineo was (Mineo, an actor best known for his role in Rebel Without a Cause, was murdered in 1978). Fred sent me his "psychic impression" of the murderer a tall black man. A year later a tall black man was arrested and subsequently convicted of the crime. He also predicted in 1978 that Ronald Anti-Chri- Reagan would beat Jimmie Carter in the 1980 presidential election. He missed on his '84 prediction, believing that a woman would be elected for the first time. But it's Interesting to note that the Democratic Party did nominate Geraldine Ferraro as its vice presidential candidate, the first woman to ever run for national office. He was close, really. In 1981, having just gone through a divorce, I wrote to Fred The word I got back again. I wanted to know if I'd ever will many a blue 1996. You was: "You will not marry again until light yellow hair. eyed blonde. She will have long thigh-lengwoman you will marry will be a college The blonde blue-eyegraduate!" Fifteen years. I thought...is that good or bad? I didn't see this letter again until the middle of December 1996. 1 had two weeks to find the woman of my destiny but I never did. Fred was wrong on this one. Some of his other predictions were a little wacky he predicted, for example, that "in the year 2005, the government will declare war on winter by having industry create underwater cities and cities in space and satellites that absorb vast sources of re-mar- th d kid. What's not lame.-th- is I despise schmaltz. I'm a grumpy guy, you know. Call me warm and fuzzy and I'll hit you. When it comes to children, it seems to me that when they're real little, they're mostly sticky and when they get older they become pains in the butt. A doting mother once slapped me when, after watching her daughter throw her fifth temper tantrum of the morning, I observed, "Well would be a girl?" Who would have thought that the all to is that comment parents. Where disgusting Apparently arc you W.C Helds, when I need you? With that disclaimer, I have to say a few nice words about the kid pictured below. That's Charlie Schildt, the son of Chuck Schildt and Kathy Cooney. He's a mutant. When he saw his first rainbow on the La Sals, he said (at age four), "That is pure genius." When his grandmother asked him what he wanted for Christmas this year he replied, if you can believe this, "Get me whatever you SUBSCRIBE TO THE ZEPHYR year for only $15.00 Twelve issues (2 ycars)-.$28.Eighteen issues (3 years).M$40.00 Six issues a 00 Name-Addre- ss City., State 6 Zip. (INCLUDE 9 DIGIT ZIP) PLEASE READ THIS: The P.O. will not forward 3rd Class mail If you do not send us a change of address, we cannot be responsible for issues you did not receive. Subscriptions must begin with the next issue...back issues are available for $2.50 each. st want, Those readers who choose to take disadvantage of the multi-yea- r counts do so at their own risk. There is no guarantee that the world will be here in three years, much less this publication. The Zephyr may still make you ill. but its still not the ink. WE USE NON-TOXI- Grandma...I know I'll love it." And when he was asked what he'd wish for if he had only one wish, Charlie said with a sigh, "I wish they'd just left King Kong on that island." You know, the world is a pretty bleak place and usually it seems like it's getting worse. But between Fred's psychic visions of 2042 and kids like Charlie, I stop and I wonder and I think...maybc. Just maybe.. C SOY INK Send Subscriptions to: P.O. BOX 327. MOAB. UT 84532 REMEMBERING GLEN CANYON in the April-Ma- y on newsstands March PAGE 4 WHATS LAME? WelLwhere to begin? The publisher of this rag is tired of listening to whiny southern Utah conservatives 6 the new national monument. What else? Those silly 'Greatest Snow.- -' license plates. And lousy tippers. And blatant misuses of apostrophes. And cougar killers. And, etc. etc PAGE 8 A STRANGE OCCURENCE AT THOMPSON SPRINGS by Peter Haney PAGE11 Dan O'Connor's 'Twisted Tabloid:' MAYOR STOCKS SAVES CHOKING ALIEN! PAGE 12 A LIN OTTINGER PROFILE: by Dink Bridgets. Rockhound. guide, fed-hate- r, Lin is one of Moab's most colorful characters. PAGE 16 EXHIBITION THE ZEPHYR S 1997: From Terry Tempest Williams. Orrin Hatch 6 Robert Redford to the Grand County Council. Dan O'Connor spares no one PAGE 18 THE DONALD CURREY AWARD. Owen Severance presents the first in a series for environmental insensitivity' ALIEN-SWIMSUI- T to the staff of Natural Bridges National Monument. PAGE 20 AROUND THE BEND: Ken Sleight's battle with San Juan County continues. This time: THE TRIAL PAGE23 HERB RINGER'S AMERICAN WEST: Herb remembers Shorty Yarrow. PAGE25 SUBJECT TO CHANGE: By Cheric Gilmore. What do we really want for the New Year? PAGE 27.THE CANYON COUNTRY WATCHDOG with S.U.W.A.S Ken Rait 6 Dave Pacheco and PAGE 31 FEEDBACK jMffWPI mUti issue 21 |
